When it comes to ruining foods, look no further than the evil feline. Her latest endeavor in her never ending quest to put the Hello Kitty name on anything and everything in the world is the creation of Hello Kitty Cheetos:
There aren’t many things covered with the evil feline’s face that I can get into, but anything that allows me to piss on Hello Kitty is far better than most of the other crap that invades my life. For example, if I have a choice of all the Hello Kitty crap at target or a Hello Kitty urinal target, I would obviously choose the latter. Along the same lines, if I have a choice between a Hello Kitty pregnant cake and Hello Kitty urinal cakes, I’d go for the cake that allows me to relieve myself on them with a plausible defense so there is a slight possibility I might avoid getting sent to the couch to sleep in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the month:
I guess it was a far too hopeful for me to wish that Hello Kitty could ever be satisfied with the torture that she unleashed on all the significant others of Hello Kitty fanatics with her horrifying Hello Kitty ice-cream because she decided for some unfathomable reason that she also needed a Hello Kitty popsicle version:
The biggest problem with posting any type of food on this blog (such as yesterday’s Hello Kitty pretzels) is that Hello Kitty fanatics feel it’s somehow their duty in life to send me more Hello Kitty food atrocities. Thus I have things like Hello Kitty gingerbread raisin cookies show up to ensure that I continue to live in Hello Kitty Hell and fear every type of food out there.
If you live in Hello Kitty Hell, you quickly learn that it is never a good idea to mention Hello Kitty and a food product in the same sentence. If you do, the result is often quite unfortunate and you end up with things like Hello Kitty pretzels in front of you: