Hello Kitty Sweets Pastry Shop

When emails like this show up in my mailbox, I know it’s going to be a Hello Kitty Hellish day. Anything Hello Kitty is bad enough, but when you combine Hello Kitty with something else my wife likes (such as pastries or sweets), then things get a bit out of control. So it was no surprise that my wife is doubly determined to make it to Taiwan (via Hello Kitty airline and through Hello Kitty airport) to get dessert at a pastry shop dedicated to Hello Kitty:

Hello Kitty sweets

Hello Kitty Sweets sign

Hello Kitty Sweets store

Hello Kitty cake

There really should be a law dictating that Hello Kitty themed shops should not be allowed to exist. These are the worst for those who live with a Hello Kitty fanatic because it’s a “destination place” and there is never anything good that can come about when you are taking a trip with the sole purpose of going to a Hello Kitty themed shop.

Having been dragged to themed shops like this more than my fair share of times, you quickly learn the types of people that are there. Obviously, the place is overrun with Hello Kitty fanatics which can often be worse than the themed store itself. Then there are the partners of the fanatics that fall into one of two categories. Most are the young men that think that by taking the Hello Kitty fanatic to the Hello Kitty themed shop, they are going to get some that evening not knowing the hellish path they have chosen to take. The others are like me who fervently try to warn the younger men to bail out asap or get ready for a life of Hello Kitty Hell.

It is in places like this where lives of Hello Kitty Hell begin…

Sent in by ed (via daisy’s blog) who really should have to eat all his meals at Hello Kitty themed shops for even thinking for a second that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Humiliation – Photo of Horror 3

It’s my nightmare come true. No other words needed…

Hello Kitty humiliation

Hello Kitty humiliation

Left in the comments by Suzanne who says “My boyfriend dressed up in Hello Kitty stuff, but its only because the messageboard he visits had a thread called humiliating photos of yourself you wouldn’t want people to see so we took some photos” (it’s seems that he succeeded quite well and probably more than he ever anticipated since his girlfriend is leaving them on blogs like mine – someone is going to have a hard time leaving the house for awhile). Of course, this fails to address the reason why all the Hello Kitty crap was available in the first place…

Hello Kitty XM8 Rifle

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

Hello Kitty has obviously decided that there is money to be made as a military arms supplier with all the Hello Kitty firepower (Hello Kitty hand gunsHello Kitty AR 15Hello Kitty assault rifleHello Kitty AK-47) that she has been assembling lately. The latest edition to this firepower onslaught is the Hello Kitty XM8 Rifle:

Hello Kitty XM8 rifle

The evil feline not only wants to create everything in her image, she’s also intent on arming the entire world in her style (hey, where there is a buck to be made….) which pretty much where anyone living in Hello Kitty Hell thought she would be headed. It won’t be long before you see those “The Few, The Proud, The Marines” commercials with a “sponsored by Hello Kitty” in the corner.

With this latest entry, I even had to create a new category of Hello Kitty Guns – how damn scary is that? And just another indication of how Hello Kitty Hell continues to expand…

Sent in by Brittany who should suffer some intolerable torture for even considering for a split second that sending me this photo would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Hat – Photo of Horror 2

As if the Hello Kitty photo of horror wasn’t enough to show the pain that the significant other of Hello Kitty fanatics must endure (see, if you don’t have a Hello Kitty fanatic in your life, you may have made the terrible assumption that taking a photo like that was reserved for only special times such as a trip to Puroland), here are some more photos sent to me showing how Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to make their husbands wear Hello Kitty head gear just because they think it’s cute.

Hello Kitty hat

Hello Kitty hat

You know that terrified look that wild animals get when they are trapped and know that death is just around the corner? That is the look in this guy’s eyes. Shifting off to the side with a last second hope that there may be some type of escape only to realize that his life is trapped in Hello Kitty Hell and there is no escape. Unfortunately, I know the feeling and recognize the panicked look all too well.

It once again goes to show that Hello Kitty fanatics have no clue of the torture they administer to their significant others. This look of terror is “cute’ in The Hello Kitty fanatic’s eyes, and they somehow convince themselves that he is actually enjoying himself. Then they take it a step further and send the photos to a blog like mine where they get posted to humiliate the man even further.

Worse, my wife then wants to know why I am not willing to do such things when other husbands will. This ultimately leads my wife to attempt to get me to do so, and me eventually spending the night on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag.

Actually posting these photos was quite a dilemma. To do so is instant humiliation for the poor guy, and I know that he will not be able to leave his home for the next month due to embarrassment. At the same time, nobody would believe this actually takes place if I don’t (seriously, would anyone in their right mind think that dressing a man in a Hello Kitty hat would be a positive event in any way, shape or form and that people actually do it without photo proof?). I do need to send out a big “thank you” to him for taking another one for the Hello Kitty Hell team…

Sent in by Kelly, who deserves a special kind of Hell for 1) thinking it was a good idea to do this to her husband 2) thinking it was a good idea to take photos of the event 3) thinking it was a good idea to send the photos to me…

Hello Kitty Psycho Test 3

In the third installment of the appropriately named Hello Kitty Psycho Test (refer to psycho tests one and psycho test two), Hello Kitty once again delves into my mind to spew out my inner thoughts by asking me which magical mushroom I think is poisonous (which certainly would pin down my psychological standing) while flipping me off sucking her finger in contemplation of my psychological make up. See for yourself: Hello Kitty “Fill In The Blanks” Psychological Test

Hello Kitty Psycho test

Here are my results (grammar comes directly from Hello Kitty):

Basically You Could Be Stressful Easily

Luckily you are a straightforward person always voice your concerns. Some of the stress would then be released. Watch your mouth since you possibly over-expressed which would cause others unhappy.

Then stress comes back to you again. For this type try aromatherapy will calm you down.

It seems that aromatherapy is the answer to all my ills. Why do I have a feeling that there is a Hello Kitty aroma therapy kit that will be just perfect for this waiting at the local store? And now that my wife knows that Hello Kitty has recommended aromatherapy to calm me, it’s just a matter of time before it shows up here and I take another step deeper into Hello Kitty Hell…

Send in by mandy who should have to live her life in strict adherence to the advice of these psycho tests for even the thought that it would be a good idea to send this to me to see…

Hello Kitty Edible Fruit Bouquet

Just one more indication that Hello Kitty fans can’t leave even a bad idea alone. I was already cringing at the Hello Kitty flower bouquets, but there was no way that the evil feline would stop at that. Instead, she morphed the bouquet from flowers to fruit creating a Hello Kitty edible fruit bouquet:

Hello Kitty fruit bouquet

Yes, those are Hello Kitty pineapple shapes which again takes another bad idea (Hello Kitty Fruit) and takes it to another level by making it into the evil feline’s image. I’m sure if one of these ever arrives at our house, I will have to weigh whether it’s simply better to trash it immediately or first violently bite Hello Kitty’s head off, both of which would likely relegate me to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for a long period of time.

Even worse, it all comes in a keepsake tin so that you have to remember the horrifying experience every time I see it (there is something about these keepsakes that Hello Kitty fanatics absolutely love which of course only deepens the Hello Kitty Hell pit).

Of course, my wife loves it and thinks that it’s a brilliant idea. “Who wouldn’t want to receive a fruit basket filled with Hello Kitty?” which pretty much means I’m going to have to face this monstrosity at some point in the future. Just one more thing to look forward to in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Mike who should have to eat all his food in the shape of Hello Kitty for even having the notion that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Update: Worse than these actually existing is that some people think it’s a good idea to purchase them and give as a gift:

Hello Kitty fruit bouquet

Hello Kitty pineapple

Sent in by Caitlin

Hello Kitty Assault Rifle (update)

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

There are far too many readers of this blog that have way too much time on their hands if the amount of people who sent me photos of the Hello Kitty AR-15 assault rifle (which I mentioned previously) is any indication. Apparently a lot of people thought it was a photoshop job, so to prove it wasn’t he took photos of it with his wife using it at the firing range.

Hello Kitty assault rifle

No doubt that the military will be carrying these around soon. Seriously, I can’t think of anything more terrifying?

Sent in by 27 different readers (including the owner of riflegear), all of whom should have the wrath of Hello Kitty Hell fall down upon them for even thinking for a split second that it would be wise to send me this photo…

Update: A smiling Hello Kitty fanatic with an assault rifle really should be the definition of “scary” for the dictionary…

Hello Kitty assault rifle

Sent in by prlemph

Hello Kitty Hot and Sexy

I’ve grown used to getting email from Hello Kitty fans that take issue with my disgust of Hello Kitty to the point that they even wish death upon me, but this email was a change of pace. It is the first time I have received an email telling me that I don’t appreciate the “sexiness” and “hotness” of Hello Kitty:

in your hello kitty daze of hate, you fail to realize that hello kitty is the sexiest thing ever. there is nothing hotter than a girl dressed in only a hello kitty t-shirt and panties. Check these out!! hello kitty in all her sexiness. there is no way that you can say you hate hello kitty after seeing these!!

Here are the photos attached with the email:

Hello Kitty sexy

Hello Kitty sexy fashion

Hello Kitty sexy emo

Hello Kitty in bed

Hello Kitty necklace

Despite the urgings of the email, I still found myself in the bathroom relieving myself of caloric intake from the afternoon meal. There is something very wrong when Hello Kitty and sex appeal mix that should be obvious, but apparently some people don’t see. Furthermore, if it is Hello Kitty that is turning you on and not the woman herself, then you have created your own Hello Kitty Hell.

But in all fairness, I will let the readers judge since I do live in Hello Kitty Hell which does tend to warp perceptions when everything comes to you in shades of pink. Do these photos, because of the Hello Kitty theme, mean that Hello Kitty doesn’t have to be Hell or is this simply another attempt by the evil feline to brainwash every last soul into thinking that there can be times when Hello Kitty “isn’t all that bad?”

Sent in by greg who deserves to spend his life with a Hello Kitty fanatic for thinking that sending me these photos would be a good idea or that they would somehow relieve me from Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Darth Vader Tattoo

It was bound to happen because, as regular readers well know, this is Hello Kitty Hell and that means there is no limit when it comes to Hello Kittification. It also means that common decency is suspended and the sacrilege event of mixing Hello Kitty with other pop culture icons –which should not happen in the worst of nightmares — is common place. With a Hello Kitty Darth Vader and a Hello Kitty stormtrooper tattoo already in existence, it was only a matter of time before the Hello Kitty Darth Vader tattoo would appear:

Hello Kitty Darth Vader tattoo

There isn’t a lot more to say about this other than it’s wrong…just completely wrong…which, when you think about it, pretty much sums up Hello Kitty Hell in its entirety…

Sent in by tattoo artist Brian from Youngstown, Ohio (via a painting from Nick) who once again deserves the worst of the worst (and possibly a Hello Kitty tattoo of his own) for thinking in any way, shape, or form that sending this to me was a good idea…

Hello Kitty Counter-Strike

It seems that Hello Kitty is not satisfied with having her presence only in World of Warcraft. She also feels it’s necessary to be a part of other shooter games such as Counter-Strike:

Hello Kitty Counter Strike

Hello Kitty Counter-Strike

While my wife has no interest in computer games, she knows that I do so she makes the assumption that if Hello Kitty is somehow connected with computer games, it will help me enjoy Hello Kitty (fall under her evil spell). There is something just so wrong with going onto your computer to play a shooting game and finding a Pepto Bismol pink screen with Hello Kitty all over it. It’s seriously worse than all the blood and guts (at least a lot more nauseating…) and never a good omen In Hello Kitty Hell to find that there is one less place to escape the evil feline…

Sent in by PubliusCanis (via fps banana) who should have to play all his shooter games with Hello Kitty themes for even thinking for a split second that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Toilet Paper Storage Cabinet

One would assume that once you have Hello Kitty toilet paper, and a Hello Kitty electronic toilet paper dispenser, you have pretty much covered all the toilet paper Hello Kittification that you can, but remembering that this is Hello Kitty Hell, there is always something else to place the evil feline on. Thus the bright minds at Sanrio decided that there should be a Hello Kitty toilet paper storage cabinet:

Hello Kitty toilet paper cabinet

Hello Kitty toilet paper holder

Hello Kitty toilet container

That’s right. Hello Kitty demands that toilet paper be stored in it’s own, specially designed Hello Kitty themed toilet paper cabinet. It really doesn’t matter that toilet paper cabinets don’t exist or that there really isn’t a reason anyone would need one, but inventing useless items with Hello Kitty on them has never been an issue in the past, so I suppose it makes no sense that they would stop doing so now.

What I do find amusing is that Hello Kitty toilet paper wasn’t used in the photo. Knowing my wife, I imagine that Sanrio wanted to use it, but when they went to try, none of the fanatics that had purchased it were willing to actually unwrap the rolls and ruin their collection (refer to my own experience on this). There must have been a lot of screaming and yelling as to why each person’s precious toilet paper collection couldn’t be sacrificed for the photo. It probably made a hockey fight look like two lovers holding hands strolling down a flower lined lane in comparison, After a lot of blood and guts, they simply decided that plain white toilet paper had to do.

Of course, my wife thinks it would be a great addition to our interior (despite the fact that there is absolutely no place in our bathroom where something like this would fit, but again, small facts like that have never stopped purchases in the past). I know that Hello Kitty Hell is getting bad when I look at this and say to myself that on the scale of things, a completely useless object that will only get in the way and cost far too much isn’t nearly as bad as it could be…

Hello Kitty Wedding Cake

What is it about Hello Kitty fanatics and weddings? There is something about the two together that bring out the worst in a Hello Kitty fanatic as can be plainly seen in any type of Hello Kitty wedding. This is one area that still brings fear to the forefront since we didn’t have a Hello Kitty wedding and my wife feels that she somehow missed something by not (thankfully, we got married long before the Hello Kitty fanaticism began) having one. But that yearning on my wife’s side to have a Hello Kitty anniversary wedding keeps popping up every time something like a Hello Kitty wedding cake ends up in my email box:

Hello Kitty wedding cake

There is nothing that says doom and terror more for a groom than having to cut and serve your guests something like that on your wedding day. I have no doubt upon seeing that cake that there is another man that has every right to be a guest writer on this blog and he deserves to have the pity of men worldwide for the torture he is suffering.

Of course, my wife thinks it’s “absolutely adorable” and I distinctly heard the words “we should get one like that when we have our anniversary we…” at which point I slammed the door on my hand and screamed in pain because I calculated it would be infinitely less painful to do that than hearing the rest of the sentence. Unfortunately, it was probably only a temporary solution to the problem so I have a feeling that my extremities are going to be quite black and blue this coming week which seems to be a minor price to pay considering the alternative when living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Mitzi who should only be able to eat that for the rest of her life for contemplating even for a second that it was a good idea to send me this photo…

Hello Kitty Toilet Sign

What is it about Hello Kitty and toilets? She has a whole line of Hello Kitty toilet paper and while it really didn’t surprise me that there was a Hello Kitty toilet, the Hello Kitty urinal target and Hello Kitty electronic toilet paper dispenser simply confirmed that the evil feline likes her face everywhere. Then, of course, there is our disaster of a bathroom. So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that there are also Hello Kitty (and Dear Daniel) toilet signs:

Hello Kitty toilet sign

Dear Daniel toilet sign Japanese

Dear Daniel toilet sign western

As a man, the Hello Kittification of my bodily functions is extremely disturbing. No matter what remedies Hello Kitty tries, it’s never going to be “cute” and there’s really no reason to pretend it ever could be. Of course, my wife doesn’t believe that for a second (but then the Japanese have buttons on their toilets that make a flushing noise so that you can’t hear bodily functions as well – it won’t surprise me if the Hello Kitty theme song replaces these flushing noises someday).

It’s bad enough (and obviously a sign that there’s something terribly wrong in the world) when a man can’t sit down to take a dump without Hello Kitty all around, but now we actually have Hello Kitty telling us where to do so…which pretty much sums up Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by deniz and brightspring, both of who should have to live with Hello Kitty bathrooms as bad as mine for the rest of their lives for even considering it would be a good idea to send me these photos…

Hello Kitty Motorcycle Honda NSR

It’s when I receive emails like this, it’s going to be a bad day in Hello Kitty Hell (then again, can there ever really be a “good” day when your life is surrounded by the evil feline?) because I know the reaction of my wife will be the complete opposite of mine. Unwritten rules in Hello Kitty Hell state that the Hello Kitty fanatic will love a Hello Kitty item in direct inverse of how much the husband despises it. So I already knew what her reaction was going to be the second I saw this Hello Kitty Honda NSR motorcycle:

Hello Kitty motorcycle

Hello Kitty Honda motorcycle

Hello Kitty Honda NSR motorcycle

First, why would someone ever do that to a nice piece of machinery? I guess that’s a question that you can really ask about anything that has been Hello Kittified, but a motorcycle? The main problem with this is that I’ve been thinking about getting a motorcycle, with the number one attribute being that there aren’t Hello Kitty motorcycles, so the last thing I needed to show up in my email box was a Pepto-Bismol tinted, blinged out Hello Kitty motorcycle model to give my wife the idea that this would be a good thing to get.

Of course, my wife adores it. She’s been full out against the motorcycle idea as she stumped for the Hello Kitty scooter as being a better choice, but did a 100% about face upon seeing this. “Oh, if you get that motorcycle, I don’t have a problem…”

Somehow, a 6 foot 3 inch foreigner riding around in Japan on this with a Hello Kitty helmet seems like a good excuse for the police to shoot me as a suspected terrorist (I mean, seriously, wouldn’t you expect a terrorist to be using things like this on his final mission to really bring fear into the Japanese people?). All I know is my dream of having transportation free of Hello Kitty is quickly fading away and another reminder that Hello Kitty Hell can always get worse…

Sent in by Lexmj who noted, “I saw this horrendous motorcycle while visiting this particular motorshop for repairs…I really felt that it scares the spirit of riding outta this bike. I hope it won’t cause nightmares to you as it did to me, really dampens my passion for riding whenever I thought of it” which, of course, is exactly what he accomplished by sending this too me and therefore should have to ride that thing everyday for the rest of his life as punishment…

Jesus Tattoo

It just never stops. When I listed the first set of Hello Kitty Tattoos, I naively thought that the topic wouldn’t come up again. It didn’t take long for the Hello Kitty Star Wars Storm Trooper tattoo to appear, then the Hello Kitty Batman tattoo which I, again, thought would put things to an end. But then there was the Hello Kitty zombie tattoo and then Hello Kitty zombie II tattoo. I felt those were never gong to be able to be topped until I saw the Hello Kitty scarification which pretty much clinched the title in my opinion, but alas, things always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

I know you read the title of this post and were shaking your head in disbelief even before you looked at what I have written. You thought that I was exaggerating to draw you into the blog because there is no way in Hell (Hello Kitty or otherwise) that anyone would ever get a Hello Kitty Jesus tattoo. Hello Kitty fanatics are wacko, but there is a line even they will not cross, right? See, I have had that delusion too, but it always proves to be wrong because fanatics of the evil feline don’t know what a line looks like that shouldn’t be crossed. Thus, the Hello Kitty Jesus tattoo:

Hello Kitty Jesus tattoo

No problem, I’m more than happy to wait a few minutes while you clean up the mess on your computer screen and keyboard before writing more. Take your time and make sure that all food and drink have been expelled from your stomach before attempting to look again. No, it’s not a problem that you need to run to the bathroom again because while cleaning up you noticed that it really does say “Hello Kitty is my Jesus” – I’ve already been there and understand that the food just won’t stay down…

Each year I look at what Hello Kitty Hell the previous year provided and have a small glimmer of hope that things can’t get any worse. I pat myself on the back for surviving another year without gouging my eyes out with Hello Kitty forks (or spoons or chopsticks or basically any utensil since they have all been Hello Kittified) due to all the Hello Kitty that surrounds me and imagine that the worst is surely over. Then within the first two weeks of the New Year, something like this ends up in my mailbox to remind me that Hello Kitty Hell can always get worse and 2008 is going to bring unbearable amounts of Hello Kitty pain…

Sent in by tattoo artist Brian from Youngstown, Ohio who deserves the worst of the worst that Hello Kitty can offer for not only thinking for a second that it was a good idea to send this photo to me, but for also giving notice of what 2008 is going to be like in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Head For People

You knew that Sanrio and the evil feline wouldn’t be able to leave it alone with cats and more cats and dogs. They simply figured that if Hello Kitty fanatics were willing to torture their pets with these Hello Kitty heads, they would be more than willing to do it to themselves (even if it isn’t Halloween). Now the average person would say, “Wait a minute here. Hello Kitty fanatics are fanatical, but even they wouldn’t be so fanatical as to want a Hello Kitty head to wear on there head.” This, of course, is why Sanrio is a multi-billion dollar company and non fanatics are shaking their heads in amazement with only a few dollars in their pockets wondering if there could ever be an end to this:

Hello Kitty head

Sometimes a picture says it all and there is nothing left to do in Hello Kitty Hell than to weep and hope the nightmare ends…

Left by emma-chan in the comments who I should wish unthinkable torture upon for even thinking it was a good idea to leave this photo for me to see, but who is obviously torturing herself far more than I could ever even imagine…

Hello Kitty Photo of Horror

This is what happens when you marry a Hello Kitty fanatic. I feel his pain and commend him for being able to squeeze out a smile through those clinched teeth of shame. All the photos in the world do not do justice to what it’s like to live with a Hello Kitty fanatic, but this one does give a glimpse into the horrendous torture that comes with it:

Hello Kitty fanatic

Not only does a Hello Kitty fanatic make their significant other dress up for a photo like this (and think it’s enjoyable), but once the photo is taken, they show all their friends and even send it to blogs like mine so that they are able to humiliate the significant other even more while being completely oblivious of what they are doing. That, my friends, pretty much sums up the everyday events of Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Kelly, who I should recommend some hideous Hello Kitty torture to undergo for even thinking it was a good idea to send this to me, but judging from this photo, she would simply enjoy it far too much. Her husband is free to do a guest column here at any time…

Hello Kitty Seed Art

It’s not often that I see something Hello Kitty that first appears so horrible that I’m actually relieved when I find out what it truly is. It does happen on occasion such as with the Hello Kitty cheese, but it’s a rarity. That rarity happened again when I received an email and thought I was initially looking at a Hello Kitty Zen rock garden:

Hello Kitty seed art

In fact, it’s something called crop art and is made with seeds and beans (which in itself brings about 2 very disturbing points: 1. There is now a Hello Kitty fanatic out there somewhere making plans to create a Hello Kitty Zen rock garden since I mentioned it and 2. Hello Kitty has found her way into something as obscure as the crop art world). Thus, even in relief of finding out it wasn’t something worse, the potential of the initial assumption is bound to become reality in the near future (remember that Hello Kitty cheese – the awful truth was fulfilled there too) which pretty much sums up another day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Nina (via Suzanne Mears Crop Art Gallery) who really should have to eat only seeds and beans for the rest of her life for even considering it was a good idea to send this to me…

Hello Kitty Car License Plate Thingy

I’ve been avoiding writing about our car lately because, basically, it’s slowly becoming a Hello Kitty pimped out nightmare. It has gotten to the point where I don’t even bother locking it anymore because there is absolutely no way anyone in their right mind would ever consider stealing it. Now my wife is adding Hello Kitty themed things that must have been invented for the specific purpose of placing Hello Kitty on them because they don’t even have a name like these Hello Kitty car license plate thingies:

Hello Kitty license plate thingy

Your eyes don’t deceive you. These are Hello Kittified covers for the screws that hold on your license plate. You know that the evil feline has pretty much put her face on everything when Sanrio has to begin making up products just so they have more things to sell. It’s even worse when my wife starts to buy these things because the car has been so Hello Kittified that there is nothing else — another typical day living in Hello Kitty Hell…

The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head

As has been well established, Hello Kitty by herself is frightening, but Hello Kitty fanatics rarely are able to leave this frightfulness alone. They have to test the limits. They do this by projecting that their love of Hello Kitty must also be shared by their pets. So they decide that placing a Hello Kitty face on their cats and dogs would be a good idea.

Now, one would assume that it could never get worse than this (mainly because it’s so nightmarishly frightening that nobody in their right mind would want to even try to take it further), but of course, it can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell. That is because once Hello Kitty fanatics have their cat and the Hello Kitty hood, they then think “Wow, wouldn’t it be great to create something with Hello Kitty like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?” The result? They make a group called “The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head” (although I wish I was, I kid you not…)

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Hello Kitty cat head

Of course, my wife thinks this is the greatest idea since Hello Kitty toast and wants to join. “Wouldn’t our cats just look adorable in that and then we could share their photos with everyone all over the world” (an informal poll of our cats say that they are siding with me that it would definitely not be “adorable” and have even indicated they will be willing to sleep with me on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag if worst comes to worst).

According to the group leader of “The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head” is off to England and Australia — which begs the question – is there any doubt that it will one day make its way to Japan? And while this entire concept is nightmarishly frightening (the cats and I are still arguing whether it it more nightmarish for me or them), we all know that in Hello Kitty Hell this will somehow find a way to get worse…

Sent in by Valerie (via Hello Kitty Fan Club Catster Group – where there are many more photos for those who have the stomach — scroll to bottom) who should have to wear these Hello Kitty heads herself for the rest of her life to get a feeling of how these cats must feel for even considering that sending me the link was a good idea…