Hello Kitty Hell

The evil feline knows how to make a generation of real skateboarders want to purposely road rash themselves to death. When Hello Kitty gets the endorsement of Hilary Duff for skateboarding, skateboarders can roll their eyes knowing that their sport is safe and has nothing to worry about. When Mike Carroll creates Hello Kitty skateboard [...]

I guess when you play competitive games, you have to sometimes sacrifice your dignity in order to win. That can be the only explanation for the Hello Kitty paintball gun. There is no doubt that upon seeing it, any opponent will be instantaneously frozen with both fear and disgust leaving him/her to be a sitting [...]

My wife loves to head to the mountains in winter because she has this horrendous Hello Kitty snowboard set-up (she doesn’t actually snowboard much, but she sure does enjoy sitting at the bar in her Hello Kitty outfit), but she has never really wanted to ski. Of course, that was until the evil feline introduced [...]

In my ignorance (helped along by a few beers of the non Hello Kitty persuasion), I mentioned to my wife that I thought it would be fun to get a skateboard. If I had been a bit more sober, I would have known before the words came out of my mouth that Hello Kitty would [...]

When it comes to the fanatics of the evil feline, price is rarely a consideration. Take for example, this Hello Kitty longboard surfboard (not to be mistaken for the Hello Kitty surfboard). You could get basically the same effect by sticking a bunch of Hello Kitty stickers on the board for a few bucks, but [...]

When rock climbing, putting your life in the hands of the evil feline’s bow is a pretty good way to assure you’ll end up under a Hello Kitty tombstone. Of course, you know that since Hello Kitty is making these, it’s only a matter of time before they are offering a full size Hello Kitty [...]

More and more people are coming to the realization that if you really want to both punish and humiliate someone, simply force them to wear Hello Kitty. This worked wonders for the Thai police who tagged under-performing officers with a Hello Kitty armband of shame. It appears that major league baseball players have adopted [...]

Well, I guess I can always dream:

I think it would have been more appropriate if she had been hunted down with a Hello Kitty shotgun, but then again, who am I to nitpick…
Sent in by Aein (via commercial archive) who deserves a beer on me if we should ever meet for bringing a smile to [...]

When I mentioned awhile ago that the announcement of Hello Kitty Wold Order pro wresting was a sure sign the apocalypse was now upon us, little did I realize what an understatement that would be as these photos will show:

A sure sign that the apocalypse is upon us…The Kitty World Order:

You would think that Hello Kitty would realize that there are some areas where she just doesn’t belong, but the evil feline and her throng of fanatics are oblivious to this fact. Thus, you have creations such as the Hello Kitty Thai boxing shorts:

I think that it suffices to simply say that there is something [...]

There are far too many readers of this blog that have way too much time on their hands if the amount of people who sent me photos of the Hello Kitty AR-15 assault rifle (which I mentioned previously) is any indication. Apparently a lot of people thought it was a photoshop job, so to prove [...]

Yes, we already know that Hello Kitty has a things for guns including AK47s and Armoured Personnel Carriers so it’s really no surprise that she would come out with another assault rifle:

On the surface, a Hello Kitty gun just seems wrong (but then again, anything Hello Kitty could fit that description). But with a little [...]

There are a lot of Hello Kitty items that are unfathomably useless such as this and this (Hello Kitty items come in three different categories: useless, completely useless or unfathomably useless). We can now add another one to the unfathomably useless category. Let me introduce you to the Hello Kitty golf ball holder:

Can anyone explain [...]

I should know by now that there is no such thing as a normal conversation when you live in Hello Kitty Hell. If the conversation has anything to do with something that might be needed, I will find it at our doorstep a week later in all its Hello Kittiness. That is how the Hello [...]

If you ever had any doubt that Hello Kitty wants it all, this should help put it to rest. Not satisfied to been the queen of cuteness, Hello Kitty also wants to be sexy. What other explanation can be found for this Hello Kitty Zent race queen plush:

What exactly is Zent you ask? It’s a [...]

I should have learned by now to keep my mouth shut about what I’m thinking about getting something, because no matter how unlikely it would seem that they would make it in Hello Kitty style, they undoubtedly will and my wife will get it for me. Like Hello Kitty darts:

Every once in awhile, as a [...]

One of the worst aspects of living with a Hello Kitty fanatic is that you never know what Hello Kitty items are going to end up in your stuff. This is bad enough when you catch the fact before it has a chance to unexpectedly surprise you, but there are times when the addition goes [...]

One of the worst things about blogging about Hello Kitty Hell is that as soon as I put something up, I start receiving emails with photos attached for other things that my wife will want associated with whatever was just posted. I’ve already explained that my wife doesn’t bowl, so why would she need Hello [...]

I’ve mentioned numerous times before that even though my wife doesn’t play the instrument or the sport, that doesn’t stop her from wanting the Hello Kitty item involved. Her latest lust is for the Hello Kitty bowling ball:

Of course, with Hello Kitty it isn’t as simple as that. You might assume that one Hello Kitty [...]