Monthly Archives: October 2011

Worst Steve Jobs Tribute Ever

Sometimes I forget that Hello Kitty looks at every event that makes the news as an opportunity to promote herself no matter how utterly distasteful doing so may be. A perfect example of this is the evil feline’s decision to create a Hello Kitty Steve Jobs as a memorial tribute as if anyone (besides the fanatics) could ever view this as something positive. See for yourself:

Posted in Celebrities, Strange | 16 Comments

Hello Kitty Bethenny Frankel

It’s obvious that Hello Kitty wants anyone and everyone to promote her, even if it’s a D-List TV personality wearing an age inappropriate costume. I could go on and on about what a sad train wreck the Bethenny Frankel Hello Kitty costume is, but a couple of photos will do that so much better:

Posted in Celebrities, Holiday | 11 Comments

Hello Kitty Mummy Costume

While I’m not a big fan of any of the Hello Kitty costumes that are out there, I’m especially horrified with this one. I think that this Hello Kitty mummy cosplay model confirms, without a doubt, that Hello Kitty supports eating disorders:

Posted in Fashion, Holiday, Strange, Videos | 7 Comments

Hello Kitty Lego Halloween

Apparently there are some people that aren’t simply satisfied with ruining Halloween with an abundance of the evil feline, but also feel it necessary to throw in another beloved iconic toy to ruin as well. When this happens, the result is stuff like the Hello Kitty Lego Halloween figures:

Posted in Holiday, Toys | 13 Comments

Hello Kitty Plane

I guess it’s sort of appropriate that EVA Air has announced today that they will once again start flying Hello Kitty planes since this is the time of the year when things that you thought were long dead come back to life in order to both haunt you and eat your brain (something that the evil feline seems quite adept at doing). Yes, there will be a Hello Kitty plane once again to torture all those that have the unfortunate … Continue reading

Posted in Strange, Travel, Vehicle | 14 Comments

Hello Kitty Cigarettes

There really was no doubt left that Hello Kitty would put her name and likeness on anything and everything after she decided that the Hello Kitty vibrator (oh, sorry, I meant “shoulder massager”) was actually an acceptable item for the evil feline to promote. Since Hello Kitty alcohol was also deemed age appropriate for all the fanatics, was it really that much of a stretch to believe that Hello Kitty cigarettes would appear at some point?

Posted in Health, Strange | 25 Comments

Hello Kitty Halloween Costumes 2011

I knew this was coming. I secretly prayed that it wouldn’t, but the mere fact that the evil feline exists pretty much proves that there is no God. It has become an annual torture fest beginning with Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkins landing in my email, then eventually a Hello Kitty Halloween costume ending up there as well. Although I had tried to mentally prepare myself for horror that would undoubtedly appear, I had no idea what an utterly frightening mess … Continue reading

Posted in Fashion, Holiday, Sex | 13 Comments

Hello Kitty Halloween Obento

It’s bad enough that Hello Kitty puts herself all over typical Halloween themes like Hello Kitty pumpkins and Hello Kitty costumes. It’s a stretch when the evil feline starts appearing on Halloween cupcakes and Halloween cookies. You know that there’s absolutely no boundaries when she shows up on a Halloween car, Halloween finger nails and in a Hello Kitty Halloween obento:

Posted in Food | 7 Comments

Hello Kitty Dart Board

One of the things that I fear most about posting Hello Kitty crap is that it will lead to more Hello Kitty crap in my email. A perfect example is when I posted the Hello Kitty shooting target on Facebook. Christine then offhandedly asked the question, “For those who don’t have access to guns, how about a Hello Kitty dartboard?” Guess what ended up in my mailbox a few days later? Was there any doubt that it was a Hello … Continue reading

Posted in Games, Sports, Strange, Toys | 6 Comments

Hello Kitty Halloween Cookies

I guess I should have expected it. If there are Hello Kitty Halloween cupcakes, was there really any doubt that there would also be Hello Kitty Halloween cookies as well?

Posted in Food, Holiday | 3 Comments

Hello Kitty Barbecue

All of a sudden, I enthusiastically support barbecues:

Posted in Strange | 13 Comments

Hello Kitty Shooting Target

It’s not often that I can get behind a Hello Kitty product, but I do have to say that I approve of this. With all the Hello Kitty guns that are out there, it’s about time that they had something worthy to shoot at — namely a Hello Kitty shooting target:

Posted in Guns, Strange | 7 Comments

Hello Kitty Ghostbusters Proton Pack

This really shouldn’t be a surprise. When the evil feline is willing to create a Hello Kitty Darth Vader or a Hello Kitty Klingon, it isn’t a stretch to imagine that she would try to invade absolutely every imaginable franchise including Ghostbusters. So while my eyes bleed at the sickly pink and my brain hurts at the abomination of a Hello Kitty Ghostbusters proton pack, I can’t say that I’m really all that surprised. If you’re a fan, be prepared … Continue reading

Posted in Gadgets, Strange, Videos | 7 Comments

Hello Kitty Armageddon Soldier

When Armageddon arrives, I have absolutely no doubt that this is exactly what we’ll all see in the streets:

Posted in Strange | 19 Comments

Hello Kitty Diamonds

One would assume that since Hello Kitty has no mouth that she wouldn’t be able to speak, and thus there wouldn’t be any Hello Kitty quotes that my wife could constantly reference. Of course, that would make way too much sense which is definitely not the way the evil feline works. In fact, she has what would appear to be the most ludicrous quotes in the world to anyone other than a HK fanatic. Take for example, my wife’s favorite … Continue reading

Posted in Fashion | 10 Comments

Hello Kitty Halloween Pumpkins 2011

While I do believe that creating a Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkin is the best way to ruin a perfectly good holiday, I guess it’s a great way to scare the hell out of all the kids in the neighborhood and keep them away from your house.

Posted in Holiday | 5 Comments

Hello Kitty Gold Hand Grenades

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice … Continue reading

Posted in Guns, Strange | 10 Comments

Hello Kitty Dentures

As you all well know, I don’t get Hello Kitty. It isn’t just some parts of it — I don’t get any of it. That being said, there are certain areas that I don’t get a lot more than others. For example, I have absolutely no idea why an cat with no mouth has such an oral fixation. Not just any oral fixation, either. In typical Hello Kitty fashion, the oral fixation is with the most bizarre stuff imaginable. How … Continue reading

Posted in Strange | 10 Comments

Hello Kitty Prius

I knew that I would probably regret putting together a photo album of all the different Hello Kitty cars that exist, and it sure didn’t take long for the regret to arrive in my email. No sooner had Sammy Bear on facebook asked the question, “Out of all the cars so far…where is a Prius? just saying” did this a Hello Kitty Prius photo show up (like anyone would doubt that a Hello Kitty Toyota Prius existed…)

Posted in Vehicle, Videos | 7 Comments

Hello Kitty Paper Clips

I should know by now never to ask my wife for something, no matter how innocent that request may seem, because the request will undoubtedly result in Hello Kitty somehow invading my life (like the Hello Kitty paper shredder). Take, for example, what happened when I temporarily lost my senses and I asked my wife for a paper clip. One would assume that this request for a mundane office supply would hold no danger whatsoever, but that assumption fails to … Continue reading

Posted in Business | 3 Comments