Hello Kitty Hell

While Hello Kitty fanatics don’t realize it, when they hang a Hello Kitty holiday wreath on their door, they are conveniently warning everyone in the neighborhood the terrible dangers that lurk inside. Believe me, you disregard this warning sign at your own peril:

As if there was really a need to have one more reason to want this season to end as quickly as possible (see Hello Kitty Christmas trees and Hello Kitty ornaments if you had any doubts), this should quickly put the question to rest: a Hello Kitty Christmas music video that is guaranteed to haunt [...]

I knew that once the Hello Kitty Christmas tree showed up in my email before December even began that things weren’t going to go well this holiday season. This feeling was confirmed when someone, for some unfathomable reason, thought it would be a good idea to send me a photo of Hello Kitty Christmas ornaments:

Leave it to Hello Kitty fanatics to not have the patience (or common decency) to start sending me horrible reminders of what the next month is going to be like in Hello Kitty Hell. First there was the Hello Kitty Christmas tree which soon lead to another Christmas tree before the floodgates opened (which created [...]

It’s obvious that Hello Kitty wants anyone and everyone to promote her, even if it’s a D-List TV personality wearing an age inappropriate costume. I could go on and on about what a sad train wreck the Bethenny Frankel Hello Kitty costume is, but a couple of photos will do that so much better:

While I’m not a big fan of any of the Hello Kitty costumes that are out there, I’m especially horrified with this one. I think that this Hello Kitty mummy cosplay model confirms, without a doubt, that Hello Kitty supports eating disorders:

Apparently there are some people that aren’t simply satisfied with ruining Halloween with an abundance of the evil feline, but also feel it necessary to throw in another beloved iconic toy to ruin as well. When this happens, the result is stuff like the Hello Kitty Lego Halloween figures:

I knew this was coming. I secretly prayed that it wouldn’t, but the mere fact that the evil feline exists pretty much proves that there is no God. It has become an annual torture fest beginning with Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkins landing in my email, then eventually a Hello Kitty Halloween costume ending up there [...]

I guess I should have expected it. If there are Hello Kitty Halloween cupcakes, was there really any doubt that there would also be Hello Kitty Halloween cookies as well?

While I do believe that creating a Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkin is the best way to ruin a perfectly good holiday, I guess it’s a great way to scare the hell out of all the kids in the neighborhood and keep them away from your house.

As I have stated before, the Halloween season is the start of a lot of Hello Kitty Hellishness. One would hope that the evil feline would be able to keep the theme somewhat on target with Hello Kitty pumpkins and Hello Kitty costumes with very little deviation into such things as Hello Kitty Halloween cupcakes, [...]

I should know better. Hello Kitty fanatics waste absolutely no time spreading the torture of the upcoming holiday at hand. With the beginning of a new month, I should have known that it was going to be a mistake to open any email that had Hello Kitty and <3 in the title. Apparently Hello Kitty [...]

All I can say is that I’ll be damn glad when Halloween is over…

Let the Hello Kitty Halloween deluge begin. It wasn’t even a possibility that the Halloween horror would stop with the Hello Kitty Halloween nails. Even though there have been plenty of Hello Kitty pumpkins (oh, yes, there are more) sent in, Hello Kitty fanatics only care about their own (and somehow feel it is important [...]

You know it’s going to be an extraordinarily terrible holiday season when it begins with Hello Kitty nails being made worse than all the examples already out there (something that any normal person would assume would be impossible). Then again, one thing I have learned over the years is to never underestimate how bad Hello [...]

One would hope that it would be possible to escape the evil feline every now and again, but Hello Kitty always does her best to make sure that isn’t possible. Even a trip to the local beach is wrought with the risk of coming across a 26 foot tall Hello Kitty balloon (with all her [...]

You’re excited for Halloween because you have decided to go out as Darth Vader. You can’t wait for your friends to see your awesome costume. Then mom says that you have to take your little sister with you. You can’t believe your rotten luck. Having your little sister tagging along is going to ruin everything. [...]

What do you get the Hello Kitty fanatic in your life for Valentine’s Day? Apparently, the evil feline knows exactly what her fanatical followers want — to devour her brains:

Seriously, if my wife ever is able to convince me to go out in an outfit like this, just shoot me. Sometimes there is nothing more to say.

I have a simple policy of not telling Hello Kitty fanatics where they can get the stuff on this blog. That doesn’t stop those that worship the evil feline from complaining and whining. When they realize that their tantrums have little effect on me, they move onto the next stage of trying to bribe me [...]