Hello Kitty Hell

The deluge of Hello Kitty tattoos into my email box continues unabated (it makes one seriously pause to consider how bad things have become in the world when hundreds of people are not only going under the ink gun to have the evil feline become a part of them, but then think it’s a good [...]

Due to Hello Kitty’s never ending quest to be a part of anything popular even if it has absolutely nothing to do with Hello Kitty, somewhere, for some unknown reason, somebody got the idea that creating Hello Kitty Monopoly would be a good idea:

Once again proving that there is absolutely no place that Hello Kitty won’t go to make a buck, the evil feline now wants to be a part of the world of moe fans with the official Sanrio approved creation of bishoujo (beautiful young girl) anime:

Now that My wife has her eyes firmly set on getting the Hello Kitty Wii dance pad, I know from Hello Kitty Hell experience that it isn’t going to stop there. That means in all likelihood, she will also be adding the Hello Kitty Wii balance board bag and yoga pad to her collection:

Once again showing that she can’t keep her claws off of anything that is remotely popular, Hello Kitty seems to have set her sights on the Nintendo Wii gaming system. The people at Sanrio know that there is absolutely no way that any Hello Kitty fanatic will be able to resist the Hello Kitty Wii [...]

I try to avoid showing any Hello Kitty food to my wife because when photos of it end up in my email, three incredibly tortuous things happen. It goes without saying that I have to hear about how cute the Hello Kitty food item is for the next week. During that time I’m under constant [...]

The never ending problem with Hello Kitty is that Sanrio and fanatics have learned that everyone has a price and therefore anything can be Hello Kittified. Want someone to make you a Hello Kitty beer stein for your Hello Kitty beer? Unfortunately, this is not a problem:

Clowns are kind of freaky and Hello Kitty is most definitely freaky, so when you combine the two together you pretty much have the perfect Stephen King horror movie prop:

It used to be that Hello Kitty Star Wars stuff was photoshopped, but apparently — for some unfathomable reason — the people at ComicCon in San Diego thought that bringing Star Wars and Hello Kitty together for real would be a good idea. The result? Hello Kitty revealing her true identity under a pink stormtrooper [...]

Obviously, once the Hello Kitty Captain Kirk was created, it wasn’t going to stop there. The logical next step was a Hello Kitty Spock:

It was bound to happen. With the large number of Hello Kitty Star Wars crap out there, you knew it would be only a matter of time before the evil feline started to invade Star Trek as well. The initial warning shot fired was the Hello Kitty Klingon, so it should be of no surprise [...]

I’m never sure what to do with all the Hello Kitty tattoos that are sent to me because I get so many these days I could probably create a blog just about Hello Kitty tattoos (now there’s a scary thought). The fact that one person feels that it’s a good idea to stain their skin [...]

If you are ever involved with someone that insists that you paint your house Pepto Bismol pink, that is a sign that you should seriously consider getting out of the relationship. If they then take it a step further and put a Hello Kitty on the garage door with a sparkly heart underneath (and Mickey [...]

How do dogs get back at Hello Kitty for all the evilness that she brings into their lives? Yoshi, a miniature schnauzer, took matters into his own paws and decided that a little alternative sexual entertainment with a sleeping Hello Kitty plush was in order:

It’s nice to know that there are others out there that know the true fear that Hello Kitty should install in all of us. If you were to create the scariest dungeon imaginable, it would be a lot easier than most people imagine — simply fill it with Hello Kitty. The Simpsons agree with me:

Some random Hello Kitty emails that ended up in my mailbox…
Dear Mr. HKH,
I recently came across your blog on CakeWrecks. At first I was shaking my head, thinking what a poor dear you are, putting up with all the Hello Kitty crap your obviously brainwashed wife brings into your life. And then, as I read [...]

While there are a lot of things in life that defy logic, there seems to be a disproportionate number of things Hello Kitty that can make this claim. That’s definitely the truth when it comes to Hello Kitty nipple tassels:

The thing that is so annoying with Hello Kitty fanatics is that they take things too literally. Most people who buy makeup use it as it is supposed to be used. Not Hello Kitty fanatics. When a Hello Kitty fanatic buys Hello Kitty makeup, they think that they are actually supposed to draw a Hello [...]

I was hoping that I would not have to post this and that it would eventually fade from memory, but readers insist on continually sending me photos of this hideous Hello Kitty corset worn by Katy Perry as part of the MAC make-up collection. Considering what MAC did with their Hello Kitty MAC video and [...]

I’m not sure what the appeal is to Hello Kitty scarification (one – two and three — then again, I have no idea what the appeal of Hello Kitty is…) other than Hello Kitty fanatics wanting to manufacture real pain in addition to the mental anguish that the evil feline brings to their lives. There [...]