It Ain’t Going To Happen


Don’t even bother asking, it isn’t going to happen. All your pleading, whining, and crying have absolutely no effect on me because basically, I don’t care. In fact, it rather brings a smile to my face seeing Hello Kitty fanatics whine and plead for something they can’t find (kind of like Hello Kitty Hell in reverse and it almost seems poetic in justice – my wife, the ultimate Hello Kitty fanatic, doesn’t only bring Hello Kitty Hell on me, but also onto other Hello Kitty fanatics because they can’t find what they want). Maybe there is a higher being after all…

I live in Hello Kitty Hell so there is absolutely no way I am going to spend any of my time searching, looking or even telling you where you can find any of the Hello Kitty stuff my wife locates (I view this as a good samaritan service to all human beings across the world on my part so they don’t have to look at even more Hello Kitty – and especially to any significant others you may have. I bet they would even pay me for this service.)

Or maybe I should just put it in words that any Hello Kitty fanatic should be able to understand: Hello Kitty Hell has no mouth – you’ll simply have to find the answer with your heart ;)

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147 Responses to It Ain’t Going To Happen

  1. Mary says:

    Hahahaha! that’s all, if they want anything… they have eyes for looking it up!!

    lol, about three weeks ago, i had wanted to buy a freaky pen -just a pen but this time i wanted a really weird thing… so i bought i kuromi pen -yep, from hello kitty hell.

    …i had liked it, and i started looking hk’s stuff… now, about one week looking what kind of stuff are… i am pretty sick @_@ hell what’s up? no way!! i definitely want power and death metal stuff in my pencil case again!!!! -well…. that kuromi is metalhead.. whatvs, i am definitely not buying anythig over 10 dlls ¬¬ it’s a waste!
    better to save the money for a macbook ¬¬

    Very good site man, btw =)!
    Ps. you should love your wife a lot… I would have married an insane fanatic of kitty… but not holding for long!!

  2. =] says:

    its funny that i like hello kitty to a point but i love reading ur rants more ?

    wow hello kitty fans email n ask where u find that crap .
    they must of had a hello kitty high when the asked tisk tisk

    what r ur feelings on disney i think there r worse than hello kitty … hell the whole world is like this .. they get people to like something than they sale u anything will there pic. on it ..
    i think disney is worse thou cuz its kids saleing there souls for cheap bucks .. i cannt wait to see miley burnt out like brittany *sigh*

  3. jessica says:

    yeah i love your site!!! because you unearth rare hello kitty finds i would never think to find or imagine on my own. keep em comin! can you share pictures of your hello kitty hell? i want to see what exquisite taste and fancy decorating skills your wife has!

  4. Akita says:

    … you DO know there’s a banner ad for Hello Kitty merchandise appearing around here, right? :P

  5. DJ says:

    …dude. I am SO sorry – hang in there.

    what you do is in the name of JUSTICE

  6. amy says:

    y’know its a little sad that you run a website about something you hate – which is btw just highly available cuteness intended for young girls – and i’m guessin deep down inside you love it really ^_^ sanio rocks <3

  7. sj224 says:

    To all of the Hello Kitty fans who think this is some kind of store you need to get a life. In case you haven’t noticed the person who made this site didn’t make it for stupid people to whine, when there are hundreds of thousands of other websites that would be happy to service you. This is NOT for polite HK fans!

  8. i want hello kitty phone says:

    anyone know where I could buy the hello kitty iphone 3g??? thanks

  9. Mary says:

    Hahahahaha, make them suffer XD!!
    and honestly if they’re that interested they are perfectly able to look them up ._.!

  10. anti-HK's are retards says:

    well you an a-hole not sharing where to get these items!

    wow, that’s the Hello Kitty spirit

    What the Hell would you know about Hello kitty spirit?

  11. s says:

    I would like anyone who reads this to look extremely deep into their soul and find something about Hello Kitty that they like cuz she’s not out to rule the would! duhhhhhhhhhhh

  12. s says:

    ******THERE’S A STORE BASED AROUND PEOPLE WHO HATE HELLO KITTY*******

    if you hate hello kitty there’s a store full of stuff that’s extremely anti hello kitty. A few examples are the Hello Kitty knife holders, which feature 6 different sized knives thrust through Hello Kitty’s head and covered in painted-on blood. They also feature an HK game that features 20 pins and a dead Hello Kitty. You get a pixel screen, and each time you poke Hello Kitty she inches closer to death. All you need to do is the outskirts on the west side of Iraq and then ask to be gunned down with a Hello Kitty machine gun before you go in. Simple as that!

  13. Nicole says:

    What I love the most about these posts where you tell the hordes of dribbling Kitty fans to find their own goddamn pink plastic tinnif is this refrain:

    “But you can’t possibly really hate Kitty if you have a website devoted to her!!!”

    Now let’s say, for example, I was dating someone obsessed with, say, severed shrunken heads. Everything in our house was severed-head themed. We ate off plates with pictures of shrunken faces, our toilet paper was printed with sewn-shut lips, I was awoken every morning by a grinning corpse. And worse still, everyone else regarded it as a harmless, slightly over-the-top but adorable hobby. In desperation, I start a blog with pictures of the latest bit of stomach-wrenching horror, so that the (apparently) five or six people in the world who share my loathing for this stuff can find me and commiserate. And then hordes of people descend, saying:

    “But you can’t possibly hate shrunken heads if you write a blog about them!!!”

    Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think shrunken heads would be a significantly better fate than Hello Kitty.

  14. Liz says:

    GO HKH! Those desperate name-calling losers can find the stuff themselves.

  15. Eryn says:

    Okay while I am not a HK fanatic, I do find her cute, I love all things cat, and she is well a cat. I do not however own anything hello kitty, lol, what I wonder is why someone would put so much time and energy into a blog about something they hate?

    I mean really, its a freaking cat how horrible is that? I mean its not like cancer, or herpes, you can’t get rid of herpes. You can take a break from hello kitty, I understand the need to vent, but really? Your hatred of hello kitty is as bad as your wife’s supposed obsession, that well you created.

  16. Nicole says:

    AAAAAhahahaha.

    I was really beginning to regret leaving all these comments on Hello Kitty Hell, since I would then be forwarded the knuckle-dragging comments of subsequent visitors.

    Now, the comparison of Hello Kitty to herpes has made that all worthwhile.

    Before you marry, get your partner tested for Hello Kitty. People can be infected with Hello Kitty for years without ever showing any symptoms. To test, take a small Hello Kitty porcelain figure, and hand your parner a hammer. If she don’t hit that, you don’t hit that.

  17. Nicole says:

    It could be worse. You could have a daughter equally obsessed with HK. Hmm, or maybe, twin girls.. >:D
    Better be prepared to buy that HK house! ;D
    (Ohs, all the NICOLES!!)

  18. Pam says:

    Hahahaha, I love the posts where they beg and beg and you don’t give them info (specialy the converses’ one)… THEY TOTALLY DESERVE IT! And the senseless pleading for a damn over-hyped mascot makes me smile :P

  19. Sushi says:

    I’m a teenaged girl, and I love Japanese culture, but Hello Kitty is just nauseating…
    And don’t get me started on Hamtaro.
    I’m definitely linking my readers to your blog.
    ~Sushi

  20. yolanda says:

    ilovee hello kittyy,ur sitee makes mee lovee her more,thanks so muchh!;]

  21. M says:

    A comment from I hate u: “u know wat i hate u lam a hole u get on my d nerves and guess wat i found that flat screen so u cant hind thinks from the hate hah hah hah hah hah !!!! keep your secrets i dont need them and plus if u really hated hello kitty u would right a website about it sssooo that means u really looovvve hello kitty isn’t that rite u little hello kitty lover oh and if your wondering me and my 15 friends will find all your stuff have a good live a hole llovve the hate go head cry”

    Does anyone know where to get a HK Leap Frog Learning Tutor for this poor soul? Hooked on Phonics? Muzzy, perhaps?

  22. TEEHEE! says:

    Yarn, Whoa. What does it look like? Is it pink and white?

  23. Pwr9BlackLotus says:

    Also, for those TOBACCO smokers..there are glass spoon pieces sold on Etsy as well. One of which has Hello Kitty on the front and the other that has Keroppi on the front, both are detailed with flowers they look like they are about 4 1/2 inches each.

  24. Gemma says:

    Lol …. My bf has all my HK stuff in his room and copes well enough …. Wait till we move in together though… Im painting the whole house pink ad putting kitty stamp designs up everywhere :) !!!!!!! I have HK framed photos, beanie babies, underwear, t-shirts, baby clothes (I don’t even have any kids yet!), PJs, Jewellery, Jewellery boxes… You name it, i got it. The only things i don’t have are the appliances like the toaster and kettles i’ve seen around :(… There next on my list :)

  25. H Zwicker says:

    You are so screwed for the Olympics, eh? Vancouver is my country’s Chinatown – it totally rocks, great people lotsa Hello Kitty.

  26. Tsuki says:

    HAHAHAHA!!!!

    Suffer you damn hello kitty addicts!! >:D

    ME used to buy that PINKY STUPID stuff seldom indeed, but you know what!?!? Things are for being used, otherwise, there are useless!

    -Actually I have almost got off that hell! Finally I can waste my money in other things, and the best: LOTS of things, ‘coz if there is something that HK does is to made you waste TONS of money in stupid-useless-pinky stuff that you surely will NOT use!!

    YOU KNOW WHY!?? ‘coz you’re insane!

    Wanna know when you’re WRONG?
    Buy a damn stupid notebook of 10US [10 US! for COMMON paper!] and then: Oh no i don’t wanna use it D= I am gonna screw its beautiful drawings! :[ and I AM GONNA USE IT!

    O.Ó that's the only spirit you need!

    PS. Woah, this is a real geometric fluffy white kitty's son: "well you an a-hole…not sharing where to get these items!"

    Dear Hello Kitty Hell admin,
    :] Man, you DO work for a better world :D!! you do community service not sharing where to buy all that stuff, honestly :D! *clap, clap!*

    Beside, if they DO want it so much they would need to learn humility, Japanese and ‘how to use google advaced tools’.

  27. 2xHK says:

    HAHAHAHA…

    The amount of anger is quite weird! I guess all that cuddly pinkiness is to suppress or cover some Issues people have.

    Biggest jerk?? Maybe this Melissa doesn’t meet many people, or maybe she should check to rehab for HK-ness (there is also Tshirthell for people who enjoy being insulted)

    And what is with this OH NO!!! YOU DIDNT SHARE EXACT LINK! people, obviously a dire need to get their HK fix, as the original message does say it is on etsy – this is a website people, try putting ‘.com’ in the end, or yes, google, but perhaps the 20 sec this would make is unbearable in their state of cold turkey, or is this cold KITTY?

    Then again there are other forms of obsessive collecting fads, say star wars fans – this is what happens when the two meet, and who knows where it will end?
    http://www.faziarizvi.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/hellokittydarthvader.jpg

    *I own 2 items of HK stuff, not buying more, and I do wear the flipflops. The bag is in the closet, it almost came out but no…

  28. sammi says:

    I must as a GIANT hello kitty fantic, I absolutely agree with you. I don’t share ANYTHING Hello Kitty I find, so I agree with you. As for the babys who cry about it, if you really LOVED hello kitty then you’d search for it, honestly it’s not really that hard. I love your site, and it humored me when I find it because my finece always says my house is hello kitty hell. props to you. love you site(:

  29. YouSuck says:

    WTF is with all the hello kitty fanatics – find your own hello kitty blog, this is for those agains it, morons!

    PS: The cat must die!

  30. Alejandra says:

    “The cat must die”?!
    she’s an animation, she can’t die!
    boy, are you smart.

    anywho… biggest hello kitty fan ever!!!! (:

  31. Mimi says:

    i find it hillarious that so many people ask you where to find the stuff, when a simple google search always suffices for me.

    now, i’m a HK fan myself, but seriously?
    letting a cartoon character control your life is just madness.

  32. cueball says:

    WELL WELL I FOUND A WEBSITE FROM TOKYO THAT HAS ALL THOSE PRODUCTS FROM HELLO KITTY AND MORE SO THANKS BUT NO THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Laila says:

    I want to meet your wife!!

    I have a question for you…did you marry her KNOWING her obsession with Hello Kitty? because i need some hope~! LOL. i wont marry a guy unless he accepts it.

  34. alejandra says:

    okayy so i read all the info u got & im christian im 17 years old and my mom is very strict about devil like things and she heard hellokitty is satanic?
    as much as i like hello kitty erything seems to link to being like that. it sux because shes so cute but with such a big thing behind it!!!!!
    the worldd keeps getting worse everday and they sneak it in wit the cutest things!

    • ILoveLuckyCharms says:

      Your mom’s wrong. Hello Kitty isn’t Satanic—Christian fanatics think EVERYTHING is Satanic. Hello Kitty’s just a cartoon character. Tell your mom to get a grip.

  35. Shauna says:

    Does anyone know where I can find Hello Kitty dressed like the ghostbusters and the stay puft man? I’ve seen pics so I know they are somewhere. I would love to have them because my husban is a huge ghostbuster fan.

  36. ceeee says:

    then why bother puttin this on the net if ur not gonna say where ppl can find em…thats dumb

  37. Chessie says:

    ““The cat must die”?!
    she’s an animation, she can’t die!
    boy, are you smart.” Alejandra – Comment 131

    Wow, you’re the smart one. Animated characters can die, or is your head so far up your fluffy, Hello Kitty tailed arse that you neglected to acknowledge the existence of, oh, I don’t know, the Disney corporation? You know, Mufasa died, Tarzan’s mom died, Kocoum from Pocohantas… So, oooh, lookie there, animated characters died. Who’d have thunk it huh?

    Not here to bash HK (I hate her but whatever) but why would you want to advertise the fact you like the mouthless moron? Unless of course you people have an affinity with her, what with having no grasp of spelling or grammatical rules. Why is it that 90% of the freaks, I’m sorry, fanatics, have the IQ of a howler monkey? That is to say, they sure can shout loud, but are they really saying anything more than WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

    Apologies to the polite HK fans, you guys are pretty alright. Like, not batshit scary insane deathwishers ;]

  38. Courtney Pujol says:

    If Hello Kitty fandom makes you so mad, then why would you marry a Hello Kitty fan? I think you like be miserable so it will give you something to complain about on the internet. Your cynicism makes me sad for you and your wife that her happiness about her interests cannot make you happy. You don’t have to love Hello Kitty, but how does your wife feel knowing that you have such disdain for what she loves? This does not only apply to you situation of course. A woman who has no interest in cars and would make her husband sell his sports car should not marry a man whose one true passion is cars.

  39. NAOBunni says:

    i actually love the guy that has this site, free speech HKhatin’ it’s all good man. I certainly can’t help myself but love the craziness of this site – and the great things that i can show my husband that I want …. within reason that is. thanks for making my day every day – and for letting me your fan on FB

  40. Wa-loli Doll says:

    I do like Hello Kitty, but it’s amazing how far some people will go in their obsession. It’s almost like a train wreck, you can’t look away.

  41. Emily The Fierce says:

    This is probably the most fantastic website I’ve ever found. I offer my deep sympathies for your predicament. Endeavor to persevere!

    Cheers,
    -Emily

  42. Summer says:

    Can I just ask all the hello kitty whiners what is so dang hard about typing into google search whatever over priced hello kitty item you want? I found the usb hello kitty aquarium in 5 seconds literally. I was expecting it to be difficult to find or something but no it’s really not. Stop being lazy.

    Also to the writer of this blog a little good news I thought you might enjoy. There is a sanrio store in the downtown mall of San Diego. It used to be this huge store front at least 2000 sq feet. It has recently been reduced in size by at least 1200 square feet and I just had to ask the manager why they had reduced the size of the store since it had been an enormous monstrosity for as long as I could remember (10 or more years). She told me that their sales are down so much that they just couldn’t afford to pay the rent on the huge store front anymore. There is hope!

    -Summer

  43. Nikki C says:

    I gotta say. I do enjoy the occasional HK thing but really enjoy this blog and looking at all the craziness that is on here! When obsession turns to insanity!

  44. Kiera says:

    Oh yeah, I liked HK too once… when I was about 4 or 5. Jeez, the guy’s in hell as it is, so why on earth would he be willing to tell you crazies where/how to feed your HK obsession?

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