Hello Kitty Transformer

In her undying quest to be involved in anything pop culture, Hello Kitty has morphed into a Hello Kitty sewing machine transformer:

Hello Kitty transformer

My wife thinks this is “the greatest thing ever” (but then everything Hello Kitty is the greatest thing ever – no point trying to argue that it is impossible for everything to be “the greatest thing ever” at the same time, because while normal people know this makes absolutely no sense, we once again find that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t care) and wants one for herself.

wife: “I want one of those. It’s the greatest thing ever!”

me: “I don’t think it’s real…”

wife: “You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to get one. Just like the Hello Kitty car tail pipe.”

me: “no, that’s not true…” (thinking: “this is bad…I’m never going to be able to use that trick again…”)

wife: “It’s a toy you would like. I’ll let you play with it too.”

me: “That’s funny…” (accidentally laughing out loud thinking: “this is the person who sent me to the couch for a week because I used Hello Kitty toilet paper properly…”)

wife: “You don’t believe me!?” (with the Hello Kitty Hell look starting to sparkle in her eye – me thinking: “uh oh, this is not good…abandon ship…get out of this conversation as quickly as possible”)

me: (stammering trying to recover) “no…no, that’s not what I meant at all. What I meant was that I know how valuable everything Hello Kitty is to you and wouldn’t dream of disturbing your Hello Kitty items…” (thinking: “damn, you’re getting better at this. That was one hell of a comeback!”)

wife: “So what you’re saying is that I can get it and you won’t touch it.”

me: “Right” (thinking: whew, that was a close one and no Hello Kitty sleeping bag and couch tonight)

It took me a few minutes to realize the Hello Kitty conversation had ended much too amicably and going through the conversation again, I began to wonder if I had just told her it was OK to buy a Hello Kitty sewing machine? Now I sit here in a classic Hello Kitty Hell quandary – if I bring up the subject again, I’ll likely end up on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag, but if I don’t say anything, I’m bound to find a Hello Kitty sewing machine transformer at our door soon (yes, even if I know it doesn’t exist, believe me, she’ll figure out a way to find one…) Another typical no win situation day in Hello Kitty Hell.

Thanks to linda (via something awful) who should have to buy a Hello Kitty transformer sewing machine and use it daily for bringing this to my wife’s attention…

Hello Kitty Gold Figures & Pendants

Sanrio is the master of series which are made specifically to suck in the Hello Kitty fanatic. Our house would be a fraction of the Hello Kitty Hell it is if series didn’t exist. That’s because it is impossible for a Hello Kitty fanatic to get a single item from any series without getting the rest (or whining excessively about how they don’t have the rest). That can get expensive when my wife sees things like these Hello Kitty gold figures and pendants:

Hello Kitty gold figure

Hello Kitty gold pendant

So it should not come as a surprise that my wife won’t be satisfied with just one, but wants the entire collection. That means instead of just over $200 for one figure, it will end up being $2400 for the set plus another $1500 ($125 each) for the pendant set. Sanrio knows that fanatics want the entire set, so they release them over a period of time figuring that most would balk at paying nearly $4000 at one time, but would be more than willing to cumulatively purchase that same amount over an extended period.

Of course, when I explain how Sanrio is trying to manipulate my wife into buying more stuff, she’ll have none of it. “All they want to do is spread more love and cheer to the world.” While any normal person would gag when reading the around the world adventure story that accompanies these gold figures, the Hello Kitty fanatics eat it up:

Saying farewell to her friends and already missing her mother’s apple pie, Hello Kitty was ready to venture into new horizons, meeting new friends and spreading the message of love along the way. With her passport, T-shirts, and luggage ready, Hello Kitty began her fantastic adventure as an ambassador of love and friendship.

I think I’ll just empty the contents of my stomach now and get ready to endure another Hello Kitty Hell day…

Thanks to deede who should be forced to purchase these for every one of her children for having informed my wife of their existence.

Dog

It doesn’t take long for Hello Kitty fanatics to take a bad idea of the Hello Kitty cat and make it even worse. When it comes to Hello Kittifying, no pet is safe, even if you’re a dog:

Hello Kitty dog

Living in Hello Kitty Hell, I know the humiliation that this dog must feel. While it may be physically less painful than the Hello Kitty dog tattoo, mentally this dog is a goner (of course, my wife has a different take: “Awwww, that is so cute!! The owner must love that dog so much!). The real question is where will this Hello Kittification of pets end, and my guess is that if Sanrio – and Hello Kitty fanatics – have their way, it’s not going to be a pretty sight to any non Hello Kitty fanatic in the end…

Thanks to Kristin (via RavenNW) who should be forced to walk down the street wearing this Hello Kitty costume for even thinking of bringing this to my attention.

Update: More unfortunate creatures that must have done something unthinkably terrible in their previous life to end up being a pet of a Hello Kitty fanatic:

hello kitty dog hair clip fashion

Sent in by lauraschue via The Pink Paw

dog dressed in Hello Kitty clothes

Sent in by Gina

Kitty Cat (more)

We all hoped, prayed and basically got down on our knees and begged that the Hello Kitty cat was an aberration – a Hello Kitty marketing attempt that was woefully wrong that nobody would ever purchase. It wasn’t possible that there were actually Hello Kitty fanatics out there (beyond my wife) that would be willing to humiliate their cats, right? Oh, how wrong non Hello Kitty fanatics can be…

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Thanks to jean (via Gizmodo Japan) who should be forced to wear these outfits along with the cats for sending this to me…

Update: Apparently there are more cats planning their owner’s death out there:

Sent in by Fei

“Maneki Neko” Crystal Doll

While my wife wants this $66,000 (8 million yen) crystal glass doll, it’s a bit out of her price range which leads me to believe that we should take a vow of poverty (thus making all Hello Kitty goods too expensive for us to purchase)

Hello Kitty Crystal Doll

While making a $66,000 crystal glass doll out of 62,000 Swarovski crystal beads is insane in itself (it shouldn’t come as a surprise that this is currently on display with the Hello Kitty Doghouse at the Mitsukoshi department store in Tokyo), the truly pathetic part is that the reason they made it is because someone is going to buy it (which would be my wife if she could). Since Hello Kitty is posed as a manekineko (a good money fortune symbol in Japan), she believes that if she can get it, more riches will come her way (which is all the more reason I’m happy she can’t afford it).

While it has already been well established that Hello Kitty items are useless, what in Hello Kitty Hell are you going to do with a $66,000 crystal Hello Kitty? Place it in your home entrance and wait for some kid to come over and knock it to the ground and shatter it (hmmm, remind me to suggest to my wife to place it there if she ever decides she can afford one). I mean, at least with the Hello kitty Ferrari you have something to drive around (although admittedly, you can never show your face to any of your friends for the rest of your life…)

Even though my wife will not purchase it, that doesn’t mean that I get to escape from it in Hello Kitty Hell. All I’m going to do is hear about how “beautiful and cute” it is and “if we only had the money for it” for the next week or until some other Hello Kitty items diverts her attention – either way, it only means more Hello Kitty Hell in the future.

Thanks to Kelly who passed this along and should be forced to spend all her money on something like this for even considering sending to me…

Aly & AJ Tour

My ears are ringing with pain at just the thought of this – a tween pop duo with Hello Kitty electric guitars being sponsored by Hello Kitty to go on tour known as Aly & AJ. Never heard of them? Neither has my wife, but since they are touring around in a Hello Kitty themed bus and sponsored by Sanrio, my wife assumes (it is never good to go on the assumed advice of a Hello Kitty fanatic unless you are looking for a good reason to quickly end your life, which will be provided countless times and in ways far too cruel for you to ever imagine) that they must be good:

Hello Kitty Aly & AJ Tour

Hello Kitty Aly & AJ Tour Bus

When Hello Kitty decides to sponsor your tour and gives you all kinds of Hello Kitty crap to fill your bus, there is no doubt that there are going to be way too many Hello Kitty fanatics in attendance. I also imagine that their music sounds like the Hello Kitty theme song trying to be morphed into tween pop rock which pretty much means that, unless you are a Hello Kitty fanatic, you’d much rather be holding a plugged in toaster while taking a bath since this would likely be only a fraction as painful. Worse yet, my wife will likely start playing their music over and over again on her Hello Kitty speakers just to drive out the last bit of sanity that might have prevailed…

So the Hello Kitty Hell question of the month is, would attending one of their concerts be worse than attending the Hello Kitty musical? (this is the finest example of Hello Kitty Hell – trying to decide which of two events to attend knowing that both will likely force you to suicide in a manner of seconds after either of the shows start). I think I’ll go and get that toaster now and jump into the bath…

Thanks to Peter who should have to listen to every one of their Hello Kitty concerts for bringing this to the attention of my wife…

Bong

Hmmmm, this Hello Kitty mod is taking Hello Kitty’s main goal in life of alternating everyone’s state of mind to a whole new level – the Hello Kitty bong:

Hello Kitty bong

When I saw this, I mentioned to my wife that I would not be surprised if Sanrio is in the process of developing a Hello Kitty brand of pot that would help alter people’s perception to instantly fall in love with Hello Kitty.

To which my wife responded with a smile, “It’s not needed. We are all high on Hello Kitty just the way she is” — and that, my friends, typifies the Hello Kitty Hell I live in…

Thanks to way too many readers (via two twenty) who obviously must be smoking the stuff to spend so much time looking for Hello Kitty crap to email to me…

Update: another Hello Kitty bong photo left by jennell in the comments:

Hello Kitty bong

Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton bong

Left in the comments by Harlock

Hello Kitty bongs

Sent in by Jean [apparently there is now a retail line…]

hello kitty pink bongs

Close-ups left by filipetadamassa on twitter

Sent in by james (via friend without the r)

princess bong

Sent in by Lorie

pink bong

Sent in by Pearly

Hello Kitty Halo

More proof that Hello Kitty has to Hello Kittify everything she comes in contact with (and that no matter how wrong it is to modify something, Hello Kitty will still lay claim to it), including first person shooting computer games:

Hello Kitty Halo

Of course, my wife thinks that this is a positive thing (I know, I know — it is impossible to see how this could ever be a positive thing to any normal human being, but you have to remember that Hello Kitty fanatics have a warped sense of what Hello Kitty can do): “Doesn’t it look sooooo much better? By Hello Kitty giving Halo her heart, those who play the game will be given a kindness that only Hello Kitty can give.” (?!? ummmm, it’s a game with the goal of killing everything in site…)

The sad fact here is that upon seeing this latest Hello Kittification, I wasn’t even surprised in the least bit which goes to show that Hello Kitty Hell has begun to numb my senses…and that is exactly what scares me most about Hello Kitty Hell…

Thanks to Nic who should be forced to live with Hello Kitty Halo images every night in her dreams for sending this to me…

Hello Kitty Tar Art

It only happens once in a blue moon, but it does happen when I least expect it. Something Hello Kitty gets sent to me that makes me believe that there might be light at the end of the Hello Kitty Hell tunnel. Something that makes me think, well, maybe, just maybe, this Hello Kitty Hell day won’t be like all the rest. This happens when I get a photo like this:

Hello Kitty tar art

wife: “Who would have such a cruel heart to ever do such an evil thing like that to Hello Kitty? It makes me want to cry.”

me: “oh, yes, that is terrible.” (thinking: Hell Yeah, where are the feathers!!!)

Thanks to John (via Mattia Biagi) who deserves a beer for bringing a smile to my face in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Pullip

It really doesn’t matter if my wife has any idea what the thing is, if it has Hello kitty on it, then she has to have it. Thus when she saw the Hello Kitty Pullip figure, she wanted it right away:

Hello Kitty Pullip

I took one look at the style and it immediately reminded me of the Hello Kitty cat fashion which is always a bad sign. Knowing how Hello Kitty Hell works, it won’t be long before everything, including me, is fitted with a Hello Kitty head like this.

My wife thinks it’s the cutest thing ever and that it would make an excellent Halloween costume: “We can get one of Hello Kitty and one of Dear Daniel and go out as a pair. It will be so lovely.” Not exactly the words I would use to describe that image, but the scariest part (and the sure sign I am living in Hello Kitty Hell) was in that split second moment, when the words “Dear Daniel” left her lips, I was actually relieved. I know, I know, it’s the difference between being roasted alive over a open fire “slowly” and being roasted over a fire at a “snail-like” pace — both painful beyond belief with no noticeable different to the observer, but at that moment I actually thought she was going to say I had to be Hello Kitty, too. Now how utterly pathetic is that?

Thanks to kaoko for the image. She should have to wear one of these Hello kitty hoods around at all times…

Hello Kitty Armoured Personnel Carrier

It seems that Sanrio has teamed up with the military to bring the scariest military vehicle that anyone could imagine:

Hello Kitty armoured personnel carrier

Hello Kitty, in her quest at world domination, has moved up from the Hello Kitty Ferrari and other Hello Kitty cars and is now producing armoured personnel carriers for the Army (although this is a photoshopped model of what is to come). My wife loves the idea. “If everyone drove around in Hello Kitty vehicles like that, there would only be love and peace in the world.”

It’s hard to argue with logic like that except for the fact that the casualty rate would likely be much higher if the Army started exclusively using these. The Hello Kitty armoured personnel carrier would effectively nauseate the enemy into submission with many of them killing themselves to avoid the extreme pain. I know that’s exactly what I would end up doing…

Photo courtesy of SofaShark from his flickr photos

Hello Kitty Virtual World

Yikes! It seems that my wife doesn’t want me to only suffer in Hello Kitty Hell in this world, but also in a virtual Hello Kitty world (yes, you read that correctly…I’ll excuse you as you run to the bathroom and vomit). Somehow my wife thinks that because I spend most of my day on the computer that I would “love” to be part of a Hello Kitty online community game where “thousands of players that live and participate in Hello Kitty’s magical and cute online world.”

Hello Kitty virtual world online game

Send over the Hello Kitty table setting so I can stab Hello Kitty forks into my eyes and slash my wrists with Hello Kitty knives because that would be infinitely less painful that having to deal with thousands of Hello Kitty fanatics in a virtual world (although I think it would be a great place for the Hello Kitty whiners to gather instead of on this blog). Sit back and make sure any device that could be used to harm yourself is well out of reach before reading this game description:

Hello Kitty and friends welcome you to the exciting and fantastic Hello Kitty World! This is the first-ever online game platform featuring the all-time-favorite Hello Kitty characters from Sanrio!

Hello Kitty World will allow thousands of players to live and participate in Hello Kitty’s magical and cute online world. You will be able to roam the streets of Kitty Kingdom, XO Federation, and Melody-land. Enjoy the beautiful landscape and architecture of Puroland or Badtzcity and participate in numerous puzzles, story lines, or adventures lead by the worldwide community of Hello Kitty World subscribers. You can even have a successful career, open different shops, earn and spend Sanrio Dollars in your bank, buy a house, and trade with other players around the vast game world.

In the beginning of the game, there are three countries: Kitty Kingdom, XO Federation, and Melody-land. Each country has three cities, its own architecture style, and specialized products.

Kitty Kingdom is a humanity country with a wealth of beautiful arts and crafts.

XO Federation is a modern country with the updated and blatant entertainment facilities.

Melody-land is a country with beautiful landscape and rich natural resources.

Players may travel between countries and cities by plane, ship, car or train. Players can also adventure in the game world for many theme parks, hidden ancient relics, and other interesting findings. Since each country specializes in the production of only certain products, Players in each country will be encourage to trade and exchange products with other Players. The three countries will compete with each other in terms of trade, sports and academic. Starting the game at the same point, the fate and prosperity of each country lies in the hands of the Players living in the country.

I already know the fate of our world — if games like this are actually dreamed up as being a good way to spend time, we are all doomed to Hello Kitty Hell…

Thanks to fishy kitty for the link who should have to spend the rest of her life in the Hello Kitty virtual world as punishment…

Update: If there was any doubt about how Hello Kitty sees herself, this should dispell that — also from the game:

These Sanrio characters are the only ones not controlable by you. They are the main theme and “God” of one Nation. For example, in Hello Kitty World, Hello Kitty reigns supreme as the overseer of the land. With her guidance, love and happiness is abound and people are able to live in the cute land of Kitty Kingdom in Hello Kitty World. Hello Kitty will be there during your important occasions to bless and help you. Hello Kitty will also arrive to give guidance and new missions to residents of her world.

Emergency Gadget

With a number of natural disasters hitting Japan lately, my wife decided that we needed to do some better preparation in case something happened in our area. While I agreed that was an excellent idea, I also knew that it would likely become a Hello Kitty Hell nightmare. Since my wife has already bought us Hello Kitty fire extinguishers, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know what else she would find in her preparation of our safety. It didn’t take long before she decided we both needed one of these:

Hello Kitty emergency gadget

Hello Kitty has decided that the world needs a high tech version of the Swiss army knife for a generation that has more important things to do than open a can in an emergency. What is a person to do if their cell phone battery dies?

Sanrio’s solution is to create a 126 gram emergency gadget that does the following for the high tech world we live in:

1. USB cell phone recharger

Hello Kitty emergency gadget

2. LED Flashlight

Hello Kitty emergency gadget

3. AM/FM radio

Hello Kitty emergency gadget

4. hazard siren

Hello Kitty emergency gadget

5. compass

Hello Kitty emergency gadget

It can also be used with a 9v battery

Hello Kitty emergency gadget

Of course, my wife feels that it is not only necessary for her to carry one of these around, but I should also carry one in case of an emergency.

wife: “Hello Kitty will always be there to save you!”

me: … (thinking: this must be part of the Hello Kitty Hell conspiracy – instead of letting me just die and putting me out of my misery, Hello Kitty will come to my rescue so that I have to endure more Hello Kitty Hell to the point of trying to commit suicide, where once again Hello Kitty will come to the rescue and we’ll start all over again…)

I have to say that there really is nothing more unmanly than going into a store and taking the change out of your pocket to pay for something, and have a Hello Kitty gadget flop out on the counter. The store clerk looks at the gadget, then looks at you, then looks back at the gadget, then again at you with a look of “are you some kind of pervert?” It doesn’t matter how hard you try to explain the reason you have it, anything you say just makes you look more pathetic…

I think that I Hello Kitty Hell will be more bearable if I take my chances of an untimely death rather than continue to carry this around…

Hello Kitty Batman Tattoo

In keeping with the superhero theme, my wife had this tattoo emailed to her in her continued search for the perfect Hello Kitty tattoo for herself.

Hello Kitty batman tattoo

While I think Hello Kitty tattoos are wrong in general and anyone who ever considers getting one should have to do so with the Hello Kitty Vibrator Tattoo Gun Mod, having my wife consider one placed in that particular area of her body would be a Hello Kitty Hell disaster. It’s bad enough that I have to find Hello Kitty underneath the first layer of clothing, but to have her staring directly at me once all the layers are off would bring Hello Kitty Hell to an all new level.

While I could go into 1000 reasons why this particular Hello Kitty tattoo is also horrendous, the truth is that any Hello Kitty tattoo plastered across my wife’s chest is going to be a complete nightmare. The last thing that I want is to be in the mood and have to deal with Hello Kitty staring directly at me knowing that I must complement my wife on the Hello Kitty tattoo or face the repercussion that I will be to be sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag. I fear that this is the Hello Kitty Hell future that lies ahead…

Thanks to kittyfan3 who should be forced to get a similar tattoo and listen to that same music each day for the rest of her life…

Hello Kitty Superman

I’ve mentioned before that Hello Kitty doesn’t like to stay in her domain, but instead intrudes into other popular cultural areas and tries to Hello Kittify them. This usually doesn’t go over too well with the fans of that particular area, but Hello Kitty fanatics think that it’s the most wonderful thing in the world (and assume that everyone feels the same way). It is because of things like this that we get the Hello Kitty Darth Vader or the Hello Kitty Star Trek Klingon. So it should be no surprise that Hello Kitty fanatics also created a Hello Kitty Superman:

Hello Kitty Superman

While obviously a poorly done photoshop job, my wife still thinks it’s great. Her opinion is that “the goodness of Hello Kitty inside Superman would make the best superhero of all time!” (as if Superman weren’t already good) while the rest of us look at it shaking our heads in unbelieving disgust. My wife actually said she would buy a Hello Kitty superman doll if they made one which scares me because I’m sure that Sanrio is probably considering doing so…

You definitely know you’re in Hello Kitty Hell when superheros are supposedly better when they morph with Hello Kitty…

Sent in by way, way too many people — you all need to get more of a life and all your superheros should come Hello Kittified in the future as your punishment…

Hello Kitty Plush Dress (again)

There is a lot about Hello Kitty that scares me, and then there are Hello Kitty items that absolutely petrify me:

Hello Kitty plush dress

Apparently the Hello Kitty plush couture dress didn’t remain on the runway. It takes something pretty hideous that is able to both terrify and be just plain wrong at the same time. How anyone, including Hello Kitty fanatics, could still think this is a “cute idea” after seeing a photo like this is beyond me (but then again, so is all the Hello Kitty stuff). I’m going to be having Hello Kitty Hell nightmares tonight…

Thanks to darren who located this photo and should be forced to date someone that wears this dress weekly for terrifying me with it…

Hello Kitty Cat

I feel sorry for all cats that are owned by Hello Kitty fanatics because it’s things like this which they have to look forward to in their life:

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Yes, it’s a “turn your cat into Hello Kitty” kit and runs about $150. If cats have nightmares, this is exactly what they are made of. My wife was giggling like a little school girl when she found it and all I could do was look at our cats and think, “well, enjoy life now because you don’t know what’s coming to devestate it in a few days…”

It’s not often that I think that Hello Kitty Hell could be worse, but at least my wife is not dressing me up in outfits like that (yet…….)

Thanks to kaori who should have to wear an outfit like this for bringing it to the attention of my wife…

Hello Kitty Golf Putter

One of the worst aspects of living with a Hello Kitty fanatic is that you never know what Hello Kitty items are going to end up in your stuff. This is bad enough when you catch the fact before it has a chance to unexpectedly surprise you, but there are times when the addition goes undetected until the moment when it completely humiliates you. That is exactly what happened yesterday when I went golfing with a few friends.

It’s already bad enough that I have to play with Hello Kitty golf balls. The jokes are pretty much non stop every time I pull out a ball to tee off and no matter how tough you look, playing golf with Hello Kitty golf balls is going lower your manliness in the eyes of everyone that sees you by a few thousand percent.

So I made the Hello Kitty Hell mistake of believing it couldn’t get any worse. You know those dreams you have where you are in some crowded public place in your underwear or with no clothes on and you are completely mortified? That only begins to describe how I felt when we approached the green on the first hole and I went to pull out my putter to find it had been replaced with this:

Hello Kitty golf putter

Hello Kitty golf putter

Hello Kitty golf putter

Hello Kitty golf putter

Hello Kitty golf putter

Apparently my wife decided that she needed a Hello Kitty putter (no, of course she doesn’t play golf) for the one time every 5 years we play miniature golf and decided the best place to keep it would be in my golf bag (don’t ask, but it apparently makes perfect sense to a Hello Kitty fanatic). Since there was no reason to have two putters in a golf bag, she took out my putter and placed it with my older clubs in the garage (again, no normal person would ever think of doing this, but apparently this is the most logical course of action to take if you are a Hello Kitty fanatic). Thus the only thing I had to putt with was a Hello Kitty putter.

From the way my friends reacted, there doesn’t seem to be anything funnier than watching a grown man walk onto a green and put with a Hello Kitty putter, but they have informed me that I am the “cutest” male golfer they have ever seen. Great — exactly how I want to be perceived in life. The scariest thing? It was just another typical day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Vibrator Light Sabre

There are a lot of things that are wrong with Hello Kitty, but sometimes my wife shows me items that are just wrong on so many levels. The Hello Kitty Darth Vader is one of them which will have most Star Wars fans rolling in their graves long after they die. Then there is the Hello Kitty vibrator which, again, is just plain wrong on so many levels it’s difficult to even know where to begin list all the problems. So what would someone do to top either of these? Make a Hello Kitty vibrator light sabre of course:

Hello Kitty Star Wars Light Sabre

Now imagine the Hello Kitty Darth Vader holding a Hello Kitty vibrator light sabre getting ready to…well, what exactly would Darth Vader do with one of those?!? And if you begin to think about this, you pretty much get a clear idea of what’s so, so, so wrong with Hello Kitty (except if you’re a Hello Kitty fanatic like my wife to which you say, “That is soooo cute! Star Wars would have been an infinitely much better movie if all the characters had pink Hello Kitty light sabres.”)

The day has hardly begun and my head is already aching. It’s when I see photos like this that I know the day has all the makings of a truly Hello Kitty Hellish day…

Thanks to greg (via comicbookgirl.com) who should have to face the wrath of all Star Wars fans for pointing out the existence of this item.

Hello Kitty Open Letter To Children

I know that there are others out there living in Hello Kitty Hell. Most suffer in silence only to be found in statistics (I figure at least 95% of the suicides in the world can be directly attributed to Hello Kitty in one way or another). There are, however, rare occasions when others in Hello Kitty Hell break out of their chains and announce to the world what living with Hello Kitty is truly like.

It is with complete sympathy that I read Goodbye Kitty – an open letter to my darling daughter knowing that as bad as it sounds, it will only get worse (and what Hello Kitty Hell will be like for me when we have children) as she grows older and wants even more Hello Kitty goods. He’ll be in my thoughts tonight as I raise a beer to a suffering kindred spirit…

Thanks to Violet who emailed me the link and suggested that “you and this guy should get together for a beer. or twelve.” Why stop there? I’m thinking a keg still won’t be enough to drown out the pain…