Hello Kitty Douche

Because there is absolutely nothing that the evil feline won’t Hello Kittify (and some things that are just too “wtf” for anyone but the people at Sanrio to think of), may I introduce you to the Hello Kitty douche:

Hello Kitty douche

There are not many Hello Kitty products that leave me speechless, but this is one of them. Seriously, what else really is there to say?

From Laisa in the comments who gets a pass just because there aren’t many Hello Kitty products that can leave someone living in Hello Kitty Hell with nothing to say…

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44 Responses to Hello Kitty Douche

  1. Absinth says:

    It’s really hard to comment i give you that… a douche? I bet it adds sweetness and love to the water so that you come out of your shower completely refreshed and full of HK love :) lol
    What’s next? I dred to imagine :P

  2. Georg says:

    Hey, it’s aproduct your wife will never make you use! Rejoice!

  3. darlene says:

    It’s a perfect Hello Kitty product as it helps clean and refresh a woman – exactly what Hello Kitty does best. You are just being closed minded because you’re a guy and squirm at any mention of a product that deals with that part of a women like most men do.

    If you’d grow up a little, stop bad mouthing Hello Kitty every chance you get and just enjoy all the happiness you could be getting from her, you wouldn’t be such a petty individual and have a much happier life. Have you ever thought about that?

  4. Carol says:


    Between the blog, and Darlene’s comment that “clean and refresh a woman” is “exactly what Hello Kitty does best”, I’ve spit coffee all over my monitor! Cheers!!

  5. TeratoMarty says:

    Absinth, it’s worse than that. In American English, a “douche” is not a shower bath. It’s a device and the associated liquid for rinsing out the vagina. Given the instructional illustration on the back, I think that’s the meaning in use here.

    As a mostly-gay bisexual man, I can’t claim to be an authority on vaginas, but the few I’ve encountered were lovely enough not to need any HK embellishments. Also, I seem to remember the school nurse telling us in health ed that putting a load of perfumed chemicals up the vagina was harmful to that delicate organ. I would encourage any woman of my acquaintance to avoid Hello Kittifying the hoo-ha, too.

    This advice does not apply to Darlene, who I doubt has a vagina. It’s not that I think she’s a man, I just think that she’s as featureless “down there” as a Barbie doll.

  6. m says:

    LMAO This is way too much!

  7. jennster says:

    douche is not safe. period. it can cause severe pelvis infections. just the kind of “love” hello kitty likes to spread.

    btw, i was in the sanrio store here the other day, as my daughter (3 years old) lost her beloved stuffed HK. the lady there told me some hysterical. if you take the words “hello kitty” and re-arrange them, you can spell “kill the toy”

  8. TeratoMarty says:

    I am Hello Catty today.

  9. LadyXS says:

    TeratoMarty: ”This advice does not apply to Darlene, who I doubt has a vagina. It’s not that I think she’s a man, I just think that she’s as featureless “down there” as a Barbie doll.” lolllll loved your comment xD

  10. Wendyscat says:

    Jennster – great anagram!
    TerataoMarty – you go! How is this unnecessary liquid interference acceptable when using the massager in more creative ways isn’t!
    Darlene must be under the employ of Sanrio to read this blog.
    Maybe there’s a combo deal with the undies.
    ‘full of HK love’ – let’s not think about it..!

  11. Just when I thought I had seen it all. That it was impossible for Sanrio to make my jaw drop- this comes out.

    I am truly stunned.

  12. jen-chan says:

    god darlene do you not have a life? you know what i do when i see something on the web/tv/real life? I IGNORE IT AND MOVE ON!!! i suggest you do the same.

    …although 13 year old girls probably dont have anything better to do.

  13. I wonder if there is one product, one item among the hundreds, that even Darlene thinks is a mistake?

  14. Laisa says:

    I wonder if I can find anything worse.

  15. Kitteh!! says:


    After that anagram I just couldn’t help myself! My day just got waaay better! :-)

  16. La Chatte says:

    I love HK but not THIS MUCH! Well, i don’t douche anyway… it’s bad for vaginas! TeratoMarty, you rule! I’ll bet anyone $10.00 sanrio is going to come out with HK tampons. eww, i’m gross.

  17. LadyXS says:

    DJ Psychomike: I think she is too obsessed to think that anything Sanrio is wrong. Even if they now anounced that this douche was bad to your health and that they were going to remove it, I’m sure darlene would still think it’s marvelous xD

  18. Absinth says:

    TeratoMarty: Thanks for making me see the true nature of this thing :P now that I know what a douche is I dislike it even further.
    Why does HK have to be a part of intimat hygiene? La Chatte is right… blergh!

  19. Hannah (21-cause I know there's a younger one around here somewhere . . .) says:

    “You are just being closed minded because you’re a guy and squirm at any mention of a product that deals with that part of a women like most men do.”

    Last I checked guys don’t generally squirm at that part of a woman! ; D

    And yeah they’re really not very good for you. Mainly because of the chemicals they put in them. It throws the pH balance (yes, like your pool lol) off and can cause infection among other things.

    And Hello Kitty is not coming anywhere near my vagina thank you very much. It seems she just likes chicks crotches.

    . . .
    Does that make Hello Kitty gay?

  20. Hello Kitty the lesbian? Well, if she had a vibrator out too maybe- HEY! She does!

    Oh no, we just gave Sanrio a new market.

    Sorry lesbians!

  21. Wendyscat says:

    HK and same sex relatioships! Hm!!
    WOULD it be a new market, I mean WHO is this stuff aimed at anyway?

  22. siimuk says:

    Thats just bizzare!

  23. Alfred says:

    I love pussy! <3

  24. Pingback: Secret Japan - Hello Kitty Douche!

  25. Pingback: Nothing Says Douche, Like Hello Kitty - AsianForum.Eu - Asian Forum Europe

  26. Em says:

    Isn’t Hello Kitty for children? So why would someone 1) make a douche out of a child’s icon and 2) defend or use such a thing?

  27. Miss Yoshie says:

    bc hello killy is japanese? everything there is geared towards kids… even male lustings, as the age of whatchacallit… consent! is 12

  28. Demon Kitty says:

    I have never, ever, ever, laughed so hard in my life. The heading, “Hello Kitty Health” just made me scream!!!!!!

    A Hello Kitty Douche! Damn!!!!! The comments are making me pee in my pants too! I wonder if they have Hello Kitty Depends???

  29. Am I the only person who pictures this thing screaming “HEEEEELLLOOOO PUSSY!” Seriously, wtf is Sanrio thinking?

  30. Pingback: Hello Kitty Deodorant - Hello Kitty Hell

  31. SpiralArchitect says:

    The next big thing will be a HK testicle scratcher or… HK BDSM kit! The Hello Kitty AR15 rifle shows that kind of hilarious “love” that feline is spreading around.

  32. Vip3rousmango says:

    Wow, I didn’t even know that Hello Kitty makes douches.. Got to hand it to the Japanese and their chind?gu (google it, it’s why they make products like this).

    Then again.. douching isn’t recommended for women since you gals have a lot of important bacteria that needs to be there in order for everything to work smoothy.. clean/remove that bacteria and you get… INFECTED, along with the other side effects mentioned above.

    I’m waiting for the HK anti-personal explosive :) that’d sell like hotcakes!

  33. Lenore says:

    I didn’t take the time to read through the posts, but in case it hasn’t come up… Sanrio makes a Hello Kitty vibrator. much fun are have in your tingle spot.
    Seriously, I bought one. Very cute, but didn’t last long. I still have the cute packaging though.

  34. Re says:

    what in the damned hell was Sanario smoking when they said this was a good idea?!?!?!
    and this is coming from a hello kitty fan… (i’m wearing a hello kitty hoodie right now :D … )

  35. Ninjakitten says:

    TeratoMarty: “I am Hello Catty today.”

    You’re kinda awesome, TeratoMarty. ;)

  36. rectum rash says:

    hello kitty douches are for the vagina? i thought it was for the ass, you learn something every day

  37. Nicole says:

    The idea of someone putting Hello Kitty in my vag.. is incredibly disturbing on so many levels. That is a spot that Hello Kitty was never, ever meant to be.. just like the many other things she’s on.

  38. _julz says:

    Wow, Sanrio really knows their target market.

  39. Alina says:


  40. Savannah says:

    Someone’s a Hello Kitty douche bag :inserttheawesomesmileyhere:
    And I mean that gay Kitty.
    Sadly, I too, am in Hello Kitty Hell, because I have a big sister D:

  41. PandaLover says:

    What the…FRENCH TOAST!?

  42. Layla says:

    Um, yeah. Hello Kitty feminine hygiene products…this is so not right. Besides Darlene, who the hell would buy this? I would not trust anything with a big psycho looking cat on it to clean my jay-jay. Ya know?

  43. Caitlin says:

    i bet Wal Mart has it.
    the same isle as
    the dora the explorer
    yeast infection treatment

  44. Darki says:

    Whats next? HK nose spray? LMAO!

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