Hello Kitty Taser Gun

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

Because nothing shows the true cuteness and sweet side of Hello Kitty — and the love and happiness she brings to all — as 50,000 volts of electricity streaming through your body:

hello-kitty-taser

Of course, the existence of a Hello Kitty taser gun shouldn’t come as a surprise at all considering all the Hello Kitty guns already out there. And if the Hello Kitty taser were used properly (as in Hello Kitty fanatics self-tasering themselves every time the thought of purchasing something Hello Kitty entered their mind), it really could be a benefit for society. Alas, I fear that if my wife ever gets one of these, the only use for it will come right before I get sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag. The fact that Hello Kitty Hell can always get worse is once again shown to be true…

Sent in by Chrissey who should use this device on herself multiple times as punishment for thinking that sending it to me could ever be a good idea.

45 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Taser Gun

  1. I get first post? cool.

    Think we can raid Sanrio and use these on them repeatedly until their nervous systems give up?

  2. Another photoshopped product, perhaps you wife need to use a taser on you, think of it as home shock therapy.

    Another “Feminine protection” product?

  3. well it has an advantage of surprise. you pull this out the guy is like”what ? are you kidding? bwahahahaaaaaaaack!”

  4. Well… *sighs*

    Hello kitty isn’t that sweet anymore is it? Even putting pink on the taser gun doesn’t help. Though many 13 year old girls need Taser guns, don’t they?

    I’d buy it, if I was going to get killed by a pedophile. It would be helpful in the escape of a kidnapping too. :D

  5. I did a Google search for “Hello Kitty Taser Gun” to find out if this is a real product or a keen Photoshop job, as claimed by Acton. While I did get quite a few page hits on this product, they ALL apear to link back to Hello Kitty Hell as the source article. I also did a search on the Sanrio official online store and it turned up zero results for the product. Lastly, if you take look at this link
    http://www.mspink.net/2008/02/27/pink-self-defense-pretty-in-pink-stun-guns/
    You’ll see a taser gun exactly like the one pictured in this post, minus (of course) the Hello Kitty Logo. My conclusion: this is a very entertaining photoshop job indeed. :)

  6. Pingback: TASER® Blog » In Regards to that Hello Kitty TASER C2
  7. Well if you can buy the pink tazer all that is required for the inventive hello kitty nut is some stickers and maybe some glitter and jewels

  8. No feathers? But they’ll give that piquant tickling sensation as your entire nervous system is fried from the inside. :D

  9. So what you’re saying is that you are against women protecting themselves? Hello Kitty protects women so this is a perfect product that is cute and useful. Hello Kitty allows us to feel safe and secure while being fashionable. The one that should be tasered is you for always distorting what Hello Kitty is all about.

  10. A girl’s gotta protect herself ;) And it’s real. They sold them in the bazaars in Thailand. I’m not sure if they’re genuinely from Sanrio, but they do exist.

  11. “Hello Kitty allows women to feel safe and secure, while being fashionable”?? Fashionable?I can’t even type this without laughing!

    What a warm and fuzzy world it must be if all we need is Hello Kitty to protect us!! (she typed, trying to catch her breath –whooo–hhaaaa–good times)

  12. man. if i WAS ever going to buy something that was Hello Kitty. It would be a taser gun. For the pure irony of it all. Too bad it doesn’t exist.

    and Darlene. I’m just curious as to what HK is all about? Where I’m from, tasers kill people.

  13. like wtf darlene that is just wrong
    Basically Your Saying Tazers Are Good lol that makes sense
    maybe you should get back to your cage

  14. Honestly I prefer things like chococat or my melody to hello kitty… she doesn’t have a mouth… it’s creepy. but, the tazer thing is awesome. i think policemen should start carrying these… and maybe hello kitty uniforms… maybe it would improve their image.. :3

  15. There are a number of lipstick style tasers being marketed to women as self defense devices. You can’t get 50,000 volts out of a 9 volt battery. Do the math.
    They are so weak that they are only effective in ratcheting up the violence.
    Dear Darlene,
    It is about marketing and only about marketing. Your safety is of no interest beyond the fact that your fear for your safety will prompt you to purchase a useless product.

  16. this would be good at fooling a mugger >:)

    mugger:hand over your money!

    me:*takes out taser*

    mugger:you’re gonna use THAT? HAHHAHAHAHAHA BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

  17. I am looking for a taser, as I am a woman, I walk alone at night sometimes and I’ve already been mugged once. looking at his just brought a smile to my face. What could be better than tazing a mugger or worse when they try to atack you? tase them with hello kitty of course!

    I have to get me one of these

  18. this I kinna see the point. whoever mug you probably won’t ever think this pink thing is a taser. Element of surprise baby.

    and I agree with mi, the irony of the situation if you taze a robber/rapist with this…oh man

  19. I think what Darlene is trying to say in some sort of intelligent way, is that it’s important to be stylish and cute while zapping the beejeesuz out of people. Besides, what if some jerk does try to steal your HK money out of your HK wallet out of your HK Ghetto booty jeans????

    Oh, wait. How many women keep their wallets in their jeans??
    And how many guys like the HK stuff here?

  20. How can I get the Hello Kitty Fairy to bring me this for my birthday?????

    I wish I wish I wish for a cute pink HK taser gun to bring me hours and house of happyness (By Zapping evil thugs)

  21. I am very interested im finding out how to optain one of these “Hello Kitty Taser Guns” Just moved to NY and have been looking to purchase some kind of protection, this would be perfect…

  22. if this were real i’d want one! although my husband would probably take it away because i’m a clutz and would probably taze myself….oh well a woman can dream

  23. AAAAAGH – does no one read the whole page?
    It specifically states that they are PARODY.

    Not to say that cartooned guns do not exist, but this one is a joke.

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