Monthly Archives: August 2009

Hello Kitty Hell Pen

Hmmmmmm. I’m not sure if Hello Kitty finally revealed her true self to the world and I was correct or if Sanrio has seen fit to develop a new Hello Kitty line about my blog in their never ending quest to Hello Kittify everything:

Posted in Hello Kitty | 27 Comments

Hello Kitty Hell Emails

More random Hello Kitty emails that found their way to me recently: This HK Guitar showed up at my house as a gift. Is it from all of the kind comment people on HK Hell, or the disapproving ones who would like me to plug the guitar in with my feet wet? Or did MELLY send it to me? She has my PIN number. Thank You, HKH, Jeanne, Monterey Bay, California By the look on her face, that cat still … Continue reading

Posted in Hello Kitty | 25 Comments

Hello Kitty Major League Baseball Punishment

More and more people are coming to the realization that if you really want to both punish and humiliate someone, simply force them to wear Hello Kitty. This worked wonders for the Thai police who tagged under-performing officers with a Hello Kitty armband of shame. It appears that major league baseball players have adopted a similar approach with the Hello Kitty backpack of shame:

Posted in Fashion, Sports, Strange | 17 Comments

Hello Kitty Spam Sushi

There are certainly enough Hello Kitty goods to make anyone instantly say wtf. In fact, they are so plentiful that most people would assume that Hello Kitty must have exhausted her wtf quota, but this assumption would leave you sorely mistaken. There really isn’t any other way to react to the fact that Hello Kitty Spam sushi exists:

Posted in Food, Strange | 41 Comments

Hello Kitty Green Tea

It had to happen. If they make Hello Kitty coffee, it was only a matter of time before they started to make Hello Kitty green tea:

Posted in Drinks, Health | 28 Comments

Hello Kitty Crocs

Some things were never meant to be made. Hello Kitty was one such thing. Crocs were another. So was there ever really any doubt that the two would be combined to create Hello Kitty crocs?

Posted in Clothes, Fashion | 33 Comments

Jihadist Plush – Suicide Bomber $5 Extra

Hello Kitty is no stranger to extremism, so it seems appropriate that there is a Hello Kitty Jihadist plush out there:

Posted in Clothes, Fashion, Plush, Toys | 57 Comments

Hello Kitty Bus

You would think that the one time that I could somewhat escape Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I take weekend trips around Japan. Yes, there will be the evil feline in every store and shop we walk into, but at least I can escape for a short period as we actually travel. That, of course, assumes that the Hello Kitty fanatic doesn’t know about the many Hello Kitty buses that dot Japan (which my wife most definitely … Continue reading

Posted in Strange, Travel, Vehicle | 40 Comments

Hello Kitty S&M Flogger

Some things you just can’t make up. The Hello Kitty vibrator shoulder massager is a perfect example. The Hello Kitty love hotel bondage room is another. I have no doubt that the Hello Kitty S&M pink leather flogger also belongs on this list:

Posted in Sex, Strange | 39 Comments

Hello Kitty Anna Paquin Beach Cruiser

It’s never a good day when a celebrity is caught showing off some type of Hello Kitty product and then that photo is sent to me. In the mind of the Hello Kitty fanatic, this somehow legitimizes Hello Kitty. This is my wife’s reasoning — if Anna Paquin is riding around on her Hello Kitty beach cruiser, that must mean that Hello Kitty beach cruisers are cool because even the celebrities want to ride around on them:

Posted in Celebrities, Gadgets, Vehicle | 31 Comments

Hello Kitty Sandwich

I hate it when Hello Kitty photos ends up in my email box, but they always take on a bit more severity when that photo is of Hello Kitty food. Case in point, the Hello Kitty sandwich:

Posted in Art, Food | 32 Comments

Hello Kitty Plant

The full extent of the Hello Kitty Hellish nightmare that my wife is imagining for our next house is coming into full view. She already has her sights set on a Hello Kitty brick house, and thinks that landscaping the yard with Hello Kitty bushes would add the perfect touch:

Posted in Art, Decor, Strange | 21 Comments

Hello Kitty Goodbye Kitty

I’ll admit it. There have been more than a few occasions where I have wished a horrific demise of the evil feline. It seems that I’m not the only one:

Posted in Art | 29 Comments

Hello Kitty Angel Devil Tattoo

I know that Hello Kitty Hell has moved to an entirely new level when Hello Kitty fanatics not only want to get their tattoos on this blog, but are willing to get me in trouble with my wife to do it. There is really no other way to explain this Hello Kitty angel and devil tattoo photo:

Posted in Sex, Tattoo | 41 Comments

Hello Kitty Men’s Underwear Additions

It had to happen. It was bad enough that my wife thought I should be wearing the Hello Kitty low rise underwear, but you can imagine my shock when they arrived at our door in three additional patterns as well:

Posted in Clothes, Fashion, Sex, Strange | 66 Comments

Hello Kitty Hair Salon

While all things Hello Kitty defy logic, some of them defy logic more than others. A prime example of the latter is the Hello Kitty hair salon:

Posted in Beauty, Strange | 41 Comments

Hello Kitty Paris Hilton Dress

I know that it’s going to be an extra awful and down right hideous Hello Kitty Hellish day when a photo of Hello Kitty and Paris Hilton combined makes its way into my email box:

Posted in Celebrities, Clothes, Fashion | 29 Comments

Hello Kitty Machine Gun

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice … Continue reading

Posted in Guns, Strange | 28 Comments

Hello Kitty Brick

The problem with Hello Kitty Hell is that even something that is already far more horrendous than most people can imagine without wanting to physically hurt themselves can be made infinitely worse by additions that the Hello Kitty fanatic wants to make. Take, for example, the Hello Kitty house. Most people would take one look at that and pull out a Hello Kitty gun to quickly end their misery. The Hello Kitty fanatic, on the other hand, decides what the … Continue reading

Posted in Decor, Strange | 28 Comments

Hello Kitty Darth Vader (not photoshopped)

Update: Only in the deepest depths of Hello Kitty Hell could someone imagine it would be a good idea to make Darth Vader wear a pink skirt. and then actually make it into a costume. For some unfathomable and unfortunate reason Let the Wookie Win decided to show me these depths: Seriously, one would think that people would tend to shy away from a terrible idea once it had been done (and graphically shown what a horrendous idea it really … Continue reading

Posted in Fashion, Strange | 41 Comments