You know that Hello Kitty has Hello Kittified almost everything when Sanrio starts to place the evil feline on things that you can’t even pronounce like the Hello Kitty aneroid sphygmomanometer:
There are some things that arrive in my mailbox that are so out of bounds that I assume that it is a single crazy Hello Kitty fanatic that would do something like that. Take for example, Hello Kitty scarification. While the fact that anyone would do that in the first place is beyond comprehension, being the normal person I am, I assumed it was a one time aberration in the seam of the fabric of life since there was no way that more than one person would ever want to do something like that to herself.
Of course, I once again have greatly underestimated the fanaticism of those that worship Hello Kitty and once again had to jump back in horror when this arrived in my mailbox: Another Hello Kitty scar:
It appears that this video was made a few months ago, but it was just brought to my attention. The first Hello Kitty Hell fan video:
There is just something about this photo that I like:
I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise since we all know that Hello Kitty will do anything to make a buck, but the evil feline has decided to turn computer laptops into a fashion statement and roll out new themes every 6 months. The process has been building over the years. At one point, you had to actually pimp out your own Hello Kitty computer before Epson decided to bling out the laptop for you. From there is went down hill. That success lead to monogrammed Hello Kitty themes and we all prayed that would put things to an end, but alas Epson has decided to come out with 2 more Hello Kitty themes: Flower and Airplane
This is the problem with Hello Kitty fanatics. When I make a post saying that Hello Kitty and romantic do not go together, that does not mean that I want you to suddenly start sending me photos of anything and everything that is Hello Kitty that my wife might even remotely consider romantic. For instance, a Hello Kitty horse drawn carriage:
There are certain things that should never be created, and Hello Kitty has more than her fair share of them. You can add the Hello Kitty pedicab to the list:
Just to prove (as if this was something that we really needed) that things can always get worse with Hello Kitty, Japan Vogue has announced the Hello Kitty will be on the cover of the June magazine and will be featured in a photo spread wearing the latest autumn/winter designs from Dior:
A few of the emails I have received over the past few weeks:
I must say that when I came along and found your site I felt like a happy schoolgirl on a sunny day! I have been happily married to my high school sweetheart for three years. Unknown to me during the time we were dating I was unaware of my wife’s freakish obsession with Hello Kitty. The nightmare began on our wedding night when we were opening our wedding gifts that consistent of a Kitty toaster, handle towels, oven mitts and other monstrosities that I cannot mention without me having to evacuate to the bathroom and throwing up my very expensive t-bone dinner. I have explained to her that I think it might be time for her to get a much more grown up hobby. I threw out the idea that we might have couples golf lessons, gym sessions or something that does not include a feline in the mix. We have frequented the fine jewelry stores browsing for the perfect piece just to end up buying her the Kimore Lee Simmons “Hello Kitty” diamond collection. Should I mention that most of the pieces in that collection are $1000.00 or up and let me tell you my wallet felt it that day.
Reading through this forum I feel a little bit better about myself that I’m not the only Husband here that feels very hostile towards a very imaginary character. I know that every time that I wake up in the morning to eat some jam and toast I proceed to go to the toaster to see a white feline with her devilish eyes and her every sinister smile as if she saying to me “Even after you are gone and no one will remember you I will still bring smiles to grown woman every where.” I then take my burnt toast with a Hello Kitty imprint on it and then proceed to the couch, which is laced with overstuffed Hello Kitty pillows and eat my breakfast in a trance as if to wonder if our lives will ever be free of this pest lie little feline they call Hello Kitty — CB
Only three years? The worst — and yes, it will get much, much worse — is yet to come…
I am both happy and upset to have found your site. One of my kitty obsessed co-workers showed this sight pointing out that it was the most complete collection of hello kitty stuff. To find out that it was a hello kitty hate sight filled my heart with joy.
I work in a rather large gay night club. I’m only one of two heterosexual men working there. I’m known as DJ Blakkat, or at least was. My coworkers started buying me Gothic and punk hello kitty items. No big deal — just a few plush dolls kinda of cute I thought. Well, as time moved on, they shortened my name to DJ Kitty. They started buying me more and more hello kitty things each one more bizarre than the last. Now I live in hello kitty hell. Even my boss has had custom hello kitty lenses ordered for two of my trac-spots!
I must say that it hasn’t been all bad. It has gotten me laid more than the straight guy in a gay bar thing. Also there are many appliances that I could not afford on my budget such as the imported lcd TV that were bought for me, not a dime out of my pocket, all I have to do is live with that damn cat.
I’ll be reading your site regularly. It’s good to know there are others that are forced into having every thing they own covered with that damn cat! Anotherone in HK Hell — DJ Blakkat
If you can even think of saying “I must say that it hasn’t been all bad,” you still have absolutely no idea what Hello Kitty Hell is…
Recently my life has become hello kitty hell. My friend talks of nothing else she has t-shirts jewellery key ring, pencil case stationary and the list goes on and is unfortunately expanding. It’s only a matter of time before she has the theme song as her ringtone!!!
In retaliation I have had 2 start a small local hate club against the satanic hello kitty who plans to use her brainwashed followers to take over our world and make this universe EVEN MORE of a hello kitty hell. After founding the HKHK (Hello Kitty Hate Klub) I read your blog and see that u also live in a hello kitty hell,.
Is there any way to save my friend from the hell kitty’s corruption or is she doomed to spend her eternity as part of this demonic cult????
The question you should be asking (and be far more afraid of) is whether you, as her friend, are doomed to live her Hello Kitty Hell as well…
It’s a simple question. If you save up money to take a romantic trip to Vienna with your significant other, how would you most want to spend your time?
If you have a Hello Kitty fanatic in your life, you already know the answer…forget the culture, forget the sights, forget the romance, forget the history and head straight for the Hello Kitty shop:
This picture reflects how a holiday to beautiful Vienna can be ruined when finding Kitty World down a side street. Hours upon hours were spent, while missing out on all the sights Vienna has to see…fun
You knew that it was merely a matter of time. Was there really any doubt that we would eventually confirm that Hello Kitty is dealing cocaine?
I knew I had another Hello Kitty Hellish day coming when I opened up my email this morning. We already have established that the mixture of Hello Kitty and anything sexy is bound to produce something that is horror movie nightmarish and no matter how hard people try, Hello Kitty doesn’t make you hot and sexy. While Hello Kitty fanatics can’t seem to comprehend this universal truth, the following photo once again proves the point in the worst of ways:
Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:
Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.
And onto the original post…
I guess with all the other types of Hello Kitty guns that are out there, it shouldn’t be a surprise that there is also a Hello Kitty shotgun (with Hello Kitty shotgun shells and other various Hello Kitty bullets as well…)
All I can say is, this poor boy. Life is not looking good if your mom makes you fly a Hello Kitty kite…
It seems to me that if there was one area that Hello Kitty wouldn’t be able to Hello Kittify everything, it would be the construction business. Of course, the evil feline continues to break any and all boundaries of decency so I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise that there is a Hello Kitty power sander:
It seems that on a past Simpson’s episode, Lisa quits smoking using Hello Kitty nicotine patches
It’s been well established that Hello Kitty can’t leave anything alone that may be popular that doesn’t have her on it. She co-opts anything and everything and turns what used to be something that could be enjoyed by all into a horrific example of everything that it wrong. Case in point — the Hello Kitty rubber duck: