Hello Kitty Hell Emails


More random Hello Kitty emails that found their way to me recently:

This HK Guitar showed up at my house as a gift. Is it from all of the kind comment people on HK Hell, or the disapproving ones who would like me to plug the guitar in with my feet wet?

Or did MELLY send it to me? She has my PIN number.
Thank You, HKH, Jeanne, Monterey Bay, California

Hello Kitty guitar

By the look on her face, that cat still hasn’t forgiven you…

I think your stupid website should be shut down because:

1. Hello kitty hell is a bad website and hello kitty is a good character and is used for good things!
2. Hello Kitty is a character from the company Sanrio, which was copyrighted infringement!
3. I am a Hello Kitty fanatic too! Your website makes Hello Kitty and I feel like dirt!
4. If Japan heard about this, they would sue and arrest you!
5. And Hello Kitty is NOT an evil feline! I’m maddened by the mean things you say about Hello Kitty!

I’m terribly pissed off by this bad website of yours. You are out of your mind to make an evil website! And you are saying it ain’t going to happen, Well it BETTER happen right this instant.

Yours HATEFULLY,

Chandler Chavarria

Whoa, somebody didn’t get her Hello Kitty coffee this morning ;)

Hello there. I just wanted to ask you a question on a Hello kitty bag I got for my friend. It said that it contained harmful chemicals and it can cause cancer. Is this true? Or was that put there by accident? — Marwa

No, that tag is not accurate. Hello Kitty can cause things much, much worse than cancer…

Hello Mr. HKH

I simply want to offer my deepest sympathy for your plight. Though I realise that Hello Kitty likely doesn’t take up such a great amount of your life as it seems on the blog (since the entries tend to favor the HKatastrophes), I still sympathise and want to let you know that HK has not taken root everywhere. Up in distant Denmark, for example, the menace has not taken root.

Oh, and take heart! For when you do wind up on the couch, bring a book about some terribly manly subject (or something with zombies) to act as a polar opposite!

Best of luck
Peter

PS: The contents of your blog has severely undermined my already faltering faith in humanity…

Peter, run for cover. Now that you mentioned this glaring oversight about Denmark, you know that Sanrio and the evil feline will be all over it…

Could you compile all of Darlene’s crazy comments into one blog? I think it’d make for a good laugh, she’s always so repetitive. What a loon. — KimAnh

and not just once…

How about a “best” of Darlene’s comments collection… (for days when the well of kawai runs a little low…) Keep up the good snark… — Jeff

Why, oh why, would I ever want to encourage her in any way, shape or form?

I was born in 1979, 3 years after Hello Kitty was created. My first memory of Hello Kittie was getting a red pencil box with her on it from my dad. This was a pretty epic present and at the time, Hello Kitty was actually quite hard to find.

I am now 30 years old and still consider myself a fan of Hello Kitty, but I can list everything I own in one sentence. I have a set of chopsticks given to me by a friend who went to Japan, a small Hello Kitty plush where she is dressed as a bee, which I got for High School graduation, 1 hello Kitty pencil and a set of hair clips. Not everyone who likes Hello Kitty is a rabid, scary fan.

To me, Hello Kitty is one of the bright spots in a very unhappy childhood and I don’t feel the need to collect every crazy item that exists. I am happy with the few things I have because they all have a special memory attached to them.

Now on to the meanest prank I ever played. I made a mixed CD for a friend with a lot of rock songs. Metallica and the like. And then, between two really hard rocking songs I snuck an mp3 of the Hello Kitty theme song and didn’t bother writing that out on the CD cover. The first time she listened to the CD she had the sound up really loud and was scared to death by the song. The best part is, she is in no way a fan of “the big headed cat.”

Anyhow, I appreciate the overall message of your blog. Too much is too much. Just wanted you to know there are some sane people who can like Hello Kitty with out needing to get the Charles Manson forehead tattoo… Yeesh. — Jen

Obviously you do not preach what say you appreciate in that too much is too much – Hello Kitty in the middle of Metallica is just downright mean…

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25 Responses to Hello Kitty Hell Emails

  1. Leanan says:

    LMAO at the sneaky CD! That’s evil!

  2. Katarina (splodgy) says:

    “4. If Japan heard about this, they would sue and arrest you!”

    OMG! Ha ha ha! That just totally made my day. Watch out now, Japan is surely out to get you ;)

    Thanks for a fab blog!

  3. Marlene says:

    A best of darlene? How about me???

  4. edward says:

    It’s not copyright infringement if you’re using it for parody purposes.

  5. Friedrich says:

    1. Hello kitty hell is a bad website and hello kitty is a good character and is used for good things!
    ———UMM Kitty is the one selling AK47’s & other “Quertionable” items, though most would say , Yes kitty, you done a “Good” thing that’s a very good thing you did! just like in the twilight zone episode!

    3. I am a Hello Kitty fanatic too! Your website makes Hello Kitty and I feel like dirt!
    ——Its called a concience & they are TOUGH to have, as good often turns bad if you have TOO much. Sugar is WONDERFUL, yet diabetes & morbid obesity happens if you get TOO much of that good thing……TOO much of anything, no matter how good, often ends up going bad……

    I actually am ok with the fad, but I am exposed to WAY smaller doses than Mr HKH has to deal with on a daily basis…….

  6. Liz says:

    Marlene, you’re more of a copyKitty.

    But seriously, one hateful e-mail (or 5) should not make you shut this site down. Don’t let down your fans! We believe in you! \(>w<)/

  7. leslie says:

    dont you DARE play metallica or any real rock on that pink monstrocity! thats music blasphemy! britney spears, jessica simpson or miley cyrus ,fine. but nothing else.

  8. danigirl says:

    Wow Chandler seems to have some anger issues. I gotta agree with Liz here Marlene is like a carbon copy of Darlene. And ouch with the HK song sandwiched with rock thats like cruel and unusual punishment

  9. Lynn says:

    Nice for a 3 to 6 year old girl. Even though I am a Hello Kitty fan, it is a travesty to inflict the feline on a musical instrument for an adult !

    As for Darlene, I like it that she’s all but disappeared…I just can’t understand why a lot of people are craving her comments. They all sound the same to me !

  10. opossumfeather says:

    LOL My cat MissKitty who is white but not long haired makes the same face

  11. danigirl says:

    Darlene will be back. she’s actually a lot like herpes, goes away for a bit and then next thing you know unexpected flare up

  12. acton says:

    Do not provoke Darlene unto wrath.

    The joke is not Darline but how she can riled up haters. Every time you respond she wins. The bigest joke is she doesen’t have to type a character to get you all going.

  13. Gail says:

    You Hello Kitty Freaks may complain incessantly that you hate this blog, but secretly you love it, because here you are reading every day. At least own your love of Hello Kitty Hell. Posers. That is all.

  14. Amber says:

    Anyone ever considered that Darlene & Marlene are the same person?

  15. jules says:

    The cat’s expression is priceless x))

  16. Meryat says:

    Dunno. Marlene spells her name with a capital M, but darlene uses a small d at the beginning of her name. Of course, this may be a Clever Ploy to keep everyone from suspecting.

    I love the idea of someone being sued by Japan! Does that mean the government, the Japanese people as a whole, or the landform itself? “Japan is suing you!” “All of Japan?” “Just Mount Fuji and Tokyo Bay. Nothing serious.” “Good thing Hikarigaoka Park’s not in on it. That’s one mean-spirited public facility.”

  17. Min says:

    Hehe, Jeanne should enter her cat on “my cat hates you.com”

  18. Kitteh!! says:

    Guys, you just completely broke me up this morning!!! Thanks one and all (even Chandler, who reminds me of a less unbalanced version of darlene)!

    And on the law suit from Japan, I’ve got good news. Kyosho has offered to defend pro bono!

  19. Skobo says:

    I just can’t help laughing about the cat’s expression.
    Man, your website is marvellous!

  20. Darki-Chan says:

    LOL at the disk one! srry i haven’t been commenting lately,i been busy.

  21. panda-chan says:

    hello kitty is cute but not worth the obessive buying of it lol

  22. yuki says:

    i work at sanrio and really, HK doesn’t show up everywhere, you just really look for it.. why do you think a lot of these rare KT items you blog about people ask where you got them? -_-

    But really, why did you marry your wife if you really didn’t like Hello Kitty? You must have committed to a lifetime to blogging about KT haha

  23. Nicole says:

    Gosh, that Hello Kitty Fender is sweet! ^-^
    HK fans should learn to be less uptight about this blog. Yes, some of the comments can get a little crude; but those are the opinions of others and we should respect them. I’m a HK fan (sorta) but I like this site because the articles amuse me(: (Seriously, some HK stuffs are just plain ridiculous!) This site makes for some good HK ogling, so >u<

  24. marissa says:

    why r u wasting your life blogging about hello kitty let it go u no life hello kitty HATER!!!!

  25. ILoveLuckyCharms says:

    I seriously think you SHOULD post an entire blog of all of Darlene’s comments—it would totally be a hit. XD

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