Hello Kitty Skin Meter

You knew that it would eventually have to happen. Having already Hello Kittified virtually every real gadget out there, the evil feline has decided that it’s necessary to take the next logical step in her plot to take over the world — invent random gadgets that make no sense at all, but which she knows thousands of loyal Hello Kitty fans will buy because it has been Hello Kitty branded. There is no other explanation that can be rendered for the Hello Kitty skin analyser:


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Hello Kitty Dog Hip Dysplasia Orthopedic Brace

You really have to feel sorry for dogs that end up in Hello Kitty fanatic homes. Whether they are putting you in Hello Kitty dog clothes, placing a Hello Kitty muzzle over your nose, putting you in a Hello Kitty doghouse, placing a Hello Kitty head over your own or forcing you to get a Hello Kitty tattoo, life pretty much sucks all the way around. Of course, a Hello Kitty fanatic won’t stop there. When you’re old and you can no longer walk on your own, your owner will promptly embarrass you to no end by getting you a Hello Kitty dysplasia orthopedic brace:


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Hello Kitty Politics Credit Card

While it’s never good when Hello Kitty shows up on TV, it is double troubling when she shows up in a political debate on TV. When your political leaders feel it’s necessary to use Hello Kitty to make any point, you know it’s pretty much time to give up on the world ever being a hospitable place for any normal living being to dwell:


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Hello Kitty Suicide Art Series

While I would much rather not have anything Hello Kitty end up in my email, that is an impossibility when you live in Hello Kitty Hell. Part of the daily torture is waking up each day to see Hello Kitty in all her evilness sent in by too many people with far too much extra time on their hands.

That being said, not all Hello Kitty emails are equal. If I had to choose the Hello Kitty crap sent to me (and let’s face it, if Hello Kitty is on it, is should be considered crap), I would much prefer emails such as the Hello Kitty suicide art series:


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