Hello Kitty Japanese Goodwill Tourism Ambassador
I should have known that Hello Kitty Hell would not let me off that easily. After receiving over 20 emails yesterday about this I thought I could avoid the entire thing by placing a small blurb at the end of a post saying that I was aware and that everyone that visits here can stop sending me emails about it. Of course, in a non Hello Kitty Hell world that would mean that people would stop sending me emails about this and the entire horrific episode could be quickly forgotten as I pretended it never happened — but since I do live in hello Kitty Hell, it instead opened the floodgates and I can now assume that every person that has ever seen this blog has informed me of this news – Hello Kitty has been given an official title and made “goodwill tourism ambassador” of Japan to China and Hong Kong:
While all the Hello Kitty fanatics think this is the greatest thing ever, those that live in Hello Kitty Hell know this is just the first step in a master plan. They probably have sealed a deal where every tourist is given a Hello Kitty “shoulder massager” to release the stress on the long trip over here. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s that long before you see the evil feline running for Japanese prime minister.
While the entire concept that the Japanese government is embracing Hello Kitty (I guess they realize how many fanatics there are out there and what they are willing to spend to get anything Hello Kitty and figured it would revive the Japanese economy) is scary, what is even scarier about it is that there are far too many people that read this blog that sent me the news. The scariest part, however, is that when writing about it, most did so with an unabashed thrill on the torture they knew it would bring to me. In fact, emails gloating about the torture news like this must bring to me outnumbered ones of sympathy about 10 to 1 (then again, anyone who was truly sympathetic to my plight would have never sent me the link in the first place). Yet one more thing to add heat to the fires stoking my Hello Kitty Hell…
Video sent in by marnie (and updated by cecet) who should have to spend the rest of her days with the Hello Kitty ambassador for thinking even for an instant sending the video to me could ever be a good idea…
Popularity: 19% [?]
Posted: May 20th, 2008 under Hello Kitty Strange, Hello Kitty Travel.
Comments: 41
Comments
#1 Comment from wring
Time: May 20, 2008, 8:13 am
wow that was quick! i just saw this news item today and thought of you. hello kitty reprazent!
#2 Comment from moriyah
Time: May 20, 2008, 9:08 am
Happily I can say I did not send you that link to the crazed story…. I hope you survive today. it’s going to be a rough one — I can’t believe that Hello Kitty is now a Goodwill Ambassador. But that’s how all crazed dictators start, right? Being nice?
Scary…
#3 Comment from RSKS
Time: May 20, 2008, 10:08 am
They will not stop playing nice until they have their power…
#4 Comment from Stratagemini
Time: May 20, 2008, 12:34 pm
I really want to Mock you now. But to be honest, the fact that Hello Kitty is thought important enough to be a “Goodwill Ambassador” scares the hell out of me. I for one don’t want Hello Kitty to rule the world.
If Hello Kitty does End up Ruling the World, EVERYONE will be in Hello Kitty Hell.
I’d propose Escape on A Spaceship, But they’d probably Hello Kittyfy that too.
#5 Comment from andophiroxia
Time: May 20, 2008, 1:33 pm
Well, can Hello Kitty be assassinated now? I mean, I’m not advocating it, but since she’s ‘real’, does that mean the possibility that it will happen?
#6 Comment from Daisy
Time: May 20, 2008, 2:45 pm
Aaaaaah! Cuuuuuute!
#7 Comment from Nami
Time: May 20, 2008, 3:45 pm
Hello Kitty is finally taking over the world….RUN FOR COVER!!!
#8 Comment from Eize
Time: May 20, 2008, 6:18 pm
To be an ambassador, don’t you need a MOUTH for that?
#9 Comment from HKPepper
Time: May 20, 2008, 7:14 pm
WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!! GO HELLO KITTY!!! YOU DESERVE THE HELL OUT OF IT!!!! GO GO GO!!!
#10 Comment from Kitteh!!
Time: May 21, 2008, 1:08 am
I know the Japanese have a strange sense of humour, but HK as a “goodwill ambassador”!!? 
#11 Comment from darlene
Time: May 21, 2008, 3:36 am
The readers are starting to wake up and see that all you spread is falsehood about Hello Kitty and they are getting their revenge. Hello Kitty is the chosen ambassador because she is loved by everyone and there is nothing that you can do about it. Your lies just make us stronger to get the truth out. I’m amazed that this blog still even exists considering how one sided it is. But no matter how mean you may be, Hello Kitty will triumph because good always does over evil.
#12 Comment from Lulu
Time: May 21, 2008, 5:12 am
“Hello Kitty will triumph because good always does over evil.”
Wow. Darlene is making this sound really important, like Star Wars or something…
#13 Comment from Nichi
Time: May 21, 2008, 7:04 am
I was hella surprised when I heared this on the radio…
“There must be some mistake! It HAS to be a prank!”
But then this morning my father sent me an email with the news -.-
And I went straight here…to comfort the blogger and bloggers at this time of woe.
#14 Comment from Adrian
Time: May 21, 2008, 7:26 am
Welcome back Darlene. *sigh*
But how the hell is the rest of the world supposed to take Japan seriously now? LOL.
#15 Comment from Alfred
Time: May 21, 2008, 7:38 am
DARLENE IS BACK! YES!
#16 Comment from Sierradragon
Time: May 21, 2008, 8:45 am
Sigh, what is next? Mickey Mouse being declared the U.S Ambassador?
#17 Comment from Alex
Time: May 21, 2008, 8:52 am
Japan has obviously replaced Tojo with a more insidious mastermind of despotic cruelty.
#18 Comment from RSKS
Time: May 21, 2008, 10:43 am
Darlene…..you offically scared the crap out of me……thanks now i don’t need the bathroom…
#19 Comment from Edith
Time: May 21, 2008, 7:28 pm
That is sooo Great!!!
#20 Comment from Hernite
Time: May 21, 2008, 8:35 pm
Hello Kitty is revealing herself as the Anti-Christ! REPENT!
#21 Comment from Krissy
Time: May 23, 2008, 2:41 pm
Ahhhh….YES!!! I knew this would show up on here soon!! And it has!! I’m so happy it’s happened….not just cause I love the feline so much, but because I know it saddens you oh so much!! LOL!!
Bwah…ha…ha….ha….ha…ha…ha….ha….ha!!
#22 Comment from Silent Bob
Time: May 24, 2008, 1:32 am
I really feel that it is time for the Hello Kitty time machine to be invented. Just imagine what the world would be like if we can take Hello kitty back in time and just at the right moment switch it with JFK only to see HK get it’s brains blown out. wouldn’t that make a better world for all of us………?????
OR if we really wanted to be creative we can invent the Hello Kitty space ship and fill it with every bit of HK merchandise that has ever been churned out and slam it into the first black hole that we can find….
Ah, we can only dream ………………@@@@@
#23 Comment from mhkitty
Time: May 24, 2008, 4:41 am
Darlene, I can guarantee that NONE of the anti-HK readers here voted to make or wanted to make HK the Goodwill Ambassador to Japan…
You are as confused as ever… and here I thought a vacation would help you see things more clearly… there is no hope or help for you…
And again, STOP with the ‘us’ crap… what, you got a mouse in your pocket? Don’t lump everybody in with your insane a$$! Please!
#24 Comment from Silent Bob
Time: May 24, 2008, 4:07 pm
To Darlene……
Have you actually read the URL?? Last time i looked it is http://www.kittyhell.com, i.e. it was created to bag the living snot out of Hello Kitty. I am sure you are a little upset by some of the comments here but why do you come here if you are a HK fan?
The creator is using this as an outlet and to allow others with similar nightmares to vent and to rabbit on about just how invasive this rubbish is on society and the people around them.
Yes i agree that some people see HK as a cute little character and they are perfect items for the school playground when you are 13 but for the rest of us we find that @$%%$$!!! cat as about as cute as a stomach pump and the more it is shoved in our faces, the more we want to put it all in a pile and burn the crap.
We all have a right to say what the hell we want about HK and it is not some contest to see who has the loudest voice or who’s opinion really matters.
It is a God Dam Stuffed toy man…. get over it!
If you really want a warm and fuzzy blog then create one but for this one just let us all say what we want and have a little fun reading the well written content of this blog.
*** Blinks at the stupidity of it all**
#25 Comment from Silent Bob
Time: May 24, 2008, 4:15 pm
To Darlene part 2.
*** The Cheese has slid off your cracker!!!!*****
#26 Comment from Puppy
Time: May 25, 2008, 11:25 am
*applaudes Silent Bob for his wonderful speech*
your name is a bit ironic though 
silent XD
#27 Comment from bear_1
Time: May 25, 2008, 12:28 pm
Darlene is back, and still spewing the same verbal diarrhea she always does. Whoop-dee freakin’ do. Will she EVER get it through that empty head of hers that this blog is, in fact, NOT filled with her fellow HK-worshipping freaks?
And I, too, applaud Silent Bob and his words of wisdom. But unfortunately for Bob and the rest of us, his words fall on deaf and delusional ears (aka Darlene). But kudos for even trying!
And as for this whole HK “ambassador” crap, it is further proof that Sanrio wants to take over the world, and should be viewed as a global threat. The cat must die!!!!!
#28 Comment from Silent Bob
Time: May 26, 2008, 4:02 am
I agree with you Bear_1… THAT “!@$@#$!” Cat must die!!!
In the interests of annoying Darlene as much as possible i would like some creative ideas from other bloggers on what is the best way to do it. Your ideas must be physically possible and within my means and in return i will post the images of Hello Kitty’s impending death on this blog 
I chose silent bob as my name because of the similarities between the theme of that movie and the theme of lunacy that envelops the HK addicts.. think about it !!!!!!
** Must Kill CAT!!**
thanks for the support but the chances of getting through to a person who’s cheese has slid off it’s cracker is minimal i know, but i had to try!
#29 Comment from Silent Bob
Time: May 26, 2008, 4:04 am
Just a note***
High explosives are NOT beyond my means.
#30 Comment from Silent Bob
Time: May 27, 2008, 5:03 am
For those wondering, I am referring to the death of the Stuffed version not any person.
My other half came up with a good idea. She suggested that we cover it with some yummy substance and feed it to a bunch of very hungry rats. The unfortunate side effect of this is that it will probably kill the rats and lets face it, the dirty little buggers are far more appealing than Hello Kitty.
#31 Comment from taelor
Time: May 29, 2008, 11:51 am
since the little kitty is a “Goodwill Ambassador”, geuss that means she can be assassinated by the hello kitty ar 15…. ???
#32 Comment from rissowesome
Time: May 29, 2008, 11:52 am
we’re talking over the world. AWESOME!
#33 Comment from Susie Q
Time: June 3, 2008, 9:40 pm
OMG it’s alive!!! But how does it eat with no mouth!!
#34 Comment from jade
Time: June 11, 2008, 5:40 am
its an act of cuteness before she kills her poor gullible victims of hers
#35 Comment from V-Bert
Time: July 12, 2008, 1:27 pm
As an HK lover and an American who loves Japanese culture, I was thrilled to see this in the news!!
As Americans, we have a hard time taking this seriously because we have these stereotypes that dictate what level of “cuteness” men and boys are allowed to enjoy. The thing that all of you who have never been to Japan need to understand is that “cuteness”, in general, is completely tolerated and encouraged for people of any age or gender in Japan!
Gwen Stefani (who is also into Japanese culture) puts it best in her song “Harajuku Girls” when she says the Japanese have “a fatal attraction to cuteness”. Every single tourist trap in Japan sells themed HK trinkets which are made for that location (castle, samurai, onsen, peace museum, torii gate, etc.) Everything in Japan has a cute mascot or logo!! The railway system, professional corporations, major international events, mobile phone companies, cities, even the police! http://japanesemascots.com/
It is, therefore, not entirely surprising that they would crown a stuffed cat as a goodwill ambassador. Especially since HK has been a part of their culture for over 50 years.
#36 Comment from b
Time: July 20, 2008, 10:16 pm
oh my gosh
#37 Comment from Alex
Time: July 22, 2008, 12:18 am
Good job kitty! I just love how exuberant the actress is in the costume. (I hope it is an actress.) Just watch how she tries to (unsuccessfully I might add) embrace the man in the suit. You have to admit this is necessary to take a step back from the suffocation and propriety of modern governmental institutions and laugh at how unusual this circumstance is. And you have to see their angle is two fold; not only is Hello Kitty endearing to post war generations by drawing in a closer relationship between these countries, but the Sanrio company is a juggernaut of globalization and commercial codependency in the east. This speaks volumes about post Cold War dynamics… money speaks… nationalist identity vanishes.
#38 Comment from Jost
Time: September 17, 2008, 4:35 pm
What we’re witnessing is a travesty in history my friends… The demise of a great culture taken down by the ‘innocent’ facade of an expressionless caricature. Whoa to those who call good, evil and evil, good.
#39 Pingback from Hello Kitty For President – Hello Kitty Hell
Time: October 18, 2008, 7:09 pm
[...] seems that Hello Kitty fanatics aren’t satisfied with Hello Kitty merely being a cultural ambassador and want her to be more. So is it really a surprise that there would be a movement to get Hello [...]
#40 Comment from kitija
Time: September 23, 2009, 5:01 am
I just love hallokitty I always wanted everything you could get with hallokitty but I didint.At least I love hallokitty . I LOVE YOU HALLOKITTY
#41 Comment from Shiromaku
Time: November 29, 2009, 1:27 pm
dude tht is sooooooooooo badass!
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