Hello Kitty Hell

It has become abundantly apparent that the evil feline (ironically, with no mouth) has quite the oral fixation. With that fact being confirmed time and again, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise (but it doesn’t keep us from cringing all the same) that someone else would think it was a good idea to get [...]

Seriously, the people at Sanrio have gotten to the point that not only are they not even trying anymore, they are actively testing to see if there is anything that Hello Kitty fanatics won’t buy. Can you really come to any other conclusion when they are willing to release a product called “Who Pooped on [...]

The simple fact that anyone could even conceive of this club, let alone that it actually exists, scares the Hello Kitty Hell out of me. There really isn’t any more that needs to be said about the Hello Kitty Athletic Club:

There really was no doubt left that Hello Kitty would put her name and likeness on anything and everything after she decided that the Hello Kitty vibrator (oh, sorry, I meant “shoulder massager”) was actually an acceptable item for the evil feline to promote. Since Hello Kitty alcohol was also deemed age appropriate for all [...]

As if you really needed any additional proof that Hello Kitty fanatics have a warped sense of thinking, you simply have to ask yourself what would you do if you were going to the beach. Most of us would put on some suntan lotion to prevent a sunburn and have a good time, but the [...]

It’s more than a bit ironic that despite Hello Kitty having no mouth, she has quite an oral branding fixation. This irony is all the worse because the Hello Kitty oral branding tends to be some of the worst. It’s difficult to keep one’s sanity when you see things like the Hello Kitty tooth, the [...]

There is not much in life that I can be thankful to the evil feline for, but one thing is that I will never get sick again. I already made this decision when I ran into the Hello Kitty scrubs (or if I do, I will just let myself die instead of letting myself suffer [...]

I ended up in the hospital emergency room last week (luckily I didn’t end up in a Hello Kitty hospital or a Hello Kitty examination room). Now, most people would view a trip to the emergency room as a negative experience, but when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, things tend to get a bit [...]

I’m beginning to think that creative editing (much along the lines of Hello Kitty coloring pages) might be the way to help lessen the agony of living in Hello Kitty Hell. If a Hello Kitty fanatic decides to gift you a Hello Kitty growth chart, what is the best way to proceed after the stomach [...]

It is bad enough having to look at the outside of Hello Kitty, but there are more and more people that think it would be a good idea to look at her insides. Case in point, Hello Kitty anatomy:

I would put visiting the dentist pretty much up there with living in Hello Kitty Hell. When you put the two together, you basically have the makings for a complete horror show where stuff like the Hello Kitty tooth becomes a permanent fixture in your mouth after getting a Hello Kitty root canal. One would [...]

Apparently the evil feline wants us to believe that flu masks adorned with her image are more than just fashion statements and are actually something you would want to wear to help prevent swine flu. While Hello Kitty fanatics may be willing to place their health in the hands of Hello Kitty products, (as I [...]

There are a few things that always hold true when it comes to the evil feline. 1. If it’s something that I have no desire seeing, it’s going to end up at my house or in my email box. 2. Of those things that end up in my email box, quite a few of them [...]

You have to love (or more appropriately, cringe) at the way the evil feline sells stuff. Take for example Hello Kitty Intimate slim panty liners (not to be confused with other official and non official feminine protection products already being sold with the cat’s face on them) which somehow “truly understands” something or another (apparently [...]

I already have plenty of Hello Kitty nightmares to keep me occupied at night, so there is definitely no need for another one like the Hello Kitty doctor’s office:

It had to happen. If they make Hello Kitty coffee, it was only a matter of time before they started to make Hello Kitty green tea:

Now that My wife has her eyes firmly set on getting the Hello Kitty Wii dance pad, I know from Hello Kitty Hell experience that it isn’t going to stop there. That means in all likelihood, she will also be adding the Hello Kitty Wii balance board bag and yoga pad to her collection:

Once again showing that she can’t keep her claws off of anything that is remotely popular, Hello Kitty seems to have set her sights on the Nintendo Wii gaming system. The people at Sanrio know that there is absolutely no way that any Hello Kitty fanatic will be able to resist the Hello Kitty Wii [...]

It really shouldn’t come as a surprise considering that there are Hello Kitty condoms that there is a Hello Kitty place to keep those condoms safe: The Hello Kitty condom keeper:

You knew that it would eventually have to happen. Having already Hello Kittified virtually every real gadget out there, the evil feline has decided that it’s necessary to take the next logical step in her plot to take over the world — invent random gadgets that make no sense at all, but which she knows [...]