Hello Kitty Hell

Hmmmmmm. I’m not sure if Hello Kitty finally revealed her true self to the world and I was correct or if Sanrio has seen fit to develop a new Hello Kitty line about my blog in their never ending quest to Hello Kittify everything:

More random Hello Kitty emails that found their way to me recently: This HK Guitar showed up at my house as a gift. Is it from all of the kind comment people on HK Hell, or the disapproving ones who would like me to plug the guitar in with my feet wet? Or did MELLY [...]

More and more people are coming to the realization that if you really want to both punish and humiliate someone, simply force them to wear Hello Kitty. This worked wonders for the Thai police who tagged under-performing officers with a Hello Kitty armband of shame. It appears that major league baseball players have adopted a [...]

There are certainly enough Hello Kitty goods to make anyone instantly say wtf. In fact, they are so plentiful that most people would assume that Hello Kitty must have exhausted her wtf quota, but this assumption would leave you sorely mistaken. There really isn’t any other way to react to the fact that Hello Kitty [...]

It had to happen. If they make Hello Kitty coffee, it was only a matter of time before they started to make Hello Kitty green tea:

Some things were never meant to be made. Hello Kitty was one such thing. Crocs were another. So was there ever really any doubt that the two would be combined to create Hello Kitty crocs?

Hello Kitty is no stranger to extremism, so it seems appropriate that there is a Hello Kitty Jihadist plush out there:

You would think that the one time that I could somewhat escape Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I take weekend trips around Japan. Yes, there will be the evil feline in every store and shop we walk into, but at least I can escape for a short period as we actually travel. [...]

Some things you just can’t make up. The Hello Kitty vibrator shoulder massager is a perfect example. The Hello Kitty love hotel bondage room is another. I have no doubt that the Hello Kitty S&M pink leather flogger also belongs on this list:

It’s never a good day when a celebrity is caught showing off some type of Hello Kitty product and then that photo is sent to me. In the mind of the Hello Kitty fanatic, this somehow legitimizes Hello Kitty. This is my wife’s reasoning — if Anna Paquin is riding around on her Hello Kitty [...]

I hate it when Hello Kitty photos ends up in my email box, but they always take on a bit more severity when that photo is of Hello Kitty food. Case in point, the Hello Kitty sandwich:

The full extent of the Hello Kitty Hellish nightmare that my wife is imagining for our next house is coming into full view. She already has her sights set on a Hello Kitty brick house, and thinks that landscaping the yard with Hello Kitty bushes would add the perfect touch:

I’ll admit it. There have been more than a few occasions where I have wished a horrific demise of the evil feline. It seems that I’m not the only one:

I know that Hello Kitty Hell has moved to an entirely new level when Hello Kitty fanatics not only want to get their tattoos on this blog, but are willing to get me in trouble with my wife to do it. There is really no other way to explain this Hello Kitty angel and devil [...]

It had to happen. It was bad enough that my wife thought I should be wearing the Hello Kitty low rise underwear, but you can imagine my shock when they arrived at our door in three additional patterns as well:

While all things Hello Kitty defy logic, some of them defy logic more than others. A prime example of the latter is the Hello Kitty hair salon:

I know that it’s going to be an extra awful and down right hideous Hello Kitty Hellish day when a photo of Hello Kitty and Paris Hilton combined makes its way into my email box:

Because there has never been a gun that Hello Kitty could keep her face off, here is yet another Hello Kitty machine gun:

The problem with Hello Kitty Hell is that even something that is already far more horrendous than most people can imagine without wanting to physically hurt themselves can be made infinitely worse by additions that the Hello Kitty fanatic wants to make. Take, for example, the Hello Kitty house. Most people would take one look [...]

Many people are aware of the Hello Kitty Darth Vader that was photoshopped, but what many aren’t aware of is that someone who saw that photoshop thought (for some reason that nobody that is sane will quite understand) it would actually be a good idea to create a real life Hello Kitty Darth Vader costume [...]