One would imagine that there would be certain sports where Hello Kitty, no matter how hard she tried, would never be accepted. Of course, that would once again greatly underestimating the evil feline and her quest to put her face absolutely every where. For those of you who still doubt, here is the Hello Kitty extreme cage fighter:
Hello Kitty has an official music video, and although it is a terrible song, it does have one highly redeeming value — the words have absolutely nothing to do with Hello Kitty.
In the never ending line of Hello Kitty tattoos that make you thankful that you have at least an ounce of common sense, we now add the Hello Kitty Por Vida tattoo. I’m sure there will never be any regrets here with this tattoo just as there are never any regrets of forever giving your life to a gang…
Sent in by Senorita Cheeba
I must have really done something really (and I mean beyond belief)terrible in my last life because there simply is not another explanation as to why I have found myself suffering in Hello Kitty Hell. There are very few things in the world that I can think of that would be worse than being the significant other of a Hello Kitty fanatic. One of those few things is being the pet of a Hello Kitty fanatic because you end up on the street looking like this:
Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:
Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.
And onto the original post…
The evil feline can never have enough weapons to arm her hoards of fanatics when it comes time to forcibly take over the world. Another Hello Kitty pink hand gun to add to that collection:
Sent in by Shelly
One of the most difficult aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is explaining the complete fanaticism of Hello Kitty fanatics to people who have never met one. They simply have no reference, and any sane person would find it unbelievable the lengths that fanatics will go to surround themselves with the evil feline. This video gives a taste of what every Hello Kitty fanatic would like their house to look like (my wife is certainly doing her utmost to equal, if not surpass, it).
If there is one thing that you can say about Hello Kitty fanatics, it is that they have created far more than their fair share of what becomes major tattoo regret the second they realize what that have inked on their bodies. One would think that the Hello Kitty fanatic would learn something from this and decide that Hello Kitty tattoo combinations are to be avoided at all cost. Of course, you would be wrong as the Hello Kitty Hannibal Lecter tattoo once again demonstrates that there is no end to the number of Hello Kitty tattoos that make you shake your head and wonder “wtf were they thinking?”:
What do you get the Hello Kitty fanatic in your life for Valentine’s Day? Apparently, the evil feline knows exactly what her fanatical followers want — to devour her brains:
I would put visiting the dentist pretty much up there with living in Hello Kitty Hell. When you put the two together, you basically have the makings for a complete horror show where stuff like the Hello Kitty tooth becomes a permanent fixture in your mouth after getting a Hello Kitty root canal.
One would assume that the Hello Kitty tooth would make all Hello Kitty fanatics come to their senses and simply admit that Hello Kitty x dentistry will never go together, but once again you would be underestimating the lengths that Hello Kitty will go to get her image on absolutely everything. Thus, the Hello Kitty retainer was born:
There are some combinations that just should never go together. Hello Kitty x Jesus. Hello Kitty x S&M room. Hello Kitty x Men’s underwear (I could go on and on, but I would rather not have your suicide attempt traced back to this blog). Of course, Hello Kitty continually adds to this list. Case and point — Hello Kitty x chainsaw:
Hello Kitty continues her quest to make sure nobody ever wants to eat again (or at least immeasurably suffer when it comes to eating food). Apparently being able to punch faces of Hello Kitty out of seaweed isn’t enough for the evil feline. For those that feel that it is too much effort to punch Hello Kitty’s face (oh how that would be so much better of a sentence if it was being used in a different context), you can now actually buy seaweed that has Hello Kitty on it:
Sent in by Peter