Hello Kitty Sausages


You may remember me telling you about the pimped out Hello Kitty cell phone that my wife had made and my embarrassing experience in the grocery store with it a couple of months back. My wife was quite distressed to learn that I wasn’t kidding when I said I couldn’t find the Hello Kitty sausages because our local store stopped selling them (yes, there is one sane store manager who was able to stand up to Sanrio in Japan). That means that my wife has been on a crusade to try to find a new place to get them since and, to her joy (and my chagrin) she was able to locate them the other day:

Hello Kitty sausages

I still am not sure why we have to have Hello Kitty on our food (it’s another one of those Hello Kitty fanatic things that no normal person will ever be able to comprehend) and even with the pleasure of getting to chomp my teeth into her and grind her up, it doesn’t make up for the nauseating experience of having to look at her on my plate.

The finding of the Hello Kitty sausages somehow revived talk of only eating Hello Kitty food again (a nightmare scenario that I have been praying would somehow fade away, but always seems to reappear to send chills down my spine). All I know is that if this idea transpires into reality, Hello Kitty Hell will have progressed to new depths that I don’t even want to imagine.

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48 Responses to Hello Kitty Sausages

  1. Absinth says:

    hey! At least you get to bite and cut and chew and do other things to HK!!! lol thikn again… maybe this is a way you can payback a little to HK :)

  2. brien says:

    Is this sausage actually made out of Hello Kitty?

    … or is it made out of other kitties, and just has Hello Kitty decorations on it?

  3. TeratoMarty says:

    These reminds me of the time I had an allergic reaction to some scented body powder I used on my unit. If I’d had a HK tattoo down there, the resemblance would be complete. Urrgh.

  4. bagel says:

    Is it made from real Hello Kitty?

  5. Vy says:

    Hahaha, do you think your wife dreams of doing HK shaped poo or something like that?:P

  6. paper-rain says:

    Can’t you somehow convince your wife that these are made out of Mechanically Removed Meat or something disgusting like that? Unless of course it says it’s good quality on the packaging…
    hmm

  7. Shawn says:

    If she does decide to go ahead and eat only HK food then I think that would be more than enough to have her committed to a ward or at least to be forced into some kind of therapy group by the state.

  8. Georg says:

    It’s a pity you can’t convince her that eating HK is a sacrolidge. Here you are, happily stabbing and macerating HK…. Surely pooping digested HK has to be Wrong in her world.

  9. Amy says:

    Hey’ maybe you could find some HK shaped Lexapro for your wife. I think it may be more helpful than you could imagine…..

  10. Amy says:

    brien – your AWESOME!! I lurve your way of thinking :-)

  11. tamtamyoo says:

    Would you mind providing the ingredient list for those HK sausages? They don’t exactly look all too appetizing… *hurk*

  12. Suzanne says:

    You have to stop using internet pics and start taking pictures of your own… I’ve SEEN this picture a bunch of times, take a picture of it on a plate before you guys consume it at dinner. I want new material, not something you pulled off the net. Makes me think you really are making all this up.

  13. Been through this before – people not believing so I posted photos of our bathroom. No need for me to do anything more – if that didn’t convince you, nothing will.

    Let’s try to understand something here since the writing on the blog hasn’t seemed to make the obvious — what shall we say — obvious. This is not a blog to provide new photos for Hello kitty fans. I don’t care if you want new photos. I have absolutely no desire to waste more time on Hello Kitty taking photos, uploading them, cropping, etc when there is no need (not to mention the fact that if I start taking photos of Hello Kitty stuff, it will only encourage my wife into thinking I have found an interest in the evil feline).

    The 15 minutes it takes to write and post already takes far too much time in my opinion, but if there is an easy photo to throw up to give some context to the writing, then I’m willing to spend another minute to do so. If you don’t like the photos I use, ignore them and read the writing…that’s the important part ;)

  14. fish-boy says:

    may god be with you as you battle the evil 5 course helo kitty set meals

  15. fish-boy says:

    people of hell kitty hear me today the ground shall be srained with the blood of hk there will be no dawn for hk(this is not the overactive imagination of a 12 yr oldkid i really mean it) TO WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. darlene says:

    Stop complaining. It is getting annoying. Just post the photos and stop making stupid commentary. Most of us would love to be in your position and be surrounded by so many lovely Hello Kitty goods. You don’t understand how lucky you really are.

  17. ginahearts says:

    You need to start respecting those of us that like Hello Kitty. Without the Hello Kitty fans this blog would be nothing. You would be blogging to only yourself and a couple of cronies. If you don’t listen to those of us who like Hello Kitty, we will leave and this blog will be nothing. What are you going to do when that happens?

  18. SunshineReaper says:

    Oh honey! *hugs* I’m so sorry. Now I like HK, but srsly not as much as your lady. (all my HK stuff can fit in one medium sized rubbermade tub). This lvl of obsession makes me nauseous. My husband was petrified that one day I would find this site for fear of descending into his own HK Hell. The only thing on this site I’ve seen that I’ll actually spend money on is the corset. The rest is just ridiculous, esp HK SAUSAGES (?!?!?!) *sigh* I figure it can’t be that bad, honey, or you’d have run screaming into the HK free night a loooooong time ago.

    ~S

  19. Absinth says:

    He’ll go on with us readers with a brain!!! do you really think that that kind of threat is something to be feared? You’re ridiculous! I like Hk but I’m not a fanatic…. I enjoy reading this blog and people like are the ones that ruin it.

  20. Absinth says:

    I wrote a sentence the wrong way, let me refrase:
    I enjoy reading this blog and people like Darlene and Ginahearts are the ones that ruin it.
    don’t threat, just read and if you don’t like you’re free to go and read about puroland :) there’s room for everyone in the world you know

  21. If you don’t listen to those of us who like Hello Kitty, we will leave and this blog will be nothing. What are you going to do when that happens?

    Celebrate! ;)

  22. Absinth says:

    Good answer! You have my applause :)

  23. Kitteh!! says:

    Thanks for the cross-link to the bathroom photos mate. Those demonstrate my point perfectly. Cute is something that happens from cute highlights in otherwise normal; not something that you add to by adding more “cute” items on a single theme.

  24. Tricia says:

    I am a HK fanatic and I will go the extra mile to try to find the things that you post on your (very, very funny) site. But those sausages are just wrong. They are just totally wrong. I would not eat anything that looks like that just because they have her beautiful face stamped on it. They look processed, but with something other than meat. How do they taste? Yuck.

  25. TeratoMarty says:

    >Mechanically Removed Meat

    Chemically-reclaimed pork byproducts! Most people would rather not know what’s in normal sausage, but these have suffered the addition of a dye that turns them band-aid “flesh” tone pink.

  26. Barrie says:

    I admit that I take a sort of vsceral joy from cutting and ingesting the hello kitty shaped waffles that my sister makes with her pink HK head shaped waffle iron. I imagine that I am consuming HK’s soul and growing strong from her despair. However, that is merely a rationalization to make the pain a little less. I am so glad that you cannot get those sausages in America.

    Oh and for the ladies who were threatening to boycott your site, well, I can only point, laugh and recommend HK shaped thorazine tablets.

  27. JD says:

    I’m a chick and I enjoy a cute HK gadget here and there but I am anxiously awaiting the day where you stand up for yourself.

    I don’t get it, we all do weird things for the ones we love but this is beyond normal behavior. Your own enabling is really no better. At the very least demand a normal sleeping bag for sofa nights. And buy a comfy sofa.

  28. shadowdragon says:

    Errrrr…….those sausages appear to be cast-offs from (shudder) AIRLINE FOOD.

    Check it: http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/11804597.html

  29. Shawn says:

    Ginahearts,

    If you and all the other HK fans leave I can vouch that I will still look at this site because when ever I do and I realize that I’m a rather sane human being that doesn’t waste money of useless junk… well.. I feel better about myself…

  30. lin says:

    Isn’t your wife making money with HK stuffs?? The bathroom photos look like merchandise to me. To be honest, it doesn’t make sense that someone will buy 3 of same item or 7 same design HK plushs, in different colors.

  31. fish-boy says:

    hello all who hate hello kitty just wanna say that i appreciated your suport when i attacked sanio ALONE!!!! where were you

  32. Carol says:

    Yet another brilliant observation of the true evil that is Hello Kitty. Keep up the good work. I shall endeavor to follow your lead by letting everyone I know in on the true nature of Hello Kitty… and I have a little girl so I know many families who’ve been tricked by her deception. Together we stand and fight against her bid for world domination!

  33. Wendy says:

    Are ‘darlene’ and ‘ginahearts’ possessed with HK evil? I think they may have something mental going on, ya know? And I am saying that as a life long Kitty fan myself. ‘Bagel’ and ‘Brien’ cracked me up asking if it was made from HK! :oD

  34. Sabatu says:

    At first I thought somebody got butt surgery so they only pooped out ;pgs with Hello Kitty stamped on it.

  35. nia says:

    erm..it looks like little piglets w/o heads & legs on a plate. AND, it looks..um..EWW.

  36. Hannah (21-cause I know there's a younger one around here somewhere . . .) says:

    “If you don’t listen to those of us who like Hello Kitty, we will leave and this blog will be nothing. What are you going to do when that happens?”

    Um . . . celebrate?

    And these things look nasty. Like really nasty. Like Soylent green is made from people kind of nasty.

  37. I don’t actually come to this blog just for the comments.

    The second or more I do, but initially it’s to see the writing.

  38. Lil Nibbler says:

    Hey, my cats are missing! LoL

    You are an interesting man, Mr. HelloKittyHellComplainer. I like this whole blog you got going, causing all sorts of hullabaloo with your hate on the Kitty…oh my! LoL
    Thanks for the pics you posted, I like to torture my man with them, threatening to get them and consume his life like you wife did yours. Messed up, ain’t I? LoL

  39. Hello Kitty says:

    i think i should be on EVERYONE’S food as a reward to fans.

  40. Re says:

    PAHAHAHAHAHAHA xD

  41. not yellow says:

    man..this hello kitty thing has gone too far. It’s like worshiping God..but no..this cat is not God, it’s just a cartoon cat , an evil cartoon cat, willing to take over the entire world. What do the hk fans find in this cat? >__< makes me hate cats wtf.

    I love this site, it shows how crazy some ppl are.

    I hope a giant hole will swallow everything that has a connection with hello kitty ^__^

  42. Mari says:

    Where do you live man? lol
    That’s some crazy stuff…at least the sausage isn’t shaped like HK

  43. Hello_kitty says:

    how DARE you think of eating ME ?

    you love me , you worship me ! DONT DARE EAT ME …

  44. Spica says:

    Those look funny.

  45. Anti-Darlene says:

    that’s the most disgusting thing i’ve ever seen. just another way that proves sanrio’s only purpose is to make hundreds of follars.

  46. Liz says:

    I actually like this one. You can cut off the evil felines head every time! >:)

  47. hello bunny says:

    omg that is so totally beautiful! shame they arent veg sausages though :( i really REALLY want some!
    sanrio need to make vegan ones!

  48. Fmeh. says:

    It’s dog meat, made in Korea.

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