Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty continues her quest to make sure nobody ever wants to eat again (or at least immeasurably suffer when it comes to eating food). Apparently being able to punch faces of Hello Kitty out of seaweed isn’t enough for the evil feline. For those that feel that it is too much effort to punch [...]

Was there ever really any doubt that the evil feline has a number of chemical factories across the world? The problem was that these Hello Kitty chemical factories were hidden across various countries in secret locations so they could spew out their mind altering gas (seriously, is there any other logical explanation for Hello Kitty [...]

If there was ever really any doubt, it has now been confirmed. Hawaii has officially become an extended island of Japan and has succumbed to ownership of the evil feline (can the rest of the world really be that far behind?). Introducing Hello Kitty Hawaiian chocolate covered macadamia nuts:

Sent in by kerri

It’s not enough for the evil feline to fill my house with all of her Hello Kitty crap, she now also wants to be part of my browsing the Internet when using Google Chrome. I guess getting this might be a good way to lose a few pounds because there is no way that you [...]

This is why you never want to have a daughter with a Hello Kitty fanatic. When it comes time to give a gift to your daughter, somehow it will get rationalized that a full size custom Hello Kitty Darth Vader model head would be a good idea:

Sent in by Holly (via JD Hancock – [...]

True to form, Hello Kitty has an entire nation of ancestors rolling over in their graves. You knew that something like this would have to be made because if there was one image that had not yet been terrifyingly burned into my brain, it was a man wearing a Hello Kitty skirt. The evil feline [...]

If there is one rule of thumb when living with a Hello Kitty fanatic, it is never to leave anything that you value where the Hello Kitty fanatic has access to it. Why you ask? Because if you do, you’ll end up with an Xbox controller that looks like this…

left by eignasan via [...]

Apparently Bratz doesn’t feel that Barbie should be the only one to get to wear the dress. It really doesn’t make a difference what doll is wearing it. It’s going to give the average non Hello Kitty fanatic nightmares…

Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission)

What should you get a soldier on his birthday? Apparently some people think that a Hello Kitty birthday cake with the evil feline in full combat uniform holding a machine gun is the way to go. Of course, this would include the words that Hello Kitty would undoubtedly be barking out to soldiers in the [...]

Have you ever wondered why Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? Let me tell you, it has nothing to do with her “only needing to speak from her heart.” It’s because when she has a mouth, you see her as the true mutant that she actually is. See for yourself:

Sent in by Essi who found [...]

When you combine the holiday season with a Hello Kitty fanatic, nobody escapes. Not even the family dog, although the dog does appear ready to go for the jugular at the first opportunity:

Sent in by Kendra

When the evil feline puts her claws into you, it’s not pretty and you do things that you will undoubtedly thoroughly regret later in your life. I would be definitely be hiding behind a camera too if I was wearing this ridiculous monstrosity on my head.

Sent in by Kate

One more reason it is Hello Kitty Hellish having a Hello Kitty fanatic in the family during the holiday season (and a good way to make sure Santa never wants to return to your home again):

Left by on Kristine Facebook

I have no doubt that this was created to make sure that the significant other of every Hello Kitty fanatic suffers intolerable agony on a daily basis for the entire month of December as he has to listen each morning to the excited, high pitch squeals of joy about how cute that day’s chocolate [...]

This is on my wife’s current wish list which probably means that I will soon have the evil feline flipping me off every time I go to get a cup of life sustaining liquid. I wonder how long I will have to sleep in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag when my wife sees me returning [...]

Apparently Hello Kitty throws up rainbows — which would lead one to imagine that something like unicorns would come out the other end, or at least something pink. I guess not…

Sent in by christy (via Beyond The Pocket)

How do you take a really bad idea like Snuggies and make them even worse? Simple — add the evil feline into the mix and you get a truly horrifying piece of material that is sure to leave you friendless:

Of course, Hello Kitty fanatics have been doing the Hello Kitty snuggie bathrobe mod for [...]

It’s never a good sign when you see something in Hello Kitty Hell for the first time, but you can usually console yourself with the fact that it was most likely a one time abnormality that you will never have to witness again. It’s much more worrisome when that image appears for a second time [...]

Living in Hello Kitty Hell, you get used to seeing all the overpriced cheap crap that is out there, but the evil feline seems to take the overpriced theory a lot more seriously than most retailers. Case in point, the Hello Kitty POW! necklace which looks like it comes out of one of those gumball [...]

If a Hello Kitty fanatic is going to have a Hello Kitty Christmas tree, you know that they are sure to have a Hello Kitty Christmas wreath as well. Now you know the reason that suicides spike during the holidays:

Sent in by Gabe