Hello Kitty Hell

You knew when Hello Kitty came out with an anime series that it wouldn’t be good. What you probably failed to understand was how truly horrid it would be. In her never ending quest to destroy and co-opt anything even remotely popular, the evil feline once again has modded Star Wars in ways that should [...]

You would think that life in the US would be less Hello Kitty Hellish than in Japan, but you’d be wrong. My wife has discovered that in the US she can watch the Hello Kitty Furry Tail Series over and over again. Don’t think it could be that bad? Try watching for 5 minutes without [...]

If there is one thing that the human race absolutely does not need, it is a new Hello Kitty theme song. The fact that the original Hello Kitty theme song is so hideous that it is used by terrorist organizations to break the will of all enemies within minutes goes without saying. This would lead [...]

If you want to thoroughly traumatize your ears and eyes, while at the same time wasting two minutes of your life, all you have to do is listen to the high pitch, diabetes inducing noise of Mano Erina’s song Love & Peace = Paradise (Hello Kitty version of course). Having people scratch their fingernails on [...]

The nightmare for anyone who travels is to somehow find themselves stuck at a Hello Kitty airport getting ready to board a Hello Kitty airplane. For those who live in Hello Kitty Hell and have managed to avoid this fate, the people at Eva Air felt (for some unfathomable reason) that people would like to [...]

I’m not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that they actually make a Hello Kitty radio-controlled truck or the amount of fun that the person seems to be having using it. I kept hoping against hope that someone would walk by and step on the damn thing or that it would fall down [...]

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…

I have no doubt that having to sit through a Hello Kitty fashion show would constitute torture to any civilized nation and most people would consider the death penalty appropriate for anyone that actually put one on (miraculously, this is one experience I have yet to endure although my wife still has it on the [...]

You have to question the sanity of any band that would think it’s a good idea to create a song about Hello Kitty. The fact that the band actually thought it would be a good idea pretty much indicates how it is going to be (for those that are unable to understand hint, that was [...]

The fact that Hello Kitty sushi exists is a pretty good damnation of the human race. That the evil feline also encourages fanatics to wear Hello Kitty chopsticks in their hair when she monetises this trend just further proves that all is not right in the world these days.

Sent in by Jessica
Update Mike Mozart reviews [...]

To celebrate her 35th birthday, the people at Sanrio decided to put together the ultimate 2 and a half minute torture video which will surely be used on terrorist until the UN intercedes and declares it inhumane. Unfortunately, they didn’t intercede quickly enough to save me (or you if you are insane enough to watch [...]

Hello Kitty, as has been well established, is disturbing just being herself. It gets more disturbing when people feel it necessary to write books about her. Then it gets even worse when people get a huge crowd to listen to a lecture about a book about Hello Kitty. Basically, it’s everything that you never wanted [...]

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:
Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty [...]

I really didn’t think that there would be anything more disturbing about the Hello Kitty MAC cosmetic line than the line itself, but that once again shows that I haven’t learned that the evil feline can always make things worse. If you have any doubt, take a look at this video (be warned, once you’ve [...]

For those of you who remember the Hello Kitty nun (yeah, I know you really didn’t need to be reminded about that, especially if you had somehow managed to get that image out of your mind, but it gives you a tiny sample of what it’s like to live in Hello Kitty Hell) and imagined [...]

I guess it could have gone without saying since anything that involves Hello Kitty is “creepy” to some extent, but it seems to take on horror film dimensions when a Hello Kitty plush comes to life in the back of a music video. I just sat there watching — waiting for Hello Kitty to produce [...]

When Stephen Colbert endorsed Barack Obama on The Colbert Report, he made the distinction that there is a difference between endorsing and supporting :
There are plenty of things out there that you can endorse, but not do anything to support. For instance, in Japan, I endorse a very popular energy drink called Pow Yong Power [...]

It seems that Hello Kitty fanatics aren’t satisfied with Hello Kitty merely being a cultural ambassador and want her to be more. So is it really a surprise that there would be a movement to get Hello Kitty elected as president?

Yep, this pretty much typifies what I imagine Hell looks like (warning: you don’t want to watch it – spare yourself the trauma and move onto something else. You’ll save yourself from numerous nightmares in the nights to come).

I found this in my email box today – an original Hello Kitty fanatic song by Anna Joy. The song pretty much sums up what it’s like living with a Hello Kitty fanatic…
You can listen to the song at The Ugly Trannies Myspace Page (click the “Hello Kitty” on the player – warning: words NSFW)
You [...]