One mans hell with cute overload
When we know that Hello Kitty toilets, Hello Kitty toilet paper, Hello Kitty toilet paper storage cabinets, Hello Kitty toilet signs, Hello Kitty toilet seats and Hello Kitty toilet dispensers all exist (and how can anyone forget the Hello Kitty urinal target— are we seeing a pattern here yet?), it really isn’t much of a stretch to image that those who love the evil feline would want a Hello Kitty septic tank:
The problem with Hello Kitty is that no matter what your profession, the evil feline will eventually find a way to infiltrate the way you make your living and permanently scar your sanity in the process. I have no doubt that handymen thought they were safe from the terror of Hello Kitty — oh, how wrong they were. Handymen around the world have undoubtedly died a little inside (and likely have constant nightmares that this will show up in their work box) with the introduction of Hello Kitty duct tape:
While there are numerous things that one can say about Hello Kitty fanatics, I guess there is one thing that you can never say. That is that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t provide an ample amount of “wtf?” into the lives of all the sane people in the world. This is especially true when it comes to Hello Kitty tattoos as yet another one so perfectly illustrates:
As if you really needed any additional proof that Hello Kitty fanatics have a warped sense of thinking, you simply have to ask yourself what would you do if you were going to the beach. Most of us would put on some suntan lotion to prevent a sunburn and have a good time, but the Hello Kitty fanatic thinks a bit differently than you and me. She instead decides to put a Hello Kitty stencil on her body and then purposely get burned so that she can show off her lovely Hello Kitty sunburn to all her friends:
Seriously, the one thing that you quickly realize living in Hello Kitty Hell is that there is no possible way that you can make up the Hello Kitty crap that exists out there. While I am not usually a fan of Hello Kitty merchandise, there are still those rare instances when Hello Kitty goes to levels so absurd that I believe for a second that she might actually do herself in. Case in point, the new Hello Kitty deodorant which is aptly named Pussy Wind (I kid you not)
I would never encourage anyone to buy Hello Kitty crap, but I know that some of you reading this blog are planning to do so no matter how much a rant and rave. If you are planning to buy anything in the near future, then I would encourage you to do it on Thursday March 31 since 100% of profit will go to help the earthquake and tsunami victems in Japan (you don’t realise how painful if was for me to link to the official Sanrio site, but in times of disaster, even sworn enemies must sometimes unite)
If you are somewhat sane, then I would encourage you to donate directly to the Red Cross or by texting REDCROSS to 90999 on your cell phone.
Once again, it appears that Hello Kitty has decided to take combinations in an unfortunate direction. Hello Kitty tattoos and Hello Kitty piercings are frightening enough on their own, so who would ever doubt that a Hello Kitty fanatic would have the unfortunate thought that putting them together would be a good idea?
Yep, this comes way, way too close to home to make me feel comfortable…
Sent in by Queenie
It seems that the people at Sanrio have found that the reintroduction of the Hello Kitty vibrator shoulder massager has been so successful that they needed to add an attachment to their line of products and call it the Hello Kitty face massager:
The problem with living in Hello Kitty Hell is that there isn’t a season that is safe. The Hello Kitty bikini ensures that I have absolutely no desire for summer to arrive, but then things like Hello Kitty ear muffs (almost as bad as the Hello Kitty hat and mittens) get sent to me and it’s obvious that it’s high time for winter to be over:
