Hello Kitty Hell

One would hope that it would be possible to escape the evil feline every now and again, but Hello Kitty always does her best to make sure that isn’t possible. Even a trip to the local beach is wrought with the risk of coming across a 26 foot tall Hello Kitty balloon (with all her [...]

Apparently there is a rumor going around that Hello Kitty was created as a result of a pact with the devil. While I would like to claim that this idea was mine (hey, I live in Hello Kitty Hell), it turns out that this episode is far more sinister: The story is how Hello Kitty [...]

What does the evil feline do when she has plastered herself on a Keltec pistol? You get the fanatics to make it appear that it is all about peace and love (while you continue to add to your stockpile of Hello Kitty weapons so that you can eventually take over the world) Sent in by [...]

You either had to have done something amazingly horrible in a past life or pissed off your co-workers to no end to deserve to have something like this done to your office cubicle. Either way, it is a good sign that it’s time to find a new job. I think this might even qualify as [...]

H. P. Lovecraft is likely turning in his grave (and stunned that his creation could be made so much more horrific). It is already well known that there should be a law forbidding Hello Kitty tattoo combinations. The Hello Kitty Cthulhu tattoo simply furthers this fact… Left by Jenna on facebook

It is never a good idea to get a Hello Kitty tattoo, but I guess if you are going to get one, exposing the true side of the evil feline is the way to go. Now you know exactly what you will see when your time is up… Sent in by christine

One would assume that there were certain sports that would be free of the evil feline such as fishing. of course, this would be greatly underestimating Hello Kitty’s desire to place her face on absolutely everything. No longer can a fisherman request fishing gear as a birthday gift without the risk of something like this [...]

The one thing that that you can be certain of is that the evil feline will always find some bizarre niche that nobody would ever think of to continue to sell herself. The Hello Kitty S&M voodoo doll is further proof of that: Sent in by tiffany

You probably believe that when the end of the world arrives, things are going to get bad. What you don’t realise is just how bad that may be. I have no doubt this is exactly what you will see staring at you — and you will instantly know that there is no hope.

One would assume that Hello Kitty had covered all the water options ( the Hello Kitty water dispenser — Hello Kitty regular bottled water — Hello Kitty premium bottled water — Hello Kitty body shaped mineral water — Hello Kitty skin water), but that would be greatly underestimating her ability to find new markets. Apparently, [...]

Proof positive that a meme has gone way to far is when the evil feline thinks it’s a good idea to be part of it:

Now even full size pools aren’t safe from the evil feline:

There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers, Hello Kitty pasties, [...]

One would assume that having the evil feline cut out fruit in the shape of her face and marketing fruit under her own brand (and we aren’t going to even touch the Hello Kitty banana cover) would be enough to satisfy her fruitful dominance cravings, but that, of course, would be highly underestimating what Hello [...]

It is already well established that Hello Kitty fanatics love their claws. One would assume seeing that sampling of what Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to do to their nails pretty much sums up the worst of the worst, but that would be highly underestimating Hello Kitty fanatics. Case in point: the Hello Kitty pedicure:

Further proof that the evil feline can be found on absolutely anything that is being sold: Hello Kitty motor oil:

While one would assume that Hello Kitty had enough weaponry in her current collection, she feels the need to continue to add to it (further proof that she plans to start her own army) every chance she gets. The latest weapon to be added to her cache is the Hello Kitty Keltec plr-16 pistol:

There is not much in life that I can be thankful to the evil feline for, but one thing is that I will never get sick again. I already made this decision when I ran into the Hello Kitty scrubs (or if I do, I will just let myself die instead of letting myself suffer [...]

Living in Hello Kitty Hell ensures that there are plenty of mentally traumatic experiences that have to be survived on a regular basis. That being said, some of these are much more traumatic than others. The existence of Hello Kitty low rise underwear for men was one such instance and became even more traumatic when [...]

There was one point that the only thing I hadn’t seen was Hello Kitty pizza and Hello Kitty beer (which, of course, I have since seen). One would assume that this would pretty much indicate that the world was coming to an end and there would be no need to go any further, but that [...]