Hello Kitty Hell

So, apparently my mom read my post about the free Hello Kitty shoulder massager and followed the link explaining what the alternative use for it is. To her credit, when I talked to her on the phone, I didn’t get the reaction of disgust and lecture about the sexual promiscuity of the younger generation that I expected. No, the reaction was far, far worse…

Instead, mom had a hint of curiosity in her voice as she started asking me subtle questions about the use of the device. While there are a lot of awkward conversations in life that I would never wish upon another human being, trying to have a conversation with your mother about a Hello Kitty vibrator (while still not actually admitting what you are talking about) most definitely ranks well near the top. And then things really got bad…

Through the conversation it became apparent that my mom’s curiosity stemmed from the fact that besides the black Hello Kitty shoulder massager, there was also a pink Hello Kitty vibrator that arrived in the package.

That’s when it happened. The lights clicked on and I realised why my mom was so curious. (warning – this would be a good time to stop reading this article and make sure that you are in no state to do any type of imagining. If you are, the results will not be pretty).

While there are a lot of horrifying images that you can conjure up in your mind during your lifetime, I guarantee that the image of your mom using a pink Hello Kitty vibrator is one that has the potential to scar you mentally for life. I know because I went there and it’s a place I never want to go to again. I have tried to lock that thought into the deep recesses of my mind where I hope it will never be able to escape.

Not wanting to have to spend the rest of my days knowing that my mom was using the evil feline in ways that were never intended for sons to ever have to think about, I quickly explained that the pink Hello Kitty shoulder massager was also going to be immediately given away.

If you are interested in the pink should massager, simply follow Hello Kitty Hell on Twitter and make an original and interesting tweet which includes both of the following:

@hellokittyhell (so I know you make the tweet) and

http://bit.ly/4zTnZ7 (the link to this post)

I will have a random number generated for the tweets left on twitter. The person’s comment that matches the number will receive the Hello Kitty shoulder massager, which will be sent out by my parents. While I still hope that it goes to someone that dislikes the evil feline and that person takes the time to record its demise, the number one priority is that it does not end up in my wife’s collection or my mom’s dresser drawer.

The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Tuesday November 10th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world except at my parents’ address in the US or my address in Japan.

Update: This contest is now over.

Congratulations to rnrollgirl for creating the 68th tweet.