Hello Kitty Plant

The full extent of the Hello Kitty Hellish nightmare that my wife is imagining for our next house is coming into full view. She already has her sights set on a Hello Kitty brick house, and thinks that landscaping the yard with Hello Kitty bushes would add the perfect touch:

Hello Kitty plant

The only positive that I can see from something like this is that we would never have to decorate our house at Halloween. In fact, we would save money on candy as no sane child would be willing to wander through the Hello Kitty landscape and risk years of trauma that it would inevitably produce.

I would never wish that a new Hello Kitty product be produced, but if I do one day have to deal with something like this in front of my house, I might make an exception for a Hello Kitty chainsaw. I could then reduce the evil feline to what she undoubtedly would deserve to become — Hello Kitty yard waste. Of course, that would leave me on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for an indeterminate amount of time, but it might be a sacrifice that has to be made…

Sent in by spiritualkitty who should have to live in close proximity with one of these Hello Kitty plants grown from poison ivy as punishment for helping my wife to imagine making my current Hello Kitty Hell that much hotter…

21 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Plant

  1. The fact that you would use a chainsaw on an innocent bush that makes the world a little bit greener just proves how the evil one is you and not Hello Kitty.

    Darlene has been telling you this for so long, but you never listen to the voice of reason, because your heart is so full of hate.

  2. Actually, Marlene has a point. All you need to do to get rid of an ugly piece of topiary is not trim it for a year or 2.

  3. I LOVE this blog! You’re hilarious, man!
    What really cracks me up are the comments, the rabid HK-lovers are…well…rabid. Haha.

    Good luck with finding that Hello Kitty chainsaw!

  4. I admit that I have a couple of useful Hello Kitty items (i.e. a toaster, purse, etc.) but every Hello Kitty item I have was given to me as a gift. Maybe you should give her some more lovin’ to take her mind off of her unhealthy obsession. What a waste of money…

  5. It is just a Hello Kitty fake plant or I think it a fake. It would be nice if it was a real bush. One thing that does bother me is why the gaudy pink styles as in this case the pedestal. A more minimalist approach would complement the plant. I guess this something about Japan’s culture of Kawaii.

    I trim a Hello Kitty Bonsai bush in your direction.

  6. Well, there is one plus. A living plant can be killed, without the chainsaw, resulting in a dead kitty bush.

    But it would still be the kitty. just dead. which is maybe only slightly better….

  7. Um, dont kill the poor little bush!
    Just rip off the eyes and the nose and the bow, and trim a little and there u go! a perfect bush!
    I think Marlene is Darlene, but that’s kinda obvious cuz “darlene” hasnt been ranting on about this one yet, or has she…*shifty eyes*

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