Hello Kitty Hell

As if there was really a need to have one more reason to want this season to end as quickly as possible (see Hello Kitty Christmas trees and Hello Kitty ornaments if you had any doubts), this should quickly put the question to rest: a Hello Kitty Christmas music video that is guaranteed to haunt [...]

What is worse than a Hello Kitty car? A Hello Kitty car where you are more horrifically distressed inside it than those are on the outside looking at the paint job (and believe me, the people on the outside are trembling with fear). This is why you never let a Hello Kitty fanatic decorate the [...]

I knew that once the Hello Kitty Christmas tree showed up in my email before December even began that things weren’t going to go well this holiday season. This feeling was confirmed when someone, for some unfathomable reason, thought it would be a good idea to send me a photo of Hello Kitty Christmas ornaments:

It is already well established that Hello Kitty wants us to all eventually live in a Hello Kitty house, and she is (unfortunately) making sure that the house has absolutely every accessory that one could imagine — a Hello Kitty home bar, Hello Kitty wall displays and far too many Hello Kitty appliances to mention. [...]

Apparently (who could have imagined?) there is someone with even more hostility toward the evil feline than I have: Sent in by Minnie V.

You either had to have done something amazingly horrible in a past life or pissed off your co-workers to no end to deserve to have something like this done to your office cubicle. Either way, it is a good sign that it’s time to find a new job. I think this might even qualify as [...]

There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers, Hello Kitty pasties, [...]

You know that Hello Kitty Hell has gone way beyond reasonable when I keep getting press releases from manufacturers about their new Hello Kitty products. I was never sure exactly what they wanted me to do with them since it was obvious that a site not fond of the evil feline really wouldn’t want to [...]

One would assume that after the Hello Kitty latex bed there would have been enough Hello Kitty kink for the week, but then that would be greatly underestimating how much Hello Kitty loves her sex. This was made readily apparent when I found out that the Hello Kitty S&M love hotel existing was not enough, [...]

Have you ever wondered why Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? Let me tell you, it has nothing to do with her “only needing to speak from her heart.” It’s because when she has a mouth, you see her as the true mutant that she actually is. See for yourself: Sent in by Essi who [...]

I don’t think that guys understand the appeal of canopies over beds in the first place, but that lack of understanding compounds immeasurably when the canopy features the evil feline on it. Let’s hope that my wife fails to find one of these because I can think of nothing more disheartening than waking up in [...]

My wife absolutely loves this Hello Kitty shower and would like to have one just like it to go along with the Hello Kitty house made of Hello Kitty bricks with Hello Kitty plants in front surrounded by the Hello Kitty picket fence with Hello Kitty display cases and Hello Kitty stained glass windows inside. [...]

It’s bad enough waking up each morning and seeing Hello Kitty right in front of my face, but now my wife wants to multiply this pain by getting Hello Kitty bathroom mirrors. While she thinks that these are cute, they are simply another heart attack waiting to happen for me. On those nights that I [...]

We already have a Hello Kitty scale, but that doesn’t stop my wife from wanting other ones that she comes across. I find the whole idea rather ironic since the last thing that my wife wants to know from the evil feline is what she weighs. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Hello Kitty digital [...]

Let me make it perfectly clear that I have no desire to ever have any type of Hello Kitty plush in my life. If, however, I was forced to pick one that I had to have, the Hello Kitty head mount would definitely give the Hello Kitty tarred plush a run for her money.

Any normal person would figure that after my wife had decided on the Hello Kitty house made of Hello Kitty bricks with Hello Kitty plants in front surrounded by the Hello Kitty picket fence and Hello Kitty display cases to keep all her Hello Kitty junk that my wife’s dream house had pretty much reached [...]

One would assume that being able to buy virtually anything with the evil feline’s face on it would be enough for Hello Kitty fanatics, but that is never the case. You also need to build a custom Hello Kitty head display case into your wall in which to display all the junk that you have [...]

I received the following question in my email the other day: What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there? “Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics [...]

For most people that want a home, the dream is to have a little house with a white picket fence. The Hello Kitty fanatic, on the other hand, has a dream (and a nightmare to their partners) of a Hello Kitty house with pink Hello Kitty picket fence.

In her never ending quest to be a part of absolutely everything that exists, Hello Kitty has decided to morph into steampunk form: