Hello Kitty Hell

What do you get from a want-to-be TV reality star teen (Courtney Stodden) who marries a 51-year-old actor (Doug Hutchison)? You get a video like this which Courtney obviously thinks is “cute” (how can you not think that as she coughs up a hairball?) but should help purge your stomach of all if its contents [...]

Do you know when you know it’s time to get out of the rap music business? The instant that someone suggests that you appear in a Hello Kitty music video and you actually accept. How to instantly ruin your rap music career:

As if there was really a need to have one more reason to want this season to end as quickly as possible (see Hello Kitty Christmas trees and Hello Kitty ornaments if you had any doubts), this should quickly put the question to rest: a Hello Kitty Christmas music video that is guaranteed to haunt [...]

While I’m not a big fan of any of the Hello Kitty costumes that are out there, I’m especially horrified with this one. I think that this Hello Kitty mummy cosplay model confirms, without a doubt, that Hello Kitty supports eating disorders:

This really shouldn’t be a surprise. When the evil feline is willing to create a Hello Kitty Darth Vader or a Hello Kitty Klingon, it isn’t a stretch to imagine that she would try to invade absolutely every imaginable franchise including Ghostbusters. So while my eyes bleed at the sickly pink and my brain hurts [...]

I knew that I would probably regret putting together a photo album of all the different Hello Kitty cars that exist, and it sure didn’t take long for the regret to arrive in my email. No sooner had Sammy Bear on facebook asked the question, “Out of all the cars so far…where is a Prius? [...]

There are some things in life that when I see, I give thanks that I was somehow spared from the Hello Kitty Hellishness. That is exactly how I feel about this recent Hello Kitty by Swarovski event in Japan (prepare for 5 minutes of sickening sweetness if you dare to watch this video — I [...]

The title says it all…wait for it…

Yep, this comes way, way too close to home to make me feel comfortable… Sent in by Queenie

This is exactly how my wife thinks all women should dress (seriously) and why she looks forward to Halloween so much. It certainly doesn’t help that she is a huge Rie Miyazawa fan as well which means I have to watch this commercial over and over and over again.

There is never a good reason for anyone to ever have to listen to the Hello Kitty theme song (besides possibly terrorist interrogation). Despite this, not listening to the Hello Kitty theme song is not a realistic possibility if you live with a Hello Kitty fanatic. I guess if one must listen to it, there [...]

Hello Kitty has an official music video, and although it is a terrible song, it does have one highly redeeming value — the words have absolutely nothing to do with Hello Kitty.

One of the most difficult aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is explaining the complete fanaticism of Hello Kitty fanatics to people who have never met one. They simply have no reference, and any sane person would find it unbelievable the lengths that fanatics will go to surround themselves with the evil feline. This [...]

You knew when Hello Kitty came out with an anime series that it wouldn’t be good. What you probably failed to understand was how truly horrid it would be. In her never ending quest to destroy and co-opt anything even remotely popular, the evil feline once again has modded Star Wars in ways that should [...]

You would think that life in the US would be less Hello Kitty Hellish than in Japan, but you’d be wrong. My wife has discovered that in the US she can watch the Hello Kitty Furry Tail Series over and over again. Don’t think it could be that bad? Try watching for 5 minutes without [...]

If there is one thing that the human race absolutely does not need, it is a new Hello Kitty theme song. The fact that the original Hello Kitty theme song is so hideous that it is used by terrorist organizations to break the will of all enemies within minutes goes without saying. This would lead [...]

If you want to thoroughly traumatize your ears and eyes, while at the same time wasting two minutes of your life, all you have to do is listen to the high pitch, diabetes inducing noise of Mano Erina’s song Love & Peace = Paradise (Hello Kitty version of course). Having people scratch their fingernails on [...]

The nightmare for anyone who travels is to somehow find themselves stuck at a Hello Kitty airport getting ready to board a Hello Kitty airplane. For those who live in Hello Kitty Hell and have managed to avoid this fate, the people at Eva Air felt (for some unfathomable reason) that people would like to [...]

I’m not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that they actually make a Hello Kitty radio-controlled truck or the amount of fun that the person seems to be having using it. I kept hoping against hope that someone would walk by and step on the damn thing or that it would fall down [...]

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…