Hello Kitty Hell

It’s when I receive things like this in my email box that I know it’s going to be a horrendous Hello Kitty Hell day: If we ever have a girl, that is exactly how my wife hopes our daughter turns out. I think I’ll go and cry in a corner and pray for a boy [...]

We already know that Hello Kitty makes a wide variety of underwear including bras, boxers and even some scary boy’s briefs, but of course that is not enough — Hello Kitty has not mastered full domination until she also has a Hello Kitty corset: My wife loves it. “Isn’t it wonderful how Hello Kitty is [...]

It’s bad enough that Hello Kitty fanatics feel it is okay to dress up cats and dogs as Hello Kitty, but you know you’re in real trouble when they feel it is appropriate to dress you up as Hello Kitty as this poor soul found out: I want to scream and shout at him to [...]

I know it’s going to be another Hellish day in Hello Kitty Hell when my wife decides I need a Hello Kitty leather jacket like this guy: legacy of cuteality Of course, she also wants to know why I’m not as enthusiastic about Hello Kitty as he is to which I simply have to say, [...]

Well, that certainly didn’t take long. Now that my wife has her blinged out Hello Kitty cell phone, she has decided that she needs to increase the number of Hello Kitty cell phone accessories she has (like that is a big surprise). Here latest purchase is this Hello Kitty portable cell phone recharger: Basically it [...]

Let me say this once (I really don’t believe that I need to say this even one time) — I seriously have no (I’m talking 100%) interest in hearing about your Hello Kitty fetishes. While I view myself as being quite liberal and believe that what consenting adults decide to do in their own home [...]

My wife finally got herself a Hello Kitty cell phone, but since the official Hello Kitty cell phones weren’t Hello Kittified enough for her taste, she instead had this monstrosity custom made: Since I don’t have a cell phone, my wife insisted that I take hers when I went out shopping yesterday in case she [...]

“Hello Kitty is like crack for young Asian girls” (and Hello Kitty fanatics) – I couldn’t agree more…

If you ever had any doubt that Hello Kitty wants it all, this should help put it to rest. Not satisfied to been the queen of cuteness, Hello Kitty also wants to be sexy. What other explanation can be found for this Hello Kitty Zent race queen plush: What exactly is Zent you ask? It’s [...]

While I have no doubt that Hello Kitty will eventually come out with a limited edition Apple iBook (much like the Hello Kitty iPod mini) to compete against the Hello Kitty NEC Lavie G laptop computer, Hello Kitty fanatics aren’t that patient. They need to get their Hello Kitty fix this very second and if [...]

What is the deal with Hello Kitty and masturbation? Apparently the same Hello Kitty that makes me want to continuously vomit brings sexual excitement to far too many people – that is the only explanation to the popularity of the Hello Kitty vibrator and the Hello Kitty S&M Love Hotel Room. This goes to a [...]

This is wrong in so many different ways I don’t even know how to begin and it’s definitely the type of thing that Hello Kitty Hell nightmares are made of… Courtesy of artist Joseph Senior

As mentioned previously, Hello Kitty has a problem with other pop culture and invariably tries to make it her own. She has obviously reached the point where all the superheroes have taken too much of the limelight away from her and instead of morphing the superheros into Hello Kitty, she has gone out and created [...]

Some images of Hello Kitty Hell because it’s been that kind of weekend… Photos courtesy of SofaShark

I should have learned by now to keep my mouth shut about what I’m thinking about getting something, because no matter how unlikely it would seem that they would make it in Hello Kitty style, they undoubtedly will and my wife will get it for me. Like Hello Kitty darts: Every once in awhile, as [...]

The Hello Kitty armband of shame made it onto the Japanese news. Apparently they used the red and white checkered armband shown in previous months, but that armband proved to have the opposite effect and was popular among the police, thus they decided to switch to Hello Kitty to try and shame them… As would [...]

This is why Hello Kitty brings hell to the spouses of Hello Kitty fanatics. It’s bad enough that my wife “had to have” the Hello Kitty Gold business card. The problem is once you have the outrageously expensive business card, where do you keep it? In an outrageously expensive Hello Kitty business card holder, of [...]

Not satisfied to simply take over mainstream religion, Hello Kitty also has delved into the alternatives such as these tarot cards: It doesn’t surprise me in the least bit that Hello Kitty believes that she can predict your future (and I’m sure she knows the Hellish future that she has in store for me…and I [...]

Apparently the police in Thailand have come up with the perfect way to keep their police officers in line – threaten to make them wear a pink Hello Kitty armbands to discipline them for such things as being late for work, parking in prohibited areas, fighting, failing to report for duty and giving poor service: [...]

Only Hello Kitty can do something like this and actually convince Hello Kitty fanatics (like my wife) that they are spending their money wisely while helping the environment. My wife, knowing that I prefer to be eco friendly when possible, decided that I could not object to the Hello Kitty Eco Bag: Now my impression [...]