Hello Kitty Hell

The people at Sanrio seem to do everything in their power to make my life miserable in winter. The pink set arrived at our house yesterday and is a perfect example to illustrate this point…

One of the many problems of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that there are far too many unexpected (usually of the horrifying variety) surprises. One would assume that the clothes in my closet would be safe from these events, but I found out a few minutes ago that is not the case when I [...]

While it pains me to no end to use the terms “Hello Kitty” and “practical” in the same sentence, Hello Kitty earbuds do seem more practical than Hello Kitty earbud charms. That being said, Hello Kitty earbuds also seem like a practical torture device. Simply attach them to a Hello Kitty device that will blind, [...]

You would think that once Halloween was over that everyone could feel safe from the horror of having Hello Kitty fanatics dress up as the evil feline. Sanrio, in all their evilness, has other ideas. In an effort to torture all non Hello Kitty fanatics into submission, Sanrio wants to make dressing up as Hello [...]

One would think that it would be impossible to make a harem of sex dolls stored in the closet any creepier, but that is definitely not the case. That’s because when you place a large Hello Kitty plush on the top shelf to watch over them and a Hello Kitty night light on the floor [...]

The evil feline knows how to make a generation of real skateboarders want to purposely road rash themselves to death. When Hello Kitty gets the endorsement of Hilary Duff for skateboarding, skateboarders can roll their eyes knowing that their sport is safe and has nothing to worry about. When Mike Carroll creates Hello Kitty skateboard [...]

You know that you have lived in Hello Kitty Hell far too long when you take a look at photos like this and immediately say to yourself, “well at least her face mask isn’t Hello Kitty” when in reality any sane person would be running as fast as they could in the opposite direction in [...]

What happens if you are a male in a Hello Kitty dominated family? You get stuck having to use things covered with the evil feline through no fault of your own which can be especially traumatizing when you are only in the third grade. Even when the Hello Kitty fanatics try to edit it to [...]

I’ve seen a number of Hello Kitty gumball machines through the years and my wife always insists on getting a gumball out of them as if a Hello Kitty gumball machine will somehow make the gumball taste any better. I, on the other hand, simply see Hello Kitty gumball machines as a way for the [...]

I don’t think that guys understand the appeal of canopies over beds in the first place, but that lack of understanding compounds immeasurably when the canopy features the evil feline on it. Let’s hope that my wife fails to find one of these because I can think of nothing more disheartening than waking up in [...]

I guess when you play competitive games, you have to sometimes sacrifice your dignity in order to win. That can be the only explanation for the Hello Kitty paintball gun. There is no doubt that upon seeing it, any opponent will be instantaneously frozen with both fear and disgust leaving him/her to be a sitting [...]

One of the greatest tragedies of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that even when Halloween is over, the torture from the holiday doesn’t end because all the fanatics feel it necessary to email me and my wife their Hello Kitty costumes. All I can say is that I’m just happy that none of them [...]

It seems that all of Hello Kitty’s love and kindness wasn’t quite able to save her from this ignoble fate. Now if only I was allowed to do that to our pumpkins each year, I could definitely celebrate the evil feline’s birthday in style each year. Nothing wrong with dreaming…

Sent in by swipper
Update: Almost as [...]

In the never ending display of Hello Kitty combo tattoos that make absolutely no sense and will undoubtedly seem just as smart to have gotten 25 years from now, we have yet another entry — the Hello Kitty Pinhead tattoo.

Sent in by far too many people…

Another week, another gun to add to the Hello Kitty gun collection. It’s more than a little disturbing that Hello Kitty guns have become so common that my reaction is “oh, another Hello Kitty gun” and no “wtf is wrong with the human race?” It won’t be too much longer that the evil feline will [...]

I’m not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that they actually make a Hello Kitty radio-controlled truck or the amount of fun that the person seems to be having using it. I kept hoping against hope that someone would walk by and step on the damn thing or that it would fall down [...]

This is definitely going to be a long and horrifying Halloween if this is any indication of the Hello Kitty Halloween costumes that will be finding their way into my mailbox over the next few days. If you can be judged by the friends you keep, this pretty much explains the Hello Kitty I know…

Sent [...]

I have no doubt that Hello Kitty will be the death of me. One day the sweetness will become so overwhelming that I will find myself trying to get it out of my system by slicing my wrists. Apparently the evil feline wants to give me a choice when this time comes: I can go [...]

Apparently the evil feline wants us to believe that flu masks adorned with her image are more than just fashion statements and are actually something you would want to wear to help prevent swine flu. While Hello Kitty fanatics may be willing to place their health in the hands of Hello Kitty products, (as I [...]

What’s worse than an Apple lover embracing Microsoft? When users of Apple products start accepting the Hello Kitty and deciding it’s all right to even modify old hardware to celebrate the evil feline. Let’s just pray that this doesn’t foreshadow a whole line of Apple Hello Kitty computers in the future…

Sent in by crystal (and [...]