I received an anonymous email (not sure that opening them up will be such a good idea in the future) telling me I should show my wife the new Hello Kitty pierced belly button rings they have. My wife, of course, knew that it must be something wonderfully Hello Kitty the minute I let out a depressed moan at the site of them. She was by the computer side before I had a chance to delete the photo.
Now, don’t be fooled into thinking that my wife had come to her senses and didn’t want these. Oh, she wants them because “they are so adorable” and “wouldn’t any woman be cute and sexy wearing that?” But I actually heard the words “I won’t buy those…” (this is the point where I figured I was hallucinating and had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t in a dream) “until I lose some weight…”
Now as any married man knows, this put me in an impossible situation where I was either going to go deeper into Hello Kitty Hell or be sleeping on the couch the rest of the week. The “until I lose weight…” was followed by a long pause waiting for me to answer. I know from vast experience that “No dear, you look perfect.” was the correct answer, but that meant that I may have to look at a Hello Kitty navel ring for the rest of my life. On the other hand, “yes, good idea” meant I would have a lot of lonely nights ahead of me.
Faced with this choice, I did the only thing I could do. I remained silent like a deer frozen in headlights knowing I was doomed either way – which of course was no help because silence automatically gets moved toward the “yes” side.
So as I type this late at night with only the couch, a Hello Kitty pillow and a Hello Kitty blanket to look forward to for what I estimate will be a week, I do take a small bit of solace in the fact that I won’t have to see a Hello Kitty belly button ring…at least for this week…
Update: I was really hoping that I would never actually have to see someone wearing one of these…
Sent in by shelly
Sent in by Dede
Sent in by abigail (vegan kitty)