Category Archives: Food

Hello Kitty Terminator Cake

Well, we all instinctively know that there is nothing close to being soft, sweet or lovable under the skin of the evil feline. So what are you to do if you are given the unfortunate task of making a cake that shows what you’ll find under her matted fur? You make exactly what you imagined you’d find, and that would result in something along the lines of a Hello Kitty Terminator cake: Of course, the scary part is that we … Continue reading

Posted in Food, Strange | 4 Comments

Strawberries

One of the first things that you learn when you have a Hello Kitty fanatic in your midst is that they believe everything should be fashioned into the evil feline whether it makes sense or not. This is readily apparent with food which for some unfathomable reason, must bear the face of the cat with no mouth no matter what it happens to be. In what now appears to be a quest to ruin all fruits that are out there, … Continue reading

Posted in Food | 6 Comments

Maple Syrup

I guess this really should be expected. With all the types of Hello Kitty breakfasts including pancakes and waffles, you knew that the evil feline wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to make even more money on everyone’s morning meal. So it makes perfect sense (in a horrible, “why am I still living in this world?” sort of way) that there would be Hello Kitty maple syrup:

Posted in Food | 6 Comments

Corn Flakes

You knew that it was simply a matter of time. First it was Hello Kitty toast and coffee. Then came the Hello Kitty eggs (both scrambled and hard boiled) and Hello Kitty bacon (and sausage) which soon lead to Hello Kitty pancakes and Hello Kitty waffles Once the Hello Kitty Fruit Loops made their appearance, did you really think it would stop there? Hello Kitty is determined to take over every part of breakast and she is now going through … Continue reading

Posted in Food | 16 Comments

Hello Kitty Bacon

When everything good in the world meets everything wrong with the world and wrong wins, the unfortunate and all too terrifying result is Hello Kitty bacon…

Posted in Food, Strange | 18 Comments

Hello Kitty Soft Taco Tortilla

One of the worst parts of living in Hello Kitty Hell is how the evil feline manages to ruin all types of food. It has already been well established that no food is off limits to her commercialization, and she once again proves that with stunning clarity. Anyone who loves Mexican food should be shedding more than a few tears over the Hello Kitty soft taco tortilla:

Posted in Food | 7 Comments

Hello Kitty Watermelon

I figured that if I could survive the excruciating pain of having to see all the hideous Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkin creations, I would no longer have to worry about the evil feline being carved into fruits. Unfortunately, I once again greatly underestimated the true diabolical nature within her soul when I was shown a carved Hello Kitty watermelon:

Posted in Art, Food, Strange | 6 Comments

Hello Kitty’s Birthday

If you have to ask “When is Hello Kitty’s birthday?” or don’t instantly know that it’s November 1, 1974, then consider yourself one of the luckiest people on the planet. If you do know that November first is Hello Kitty’s birthday, you either have been endowed with an unfortunate intellect which for some unimaginable reason gives you the misguided sense to be a fanatic, or have the truly horrible misfortune to be close to a fanatic. And while it’s a … Continue reading

Posted in Food, Hello Kitty | 31 Comments

Hello Kitty Halloween Obento

It’s bad enough that Hello Kitty puts herself all over typical Halloween themes like Hello Kitty pumpkins and Hello Kitty costumes. It’s a stretch when the evil feline starts appearing on Halloween cupcakes and Halloween cookies. You know that there’s absolutely no boundaries when she shows up on a Halloween car, Halloween finger nails and in a Hello Kitty Halloween obento:

Posted in Food | 7 Comments

Hello Kitty Halloween Cookies

I guess I should have expected it. If there are Hello Kitty Halloween cupcakes, was there really any doubt that there would also be Hello Kitty Halloween cookies as well?

Posted in Food, Holiday | 3 Comments

Hello Kitty Cheetos

When it comes to ruining foods, look no further than the evil feline. Her latest endeavor in her never ending quest to put the Hello Kitty name on anything and everything in the world is the creation of Hello Kitty Cheetos:

Posted in Food | 29 Comments

Hello Kitty Popsicles

I guess it was a far too hopeful for me to wish that Hello Kitty could ever be satisfied with the torture that she unleashed on all the significant others of Hello Kitty fanatics with her horrifying Hello Kitty ice-cream because she decided for some unfathomable reason that she also needed a Hello Kitty popsicle version:

Posted in Food | 13 Comments

Hello Kitty Gingerbread Raisin Cookies

The biggest problem with posting any type of food on this blog (such as yesterday’s Hello Kitty pretzels) is that Hello Kitty fanatics feel it’s somehow their duty in life to send me more Hello Kitty food atrocities. Thus I have things like Hello Kitty gingerbread raisin cookies show up to ensure that I continue to live in Hello Kitty Hell and fear every type of food out there.

Posted in Food | 8 Comments

Hello Kitty Pretzel

If you live in Hello Kitty Hell, you quickly learn that it is never a good idea to mention Hello Kitty and a food product in the same sentence. If you do, the result is often quite unfortunate and you end up with things like Hello Kitty pretzels in front of you:

Posted in Food | 10 Comments

Hello Kitty Valentine Chocolate

I should know better. Hello Kitty fanatics waste absolutely no time spreading the torture of the upcoming holiday at hand. With the beginning of a new month, I should have known that it was going to be a mistake to open any email that had Hello Kitty and <3 in the title. Apparently Hello Kitty fanatics aren’t satisfied with hearts on Valentine’s Day and feel that it is necessary to include Hello Kitty chocolate in the mix as well:

Posted in Food, Holiday | 25 Comments

Hello Kitty Scrambled Eggs

Hello Kitty fanatics have a way of ruining breakfast. Be it Hello Kitty coffee, Hello Kitty waffles or Hello Kitty pancakes, there is always the danger that the evil feline will show up on your plate while you’re still half asleep to scare the hell out of you for the rest of the day. I know because this has happened to me far to often. We can now add another possible breakfast horror to the list — Hello Kitty scrambled … Continue reading

Posted in Food | 12 Comments

Hello Kitty Onigiri

Having a Hello Kitty fanatic in your life is bad. Really bad. So bad that nobody except those suffering through their own Hello Kitty Hell can even understand. My sympathies go out to you, but is actually can be worse. Seriously, I don’t think that there can be something quite as terrifying and sadistic as a follower of the evil feline that also likes to cook. All you have to do is look at Hello Kitty sushi (or even worse, … Continue reading

Posted in Food | 15 Comments

Hello Kitty Frozen Beef Patty

Add cows to the growing list of animals that despise the evil feline. Apparently, Hello Kitty didn’t feel that creating Hello Kitty hamburgers was enough and decided that she also needed to brand Hello Kitty frozen beef patties as well:

Posted in Food, Strange | 11 Comments

Hello Kitty Canned Pasta With Sauce

One would think that the mere fact that Hello Kitty pasta exists would be enough to satisfy the evil feline in the area of pasta, but that would be greatly underestimating the desire of Hello Kitty to take over the world. So the next obvious step was for the people at Sanrio to help develop Hello Kitty canned pasta:

Posted in Food | 16 Comments

Hello Kitty Halloween Cupcakes

All I can say is that I’ll be damn glad when Halloween is over…

Posted in Food, Holiday | 16 Comments