Hello Kitty Hell

Have you ever wondered why Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? Let me tell you, it has nothing to do with her “only needing to speak from her heart.” It’s because when she has a mouth, you see her as the true mutant that she actually is. See for yourself:

Sent in by Essi who found [...]

I don’t think that guys understand the appeal of canopies over beds in the first place, but that lack of understanding compounds immeasurably when the canopy features the evil feline on it. Let’s hope that my wife fails to find one of these because I can think of nothing more disheartening than waking up in [...]

My wife absolutely loves this Hello Kitty shower and would like to have one just like it to go along with the Hello Kitty house made of Hello Kitty bricks with Hello Kitty plants in front surrounded by the Hello Kitty picket fence with Hello Kitty display cases and Hello Kitty stained glass windows inside. [...]

It’s bad enough waking up each morning and seeing Hello Kitty right in front of my face, but now my wife wants to multiply this pain by getting Hello Kitty bathroom mirrors. While she thinks that these are cute, they are simply another heart attack waiting to happen for me. On those nights that I [...]

We already have a Hello Kitty scale, but that doesn’t stop my wife from wanting other ones that she comes across. I find the whole idea rather ironic since the last thing that my wife wants to know from the evil feline is what she weighs. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Hello Kitty digital [...]

Let me make it perfectly clear that I have no desire to ever have any type of Hello Kitty plush in my life. If, however, I was forced to pick one that I had to have, the Hello Kitty head mount would definitely give the Hello Kitty tarred plush a run for her money.

Any normal person would figure that after my wife had decided on the Hello Kitty house made of Hello Kitty bricks with Hello Kitty plants in front surrounded by the Hello Kitty picket fence and Hello Kitty display cases to keep all her Hello Kitty junk that my wife’s dream house had pretty much reached [...]

One would assume that being able to buy virtually anything with the evil feline’s face on it would be enough for Hello Kitty fanatics, but that is never the case. You also need to build a custom Hello Kitty head display case into your wall in which to display all the junk that you have [...]

I received the following question in my email the other day:
What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?
“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, [...]

For most people that want a home, the dream is to have a little house with a white picket fence. The Hello Kitty fanatic, on the other hand, has a dream (and a nightmare to their partners) of a Hello Kitty house with pink Hello Kitty picket fence.

In her never ending quest to be a part of absolutely everything that exists, Hello Kitty has decided to morph into steampunk form:

The full extent of the Hello Kitty Hellish nightmare that my wife is imagining for our next house is coming into full view. She already has her sights set on a Hello Kitty brick house, and thinks that landscaping the yard with Hello Kitty bushes would add the perfect touch:

The problem with Hello Kitty Hell is that even something that is already far more horrendous than most people can imagine without wanting to physically hurt themselves can be made infinitely worse by additions that the Hello Kitty fanatic wants to make. Take, for example, the Hello Kitty house. Most people would take one look [...]

Anyone that lives in Hello Kitty Hell knows that Hello Kitty is more than happy to place her image on virtually anything. So it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that the evil feline would also like everyone to believe that she has been around forever (or at the very least, hundreds of years) because [...]

The never ending problem with Hello Kitty is that Sanrio and fanatics have learned that everyone has a price and therefore anything can be Hello Kittified. Want someone to make you a Hello Kitty beer stein for your Hello Kitty beer? Unfortunately, this is not a problem:

If you are ever involved with someone that insists that you paint your house Pepto Bismol pink, that is a sign that you should seriously consider getting out of the relationship. If they then take it a step further and put a Hello Kitty on the garage door with a sparkly heart underneath (and Mickey [...]

As with all things Hello Kitty, no matter how bad you think they have become, somewhere out there the evil feline is ready to show that things can always get worse. It was bad enough that they made a Hello Kitty cocktail, not to mention Hello Kitty wine, Hello Kitty sake and even Hello Kitty [...]

You really don’t know Hello Kitty Hell until a true Hello Kitty fanatic is in your presence on a daily basis. Imagine, for instance, that you had a co-worker that was a Hello Kitty fanatic. You might be saying to yourself, “oh, I know someone that likes the evil feline” but they really aren’t a [...]

If you ever see me with a smile like this on my face with that much Hello kitty crap around, you have my permission to take out any of the many Hello Kitty guns available and put me out of my misery. Seriously. (if I was ever caught in a Hello Kitty hood or Hello [...]

What would be worse than a house full of Hello Kitty crap? How about a Hello Kitty House full of Hello Kitty crap?