One mans hell with cute overload
I knew this was coming. I secretly prayed that it wouldn’t, but the mere fact that the evil feline exists pretty much proves that there is no God. It has become an annual torture fest beginning with Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkins landing in my email, then eventually a Hello Kitty Halloween costume ending up there as well. Although I had tried to mentally prepare myself for horror that would undoubtedly appear, I had no idea what an utterly frightening mess it would be. Judge for yourself:
It’s bad enough that Hello Kitty puts herself all over typical Halloween themes like Hello Kitty pumpkins and Hello Kitty costumes. It’s a stretch when the evil feline starts appearing on Halloween cupcakes and Halloween cookies. You know that there’s absolutely no boundaries when she shows up on a Halloween car, Halloween finger nails and in a Hello Kitty Halloween obento:
One of the things that I fear most about posting Hello Kitty crap is that it will lead to more Hello Kitty crap in my email. A perfect example is when I posted the Hello Kitty shooting target on Facebook. Christine then offhandedly asked the question, “For those who don’t have access to guns, how about a Hello Kitty dartboard?” Guess what ended up in my mailbox a few days later? Was there any doubt that it was a Hello Kitty dartboard?
I guess I should have expected it. If there are Hello Kitty Halloween cupcakes, was there really any doubt that there would also be Hello Kitty Halloween cookies as well?
It’s not often that I can get behind a Hello Kitty product, but I do have to say that I approve of this. With all the Hello Kitty guns that are out there, it’s about time that they had something worthy to shoot at — namely a Hello Kitty shooting target:
This really shouldn’t be a surprise. When the evil feline is willing to create a Hello Kitty Darth Vader or a Hello Kitty Klingon, it isn’t a stretch to imagine that she would try to invade absolutely every imaginable franchise including Ghostbusters. So while my eyes bleed at the sickly pink and my brain hurts at the abomination of a Hello Kitty Ghostbusters proton pack, I can’t say that I’m really all that surprised. If you’re a fan, be prepared to weep:
When Armageddon arrives, I have absolutely no doubt that this is exactly what we’ll all see in the streets:
One would assume that since Hello Kitty has no mouth that she wouldn’t be able to speak, and thus there wouldn’t be any Hello Kitty quotes that my wife could constantly reference. Of course, that would make way too much sense which is definitely not the way the evil feline works. In fact, she has what would appear to be the most ludicrous quotes in the world to anyone other than a HK fanatic. Take for example, my wife’s favorite Hello Kitty quote:
While I do believe that creating a Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkin is the best way to ruin a perfectly good holiday, I guess it’s a great way to scare the hell out of all the kids in the neighborhood and keep them away from your house.
