Hello Kitty Hell

The evil feline has no shame. It was obvious that the entire Three Apples 35th Anniversary celebration was going to be Pepto Bismol pink Hell from the beginning, and the appearance of Paris Hilton made things that much worse. Now that photos from the event are being sent to me left and right (seriously folks, [...]

It pains me greatly to have to write the evil feline’s name each time I make a new post on this blog. The simple fact that I had to type Hello Kitty twice for the title of this post should be enough to warn you that what you are about to see isn’t going to [...]

One of the many (many, many…) problems with Hello Kitty fanatics is their desire to make everything cute. This includes things that were never meant to be cute such as one’s internal organs. So it’s really no surprise that what is really inside you and what the evil feline wants all to believe is inside [...]

Sometimes there are Hello Kitty combinations that are just so hideous that even attempting to describe the disgust is useless. Hello Kitty Smurfs is a perfect example of this:

Left on facebook by Angelia

To celebrate her 35th birthday, the people at Sanrio decided to put together the ultimate 2 and a half minute torture video which will surely be used on terrorist until the UN intercedes and declares it inhumane. Unfortunately, they didn’t intercede quickly enough to save me (or you if you are insane enough to watch [...]

I would basically like to wipe the entire Hello Kitty MAC cosmetic line — and the advertising they did — completely from my mind due to the traumatizing effect it caused that I’m still recovering from. It’s difficult to have a positive outlook on life when you have seen the MAC make-up video and [...]

Let me make it perfectly clear that I have no desire to ever have any type of Hello Kitty plush in my life. If, however, I was forced to pick one that I had to have, the Hello Kitty head mount would definitely give the Hello Kitty tarred plush a run for her money.

Even though it is quite clear that Hello Kitty and art don’t mix, that doesn’t stop the evil feline from trying to be a part of the art world. Apparently Sanrio is throwing a Hello Kitty art show called Three Apples at the Royal/T Cafe in the Los Angeles area from Oct 23 to Nov [...]

If you have followed the blog for any length of time, you know that I have said time and again that the evil feline is trying to take over the world. One would assume that this statement would be sufficiently broad to cover all the havoc that Hello Kitty wants to create in her never [...]

The truth finally slips out in a 35th Anniversary Mad Scientist display in Macau. Called Hello Kitty Evolution, we see the way that the evil feline spreads her paws to Kittify one place after another (click on image to enlarge):

I guess the Hello Kitty tongue stud and the Hello Kitty lip tattoo weren’t the only oral fixations the evil feline has when branding herself on others. Apparently it’s also important for her to exist as a Hello Kitty tongue tattoo:

I would much prefer to not get anything Hello Kitty emailed to me, but if it is going to happen, artwork that shows the true side of the evil feline is much better than the sickly sweet stuff that makes up most of what crosses my path. I would have to say the Hello Kitty [...]

I received the following question in my email the other day:
What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?
“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, [...]

Hello Kitty, not satisfied to have Hello Kitty body shaped drinks, wants to have her face on all the popular soda drinks as well. While I’m sure that the people at Sanrio are looking into ways to actually create a Hello Kitty Coke and a Hello Kitty Pepsi, until that can be worked out they [...]

In her never ending quest to be a part of absolutely everything that exists, Hello Kitty has decided to morph into steampunk form:

I hate it when Hello Kitty photos ends up in my email box, but they always take on a bit more severity when that photo is of Hello Kitty food. Case in point, the Hello Kitty sandwich:

The full extent of the Hello Kitty Hellish nightmare that my wife is imagining for our next house is coming into full view. She already has her sights set on a Hello Kitty brick house, and thinks that landscaping the yard with Hello Kitty bushes would add the perfect touch:

I’ll admit it. There have been more than a few occasions where I have wished a horrific demise of the evil feline. It seems that I’m not the only one:

Anyone that lives in Hello Kitty Hell knows that Hello Kitty is more than happy to place her image on virtually anything. So it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that the evil feline would also like everyone to believe that she has been around forever (or at the very least, hundreds of years) because [...]

The deluge of Hello Kitty tattoos into my email box continues unabated(it makes one seriously pause to consider how bad things have become in the world when hundreds of people are not only going under the ink gun to have the evil feline become a part of them, but then think it’s a good idea [...]