Free Hello Kitty Vibrator
So, apparently my mom read my post about the free Hello Kitty shoulder massager and followed the link explaining what the alternative use for it is. To her credit, when I talked to her on the phone, I didn’t get the reaction of disgust and lecture about the sexual promiscuity of the younger generation that I expected. No, the reaction was far, far worse…
Instead, mom had a hint of curiosity in her voice as she started asking me subtle questions about the use of the device. While there are a lot of awkward conversations in life that I would never wish upon another human being, trying to have a conversation with your mother about a Hello Kitty vibrator (while still not actually admitting what you are talking about) most definitely ranks well near the top. And then things really got bad…
Through the conversation it became apparent that my mom’s curiosity stemmed from the fact that besides the black Hello Kitty shoulder massager, there was also a pink Hello Kitty vibrator that arrived in the package.
That’s when it happened. The lights clicked on and I realised why my mom was so curious. (warning – this would be a good time to stop reading this article and make sure that you are in no state to do any type of imagining. If you are, the results will not be pretty).
While there are a lot of horrifying images that you can conjure up in your mind during your lifetime, I guarantee that the image of your mom using a pink Hello Kitty vibrator is one that has the potential to scar you mentally for life. I know because I went there and it’s a place I never want to go to again. I have tried to lock that thought into the deep recesses of my mind where I hope it will never be able to escape.
Not wanting to have to spend the rest of my days knowing that my mom was using the evil feline in ways that were never intended for sons to ever have to think about, I quickly explained that the pink Hello Kitty shoulder massager was also going to be immediately given away.
If you are interested in the pink shoulder massager, simply follow Hello Kitty Hell on Twitter and make an original and interesting tweet which includes both of the following:
@hellokittyhell (so I know you make the tweet) and
http://bit.ly/4zTnZ7 (the link to this post)
I will have a random number generated for the tweets left on twitter. The person’s comment that matches the number will receive the Hello Kitty shoulder massager, which will be sent out by my parents. While I still hope that it goes to someone that dislikes the evil feline and that person takes the time to record its demise, the number one priority is that it does not end up in my wife’s collection or my mom’s dresser drawer.
The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Tuesday November 10th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world except at my parents’ address in the US or my address in Japan.
Update: This contest is now over.
Congratulations to rnrollgirl for creating the 68th tweet.
Posted: November 8th, 2009 under Hello Kitty Free Crap.
Comments: 28
Oh, I love this blog so.
Thanks HKH! Game on!
I hope I WINE!!!! Give it to me!!!!
OK my family is asleep and have the giggles over this blog! This is a classic one and I want to nominate it for the best of!! I would love to have your Moms address to send her some lol!!!
I would like to be put in but I detest twitter as much as most social networking.
my tweets are private, so you wouldn’t be able to see my entry. Bummer
I want one!
O..O LMAOO
Pure awesome.
Yeah, I wish Twitter wasn’t involved. I understand that maybe you want fans of the blog to also follow you on Twitter and Facebook, but it would have been nice to just comment on here where I wouldn’t have to register on a site I don’t want to use.
I would love to enter the contest but there is no way i am ever using a site as stupid as twitter. Ughs.
@ Naomi hopes she “wines”! And she does!
Haha
Love this blog! i hope you received my tweet
“Twitter” starts with “Twit”; enough said IMO.
I still think that asking to have your Dad trash the toaster with a sledgehammer and video the trashing should have been the winning entry!
Who won??? I hope it was me :3
I want it. & I promise, no misuse. Shoulder massager ONLY!
I love it!! I need one!!hahahahha
I want it!!!!!!! Please!!
ooh this will creat miracles! especially becausee this is my fav websitee
I wonder how fast my dog would destroy this XD
I’ll enter with the hope of finding out!
@ Gail Ha ha I meant “WIN!!!” LOL
I have this vibrator!
Surely this post should be titled “Hello Clitty”?!!
Whoever made this should go to hell.
i want this!!!!
HAHAHAHA HELLO CLITTY.
Mel, you are a GENIUS.
i agree with lilly
Hey– on you tube there is actually a video of a HELLO KITTY HOTEL (not a suite,mind you, but a WHOLE hotel) that he and his wife spent their honeymoon in. is it good to piss in a hello kitty toilet wipe your butt with kitty t.p then ..ach make it stop!!!
Now I’m imagining my grandmother using one. I will never be able to forget that. Anyway, I bet Darlene would love one, but she probably already has five.