Hello Kitty Candy

When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, you have to grab onto the smallest things to maintain your sanity…things like this Hello Kitty candy:

Hello Kitty candy

There is really nothing special about Hello Kitty candy and the evil feline has adopted making the sweet and sugary substance in her image in countless ways. That being said, I particularly like the placement of the candy stick on this one (since I have the urge to do this to Hello Kitty on a daily — if not hourly — basis) and think it would do wonders to the entire Hello Kitty image if all Hello Kitty items were to add this as part of a new design. Oh, one can dream — even when living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Marco who deserves applause for showing there is a way to improve Hello Kitty, but who also should be forced to eat this on a regular basis as punishment for reminding my wife that we haven’t had much Hello Kitty candy around the house which will undoubtedly mean I will be having a sugary diet next week…

Hello Kitty Sleeping Bag

Anyone who has read this blog for awhile knows about the Hello Kitty sleeping bag and how I spend far too much time in it on our couch. It simply goes to show how much I suffer in Hello Kitty Hell that this sleeping bag had been used so much that my wife decided that it needed to be replaced. Thus I was shown my new bedding for all those times I dare to cross the evil feline:

Hello Kitty sleeping bag

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Hello Kitty 18k Gold Phone Strap

It’s really not like my wife needs to pimp out her cell phone in Hello Kitty anymore than it already is, but then that simple piece of logic never makes any sense to a Hello Kitty fanatic. Thus she has her eyes on a $462 (50,000 yen) 18k gold (1.8 grams) Hello Kitty phone strap which she says will make the perfect accessory:

Hello Kitty 18k gold phone strap

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Hello Kitty Wedding Planner

Why, oh why, do people keep sending me emails like this?

dear sir, i need your help regarding information on a hello kitty wedding at first going to hello kitty world and getting married by hello kitty was kinda a joke between me and my finance, but as time has progressed we have decided that it would actually be something fun and special for both of us. I have been trying to find out how to get information from sanrio puroland about weddings but i haven’t found anything. Also, i was wondering how much just the wedding cost to have at the theme park (not including the reception, the wedding dress the tux, the rings ect), and if there are special scheduling that has to be done. can the wedding be in Japanese or is it in English? can you get married by a special character (like request it?, besides hello kitty…)we both love the monkey and the penguin ^^ and it would be awesome to get married by them. I’m sure there are so many questions that i haven’t thought to ask you so if you could just start with those, or give me advice about what i should do to find this information i would greatly appreciate it. thank you so much for your help and your time — ali e

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Hello Kitty Portable Body Fat Meter

When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, one of the worst sounds you can hear is the doorbell. That is because there is a 99% chance that whoever is ringing it is doing so with the intention of adding yet another piece to the ever growing mountain of Hello Kitty crap that has already found its way into your house. Today’s doorbell ring did not disappoint.

It’s already been well established that Hello Kitty has produced more than her fair share of completely useless gadgets, but it doesn’t appear that this will in any way stop her from producing more. That’s why it should come as no surprise that the Hello Kitty portable body fat meter exists:

Hello Kitty body fat meter

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Hello Kitty Doom Mod

If there is one thing you can say about Hello Kitty, it’s that the evil feline doesn’t see anything as off limits when it comes to putting her face on it. One would assume that there are some places that she just wouldn’t want to venture, but that is obviously not the case as the Hello Kitty Doom flashlight mod so graphically illustrates:

Hello Kitty Doom flashlight mod

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Hello Kitty Death Warning Update

It seems that the people at Sanrio actually do read this blog. I found the following email waiting for me this morning:

Hi Hello Kitty Hell,

I handle corporate communications for the Outblaze Group, which includes Sanrio Digital and Sanriotown. We were extremely disturbed to learn about the “when will you die” ad you reported at

http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/06/02/hello-kitty-death-warning/

We are grateful that we were able to learn about this problem from your blog, as we have never encountered this ad ourselves. The imagery and message are very disturbing and has absolutely no place on any Sanrio web site. We have attempted to track down the culprit, however our ad serving agency (Activ8) cannot find the appropriate record without some additional information. The matter is complicated by the fact that there is no identifiable brand or URL on the screenshot.

It would be most helpful if we could obtain some information from the person who sent you the ad (Amy). The clickthrough URL would help us a lot. Alternatively, if we can determine the date and time that the ad displayed, we can check our logs and try to find out who the advertiser is. If you could put me in touch with the person who submitted the screenshot to you, or if you could relay some questions to Amy for us, we can try get to the bottom of this.

Thanks very much for reporting this and for your assistance.

Best regards,

Ibrahim

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Hello Kitty Assault Rifle Tattoo

While it has long been established that all things Hello Kitty are bad, what sets the Hello Kitty fanatics apart is their desire to go beyond the typical and create Hello Kitty in ways that are just plain wrong: Hello Kitty tattoos and Hello Kitty guns being prime examples. One would think it would be safe to assume that things could not get any worse than these, but then they would not know the universal rule in Hello Kitty Hell — that things can always get worse. Thus the Hello Kitty fanatic thinks it’s a good idea to get a Hello Kitty assault rifle tattoo:

Hello Kitty assault rifle tattoo

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Hello Kitty Death Warning

Despite what Hello Kitty fanatics will tell you, there is something sinister and creepy about Hello Kitty. All that sweetness and cuteness is so overwhelming that you know deep down in your heart that there has to be something completely evil hiding inside. While Sanrio does its best to keep the evil part of Hello Kitty hidden away, sometime she pops up to show her true colors:

Hello Kitty die

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