Hello Kitty Hell

If there is one thing that the human race absolutely does not need, it is a new Hello Kitty theme song. The fact that the original Hello Kitty theme song is so hideous that it is used by terrorist organizations to break the will of all enemies within minutes goes without saying. This would lead [...]

If you want to thoroughly traumatize your ears and eyes, while at the same time wasting two minutes of your life, all you have to do is listen to the high pitch, diabetes inducing noise of Mano Erina’s song Love & Peace = Paradise (Hello Kitty version of course). Having people scratch their fingernails on [...]

While it pains me to no end to use the terms “Hello Kitty” and “practical” in the same sentence, Hello Kitty earbuds do seem more practical than Hello Kitty earbud charms. That being said, Hello Kitty earbuds also seem like a practical torture device. Simply attach them to a Hello Kitty device that will blind, [...]

It’s not like the world needs another Hello Kitty digital music player, but just because something is not needed doesn’t mean the evil feline won’t sell it. In this case she resorts to her favorite marketing tool that is sure to appeal to all the Hello Kitty fanatics — covering the digital music player with [...]

You have to question the sanity of any band that would think it’s a good idea to create a song about Hello Kitty. The fact that the band actually thought it would be a good idea pretty much indicates how it is going to be (for those that are unable to understand hint, that was [...]

My wife already had all kinds of Hello Kitty media gadgets that all do the same thing and most of which she never uses, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to add more to her collection. Her latest want is the Hello Kitty Samsung YP-U5 DAP which ultimately means listening to the Hello Kitty [...]

One would think that the evil feline would be satisfied after convincing guitar makers to sell their souls and produce both Hello Kitty acoustic guitars and Hello Kitty electric guitars (not to mention what happens when people actually play them or even worse, pretend to play them). This, of course, would be greatly underestimating the [...]

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:
Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty [...]

I guess it could have gone without saying since anything that involves Hello Kitty is “creepy” to some extent, but it seems to take on horror film dimensions when a Hello Kitty plush comes to life in the back of a music video. I just sat there watching — waiting for Hello Kitty to produce [...]

It’s never a good sign when I receive emails from numerous readers about something Hello Kitty, but it’s even worse when the publicity department backing the evil feline also feels that sending me a press release is a positive thing to do. Thus was the case of the new Hello Kitty music CD that has [...]

I found this in my email box today – an original Hello Kitty fanatic song by Anna Joy. The song pretty much sums up what it’s like living with a Hello Kitty fanatic…
You can listen to the song at The Ugly Trannies Myspace Page (click the “Hello Kitty” on the player – warning: words NSFW)
You [...]

It has been well established that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t need to have any use for a Hello Kitty product to still lust after it and decide that they need to add it to their collection. My wife doesn’t play any musical instrument, but that has not stopped her from collecting a small symphony of [...]

If you had any doubt that no place was safe from the claws of Hello Kitty, that doubt may now be put to rest. Hello Kitty has managed to wriggle her way into a lot of places she isn’t wanted, but I figured there were a few places that would never take to her – [...]

In Hello Kitty’s never ending quest to always make things worse than she already has, she has moved beyond the Hello Kitty roll up piano and decided to brand a full size piano as well…

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. It does actually look like someone downed several bottles of Pepto Bismol and then [...]

It’s bad enough that there are a wide arrange of Hello Kitty electric guitars (not to mention Hello Kitty acoustic guitars), but it goes to a whole new level when Hello Kitty forces her way into an air guitar competition:

I really didn’t need to see this and I’m sure I’ll be having plenty of nightmares [...]

While all Hello Kitty products make me cringe, there are some that go beyond the normal Hello Kitty Hell cringe and bring actual physical pain to me when I think about them. My head is throbbing just thinking about the newest gadget my wife wants: the Hello Kitty Karaoke machine:

Listening to the Hello Kitty theme [...]

My ears are ringing with pain at just the thought of this – a tween pop duo with Hello Kitty electric guitars being sponsored by Hello Kitty to go on tour known as Aly & AJ. Never heard of them? Neither has my wife, but since they are touring around in a Hello Kitty themed [...]

When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, a “fun night on the town” is not what any normal person would consider “fun.” Unfortunately, there are a lot of Hello Kitty themed events that I end up getting dragged along to. By far the worst of these are the Hello Kitty musicals:

I don’t know if there [...]

You know that Hello Kitty Hell is getting bad when my wife wants something Hello Kitty and I think, “Well, at least it’s not as bad as it could be.” That was my thought when she announced that she wanted the Hello Kitty roll-up piano:

While any normal person would take one look at that and [...]

Is it really a surprise if there are seven different Hello Kitty electric guitars that there would also be Hello Kitty acoustic guitars?

Hello Kitty Hell won’t be complete until there is an entire orchestra of Hello Kitty musical instruments, and believe me, if it is possible, my wife will find a way to assemble it…