Hello Kitty Hell

Seriously, there is absolutely nothing that the Hello Kitty won’t try and stick her claws into. Apparently Japanese haiku poetry, through its long and illustrious history, was still missing something vitally important — the evil feline’s commercialization. She promptly resolved this oversight with a haiku poetry book titled Hello Kitty Through The Seasons:

In the never ending display of Hello Kitty combo tattoos that make absolutely no sense and will undoubtedly seem just as smart to have gotten 25 years from now, we have yet another entry — the Hello Kitty Pinhead tattoo.

Sent in by far too many people…

What is it with Hello Kitty fanatics and Hello Kitty plush fashion? Seriously, it’s one of the most disturbing trends for the simple fact that someone with absolutely no fashion sense can look at it and know instantly that they would never be caught dead in something like that. It’s bad enough that these types [...]

This is definitely going to be a long and horrifying Halloween if this is any indication of the Hello Kitty Halloween costumes that will be finding their way into my mailbox over the next few days. If you can be judged by the friends you keep, this pretty much explains the Hello Kitty I know…

Sent [...]

You know that the results are not going to be good when a Hello Kitty fanatic has a lot of money. The one fact that we could console ourselves with when seeing the Hello Kitty Ferrari was that it was photoshopped, but you knew it was simply a matter of time that a Hello Kitty [...]

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…

There are some things about Hello Kitty fanatics I just don’t want to know. Apparently there is a a rave called Bloodfest where “the Infamous Boom Boom does his blood bath performance which is basically simulated sex in a tub full of blood and bones.” This year Boom Boom incorporated the below Hello Kitty plush [...]

The thing that I fear most in Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I have kids. It’s an absolutely no win situation, fist and foremost, because she will want to have the baby conceived in a Hello Kitty bondage room and delivered in a Hello Kitty maternity ward. If it’s a baby boy, [...]

A few more reasons that my sanity is happy that I was able to avoid the entire Three Apples art exhibit and 35th anniversary celebration in person — There was no doubt that the Hello Kitty fanatics would be out in droves with their corresponding hideous Hello Kitty fashion outfits:

Left on twitter by aminerat (via [...]

I’m really not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that Hello Kitty roller coasters even exist or that a grown male would insist on sitting in the front of one…

Sent in by kristy

The evil feline has no shame. It was obvious that the entire Three Apples 35th Anniversary celebration was going to be Pepto Bismol pink Hell from the beginning, and the appearance of Paris Hilton made things that much worse. Now that photos from the event are being sent to me left and right (seriously folks, [...]

It has always seemed that Hello Kitty has been subtly letting me know how she feels about me. While my wife insists that the 1974 pose is Hello Kitty sucking her finger, it seems that she is doing something a little different with her middle finger to me. Well, it turns out that the evil [...]

One would imagine that it really couldn’t get worse than the Hello Kitty fetish underwear, but then that would be highly underestimating the evil feline. Long after any normal person would stop and say, “Okay, this really has gone way too far,” Hello kitty is looking for ways to stretch the bounds of human reason [...]

Have you ever wondered what is lurking inside Hello Kitty? Seriously, was there ever really any doubt?

Sent in by maureen (via anime photos)

It pains me greatly to have to write the evil feline’s name each time I make a new post on this blog. The simple fact that I had to type Hello Kitty twice for the title of this post should be enough to warn you that what you are about to see isn’t going to [...]

In yet another example that this Hello Kitty 35th anniversary celebration has gone way past the point of sanity, Sanrio invited Portuguese fashion designer Maria Gambina to create a unique fashion piece – the results being the Hello Kitty burqa:

If you ever end up living with a fanatic of the evil feline, take a small piece of advice that will save you countless instances of humiliation from both friends and strangers. Never, ever, get a joint bank account with a Hello Kitty fanatic. This may seem like advice you can ignore, but you’ll quickly [...]

One of the many (many, many…) problems with Hello Kitty fanatics is their desire to make everything cute. This includes things that were never meant to be cute such as one’s internal organs. So it’s really no surprise that what is really inside you and what the evil feline wants all to believe is inside [...]

It’s never, ever a good sign when there is a squeal of delight the second that my wife sees a photo of the evil feline. If it is something that can’t be bought, then my wife wants to go to where ever the Hello Kitty thing is located so she can say she has seen [...]

My was already a fan of Lady Gaga due to her Hello Kitty hair bow and visit to Japan where she professed her love of the evil feline. This has only grown as Lady Gaga posed for a Markus & Indrani photo shoot for the Three Apples art collection (yet another reason to avoid this [...]