Category Archives: Strange

Hello Kitty Eminem Rap God Cat God Video

How do you know that the world is about to end? When the cat-with-no-mouth suddenly finds that she has one upon deciding that it’s a good idea to take Eminem’s song Rap God and do her Cat God interpretation. No, I’m not making any of that up — and you would be wise to trust me on that and just walk away from your computer screen because if you choose to watch the video, it can never be unseen. There … Continue reading

Posted in Music, Strange, Videos | 5 Comments

The Hello Kitty McDonald’s McArch

Well, let’s certainly hope that this isn’t a trend that catches on and spreads to other countries. Apparently the evil feline decided to sleep with Ronald McDonald and the result was the ugliest thing you can imagine. Yes, it appears that their night of romance (apparently Kitty chan forgot to tell Ronald to use her branded condoms — or more likely, she did and they simply failed to work) produced the Hello Kitty McArch: I see that this as further … Continue reading

Posted in Business, Strange | 4 Comments

Hello Kitty Butt Plugs Should Make You Cringe

When you live in the type of hell that I do, it’s a major risk opening up email each morning. While I never escape completely unscathed from the torment that the evil feline throws my way, there are definitely some days that are much worse than others. Today was one of those days. That’s because you absolutely know that things have gone terribly wrong in the world when you open up an email to see Hello Kitty butt plugs (clear … Continue reading

Posted in Sex, Strange | 11 Comments

Hello Kitty Sea Cruise

As if having airplanes covered with the cat-with-no-mouth wasn’t bad enough, the shipping industry feels that they should also get into the act of torturing most of society. A company called Star Cruises has launched a Hello Kitty themed cruise on two of its ships (the SuperStar Virgo and SuperStar Libra) that will run through December 29, 2013. The excruciating painful trip will include having to spend time on the ship with Dear Daniel, My Melody and Bad Batz Maru … Continue reading

Posted in Strange, Vehicle | 4 Comments

Hello Kitty Car Engine

There are many ways to ruin a car. For fanatics of the one-with-no-mouth, this is an everyday occurrence that they seem able to accomplish without even giving it a second thought. For the true fanatic, however, simply ruining a car is far too mundane. They want to take it to a level that not only makes everyone ask “wtf? Why would anyone do that?” but also makes them cringe that something like it exists in the world. If we are … Continue reading

Posted in Strange, Vehicle | 6 Comments

Hello Kitty Breast Pump

One of the most disturbing aspects of the evil feline is her insistence of being a part of every bodily function a person has. She wants to be there when you defecate in the form of what you use, what you wipe yourself with (in a a variety of patterns including KISS) and where your waste eventually ends up. Then she insists on being around when it’s that time of the month and when things need to be refreshed down … Continue reading

Posted in Baby, Gadgets, Strange | Leave a comment

Hello Kitty Caterpillar

One of the disturbing tendencies of fanatics of the evil feline is that they they go around trying to see her in other things. When Jesus was found on toast, the fanatical throngs immediately felt that the one-with-no-mouth deserved to be treated with just as much adoration. Sanrio, believing their own hype (plus seeing an opportunity to make a buck), decided the only way to rectify the situation was to make a toaster so that fanatics could create Hello Kitty … Continue reading

Posted in Strange | 5 Comments

Hello Kitty Breaking Bad Cell Phone for Sale

You know that all is not right in the world when the evil feline shows up on the TV series Breaking Bad. Obviously the placement had something to do with her insecurity of anything being more popular that herself, and weaseling her way in to be a part of it. The people at Sanrio probably also felt that one of the few untapped markets that they have failed to exploit up to this point for their goods is among drug … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Strange | 5 Comments

Hello Kitty Gravestone

One would hope that it would be possible to escape the evil feline upon death, but fanatics are doing everything within their power to guarantee that this is not the case. It’s a good bet that if you live with a fanatic, you’re going to end up in the ground in one of her coffins. It’s an even better bet that upon that coffin you will end up with an arrangement of horrifying flowers. And of course, how could a … Continue reading

Posted in Strange | 71 Comments

Hello Kitty Terminator Cake

Well, we all instinctively know that there is nothing close to being soft, sweet or lovable under the skin of the evil feline. So what are you to do if you are given the unfortunate task of making a cake that shows what you’ll find under her matted fur? You make exactly what you imagined you’d find, and that would result in something along the lines of a Hello Kitty Terminator cake: Of course, the scary part is that we … Continue reading

Posted in Food, Strange | 4 Comments

Hello Kitty Fireworks

One would assume that going to a fireworks display would be one of the few places that one would be safe from the claws of the evil feline. Of course, the assumption would be terribly and painfully incorrect. Somewhere, someone decided that creating a Hello Kitty firework would be a good idea (My personal guess is that the person thinking it was a good idea was a Sanrio employee with a one of the many guns in her arsenal pointed … Continue reading

Posted in Strange | 4 Comments

Airline Boarding Pass Machines

It seems that the TSA has figured out a less expensive and 100% effective way to make the skies safe. Instead of spending hundreds of millions of dollars to screen each individual before going into the boarding area, they have figured out how to get those without any common sense to reveal themselves (probably without them even realizing it). There would really be no other logical reason for the Hello Kitty boarding pass machines (unless there is a secret campaign … Continue reading

Posted in Strange, Travel | 3 Comments

Baby Tattoo

One of the worst parts of knowing someone who loves the cat-with-no-mouth is that they can’t keep their fanaticism to themselves. They feel the uncontrollable desire to make everyone in their life as miserable as possible by making everything about the Sanrio character which everyone with an ounce of common sense loathes with a passion. While that in itself is painful enough for the vast majority of us living in Hello Kitty Hell, the fanatics can’t leave it there (surprise, … Continue reading

Posted in Baby, Strange, Tattoo | 11 Comments

Vajazzle (NSFW)

Although I have come to the inevitable (although still excruciatingly painful) realization that I’m going to eventually see everything succumb to the branding of the evil feline at some point, there are still things that end up in my email that I hope for the sanity of the human race never become trends. The Hello Kitty vajazzle is most definitely one of those things:

Posted in Fashion, Sex, Strange | 5 Comments

Flask

There is a never ending conflict that the evil feline must address on what is more important to her — living up to the expectation that she has as a role model of love and friendship for the young, or making money. Obviously the “love and friendship” side won out with the Hello Kitty flask, because we all know how important it is to impress upon children the need to consume

Posted in Drinks, Strange | 6 Comments

Chicken Reversible Plush

If there was ever any doubt that the people at Sanrio aren’t even trying anymore (and there really is no doubt at all), the latest Hello Kitty creation should even convince the most skeptical. It has become readily apparent that they know that no matter what they make, fanatics of the evil feline will buy it. Case in point, the Hello Kitty chicken reversible plush:

Posted in Plush, Strange, Toys | 16 Comments

Lips

With her never-ending fascination with all things oral (even though she doesn’t have a mouth), it really shouldn’t be much of a surprise that fanatics would think that drawing the evil feline on their lips would be a good idea. Of course, that means the rest of us who possess even a tiny bit of sanity end up having to try to erase from our minds the image of Hello kitty lips:

Posted in Fashion, Strange | 4 Comments

Breast Implants

It’s not often that I sigh in relief when I’m sent some evil feline monstrosity, but today was one of those days. I was sent the following photo labeled as Hello Kitty breast implants, but it appears that in reality they are nothing more than soap bars. That sigh of relief, however, does come with a very dark and disturbing side. The relief I felt only could manifest because I knew in my heart that Hello Kitty breast implants were … Continue reading

Posted in Strange | 21 Comments

Braids

I’m not sure what it is with the evil feline and hair. Fanatics, in their delusional exuberance, feel that shaving the cat with no mouth into their hair is a good idea. Or turning their hair into a bow. Or going out and buying a Hello Kitty wig. And let’s not forget that there’s actually a Kitty hair salon. One would think that these people would have embarrassed themselves enough with all of this, but apparently not (which really shouldn’t … Continue reading

Posted in Beauty, Fashion, Strange | 10 Comments

Shower Head

When it comes to the evil feline, there are few things worse than having to confront her in the early morning before you are fully awake. With the last remnants of sleep still keeping your mind somewhat foggy, there’s absolutely no way to believe anything other than you’re suspended in some intensely bad dream when confronted with Miss Kitty and all her horrors. Knowing this, the Hello Kitty shower head is one of the most evil and sheer terror producing … Continue reading

Posted in Gadgets, Strange | 9 Comments