Hello Kitty The Darker Side

You’re excited for Halloween because you have decided to go out as Darth Vader. You can’t wait for your friends to see your awesome costume. Then mom says that you have to take your little sister with you. You can’t believe your rotten luck. Having your little sister tagging along is going to ruin everything. You think that it is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. That is until you see your little sister’s costume:

hello kitty Darth Vader pink

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Hello Kitty Buddha

There are two truths about Hello Kitty: She’ll piggy back on anything that she thinks will sell her brand and go anywhere to do it. It is because of this truth that it is no surprise (although still stomach churning) that the evil feline has found her way to Burning Man in the form of Buddha (never say that Hello Kitty discriminates against religions). I guess Burning Man is now off my lists of events to attend…

hello kitty Buddha

Sent in By Patrick

Hello Kitty Louvre Museum

More proof that the entire world is going to Hello Kitty Hell. You know that all is not right in the world when the the evil feline is prominently displayed in the gift shop of the supposed bastion of high art. I guess I won’t be traveling to the Louvre Museum anytime soon:

hello kitty Louvre museum

Sent in by Janet who says “This is the gift shop at the Louvre Museum! Even my 6 year old was unimpressed.”

Hello Kitty Theme Song Ending

There is never a good reason for anyone to ever have to listen to the Hello Kitty theme song (besides possibly terrorist interrogation). Despite this, not listening to the Hello Kitty theme song is not a realistic possibility if you live with a Hello Kitty fanatic. I guess if one must listen to it, there should be, at the very minimum, a quality ending.

Sent in by James

Hello Kitty Bow Ring

There really should be a law that prohibits the combination of Hello Kitty and rings which should have been evident from the Hello Kitty wedding rings. Of course, the evil feline would never let the horror stop there. Case in point — another hideous left-over from the Three Apples event which should obviously die a fiery death, but people keep insisting on sending me: The Hello Kitty bow ring.

hello kitty bow ring

I guess Hello Kitty fanatics like the boxing glove look (although I must admit that simply seeing this makes me want to punch something)…

Sent in by far too many people who obviously have way too much time on their hands and are clinically blind.

Hello Kitty Por Vida Tattoo

In the never ending line of Hello Kitty tattoos that make you thankful that you have at least an ounce of common sense, we now add the Hello Kitty Por Vida tattoo. I’m sure there will never be any regrets here with this tattoo just as there are never any regrets of forever giving your life to a gang…

hello kitty por vida tattoo

Sent in by Senorita Cheeba

Pink Gun

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio┬« has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty┬« to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

The evil feline can never have enough weapons to arm her hoards of fanatics when it comes time to forcibly take over the world. Another Hello Kitty pink hand gun to add to that collection:

hello kitty pink gun

Sent in by Shelly

Hello Kitty Seaweed

Hello Kitty continues her quest to make sure nobody ever wants to eat again (or at least immeasurably suffer when it comes to eating food). Apparently being able to punch faces of Hello Kitty out of seaweed isn’t enough for the evil feline. For those that feel that it is too much effort to punch Hello Kitty’s face (oh how that would be so much better of a sentence if it was being used in a different context), you can now actually buy seaweed that has Hello Kitty on it:

hello kitty seaweed

Sent in by Peter

Hello Kitty Chemical Factory

Was there ever really any doubt that the evil feline has a number of chemical factories across the world? The problem was that these Hello Kitty chemical factories were hidden across various countries in secret locations so they could spew out their mind altering gas (seriously, is there any other logical explanation for Hello Kitty fanatics?) without any protests. The first of these Hello Kitty chemical factories has been found:

hello kitty chemical factory

Sent in by lilly (via elfo streetart – image used with permission)

Hello Kitty Chocolate Covered Macadamia Nuts

If there was ever really any doubt, it has now been confirmed. Hawaii has officially become an extended island of Japan and has succumbed to ownership of the evil feline (can the rest of the world really be that far behind?). Introducing Hello Kitty Hawaiian chocolate covered macadamia nuts:

hello kitty chocolate covered macadamia nuts

Sent in by kerri

Update: Apparently the people at Sanrio know all too well that if they combine chocolate with Hello Kitty, there is nothing that will stop the Hello Kitty fanatic from buying it (at least in the case of my wife). Suffice to say, my wife can’t wait to get hold of this new line of Hello Kitty chocolate macadamia nuts coming out and I see the continued take over of the world by the evil feline…

hello kitty Hawaiian host chocolates

Hello Kitty Google Chrome Theme

It’s not enough for the evil feline to fill my house with all of her Hello Kitty crap, she now also wants to be part of my browsing the Internet when using Google Chrome. I guess getting this might be a good way to lose a few pounds because there is no way that you are going to be able to keep any food down if you have to look at that all day…

hello kitty chrome theme

Hello Kitty Google chrome theme

Sent in by Katy (via Chrome Plugins)

Hello Kitty Darth Vader Helmet

This is why you never want to have a daughter with a Hello Kitty fanatic. When it comes time to give a gift to your daughter, somehow it will get rationalized that a full size custom Hello Kitty Darth Vader model head would be a good idea:

Hello Kitty Darth Vader helmet

Sent in by Holly (via JD Hancock – used with permission)

Hello Kitty Kilt

True to form, Hello Kitty has an entire nation of ancestors rolling over in their graves. You knew that something like this would have to be made because if there was one image that had not yet been terrifyingly burned into my brain, it was a man wearing a Hello Kitty skirt. The evil feline can now cross that off her list of things to torture me with:

Hello Kitty kilt

Sent in by zaphod

Update: I don’t know how anyone would ever dream that trying this again could be a good idea, but apparently I continue to underestimate the evil feline:

Hello Kitty plaid kilt

Sent in by Brad

Hello Kitty Xbox Controller

If there is one rule of thumb when living with a Hello Kitty fanatic, it is never to leave anything that you value where the Hello Kitty fanatic has access to it. Why you ask? Because if you do, you’ll end up with an Xbox controller that looks like this…

hello kitty xbox controller

left by eignasan via Twitter who says “My boyfriend will love his improved HK controller when he sees it.”

Update: Apparently Gamecube game controllers are also not immune against being Hello Kittified:

hello kitty gamecube controller

Sent in by Fluff who asks, “Why do girls feel the need to collect all that rubbish? Check out what my gf did to my gamecube controller!”

Hello Kitty Bratz Lady Gaga Dress

Apparently Bratz doesn’t feel that Barbie should be the only one to get to wear the dress. It really doesn’t make a difference what doll is wearing it. It’s going to give the average non Hello Kitty fanatic nightmares…

Hello Kitty Bratz Lady Gaga dress

Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission)

Hello Kitty Soldier Cake

What should you get a soldier on his birthday? Apparently some people think that a Hello Kitty birthday cake with the evil feline in full combat uniform holding a machine gun is the way to go. Of course, this would include the words that Hello Kitty would undoubtedly be barking out to soldiers in the field if she were in command: “Guts & Drive!”

Hello Kitty soldier cake

Sent in by HK Guy (via Artisan Cakes by e.t. – photo used with permission)

Hello Kitty Mouth Mutant

Have you ever wondered why Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? Let me tell you, it has nothing to do with her “only needing to speak from her heart.” It’s because when she has a mouth, you see her as the true mutant that she actually is. See for yourself:

Hello Kitty mutants with mouths

Sent in by Essi who found them at a flea market at Finland.