Ice Cubes

Anyone who lives with a Hello Kitty fanatic will know that there are many progressions which take you deep into the hellish nightmare that your life eventually encompasses. For many, the first sign that things aren’t right is when your morning toast inevitably shows up with the evil feline’s face on it. It’s simply one of those moments when it instantly dawns on you that things are much worse than you had ever imagined, and the uneasy feeling penetrates your entire body that it’s only going to get worse. Another one of those terrible realizations occurs when these first show up in one of your drinks:

hello kitty ice cubes

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Tipped Bullets

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio┬« has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty┬« to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

It really is pretty pathetic when the character who is supposed to spread love and happiness to all has so many Hello Kitty gun models out there that she could start her own army — and that it’s gotten to the point where seeing a new gun isn’t really a surprise anymore. Even more disturbing, you know that there will continue to be more and more because the evil feline will brand anything to earn an extra buck. So one might make the mistake and imagine that we’d seen the worst when it came to the one with no mouth and firearms, but anyone who has followed this blog knows that doing so merely means that you’re deluding yourself because it appears that she is now looking to produce a line of Hello Kitty tipped bullets (far more terrifying than any hollow point bullet)

Hello-Kitty-tipped-bullets
Note: Due to a DMCA copyright notice from the lawyers of Sanrio, we were forced to censor this image

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Macy’s Parade New Balloon

When it comes to Thanksgiving and giving thanks to the things in our lives, I think I can say with a fair amount of certainty that the evil feline invading my life is not something which will ever make my list. In fact, Hello Kitty is pretty much the opposite of anything that anyone should be thankful for, and definitely not something that most people want to see on a day of giving thanks. Apparently the people at Macy’s see things a bit differently and want to inflict a new kind of misery upon the masses since the old version didn’t seem to be bad enough (with the obvious consequences that everyone will be relieving themselves of their Thanksgiving Day meal). Thus Macy’s has seen fit to introduce a new Hello Kitty Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon:

Hello Kitty Macy's Thanksgiving parade balloon

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Movie Theater

It seems that when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, the evil feline derives a sadistic pleasure in trying to find ways to ruin any and all things that might provide the tiniest bit of pleasurable relief from her existence. Take, for example, going to the movie theater. One would assume that barring having to sit through some type of unfathomably tortuous Hello Kitty movie, the theater would be a pretty safe place to escape from the horrendous onslaught of all things with the mouthless cat on them. Of course, that assumption would be a huge mistake because it has been well established that there is virtually nothing that she hasn’t branded in some way. It seems that nobody will now be able to go to a movie theater without the fear that they’ll end up sitting in a nightmare of a place like this:

Hello Kitty movie theater

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