Hello Kitty Hell is, as would be expected, hellish, but it takes on new dimensions when a Hello Kitty product is combined with something else that my wife is obsessed with. In this case, mahjong.
My wife loves mahjong and we play it on a weekly basis. It is actually one of the few times where I am able to escape Hello Kitty Hell (well, except for the Hello Kitty snacks that get served…) to a large degree. That little oasis is soon to be gone forever now that my wife has found the Hello Kitty mahjong set:
There is something plain wrong about playing mahjong with Hello Kitty tiles. It would be like playing poker with Hello Kitty cards (something that my wife thinks that should be done too) or drinking beer out of Hello Kitty mugs (there aren’t many things that can ruin a beer, but that is one of them). Another typical day of finding out that one of the few places that has resisted the evil feline and her Hello Kittification has fallen under her world domination…
Sent in by hh who should be forced to play mahjong with Hello Kitty tile pieces forever for thinking it was a good idea to let me wife know about this…
Update: Apparently I will be receiving 28 boxes of Hello Kitty crap according to the latest threat from a Hello Kitty fanatic for refusing to tell where people can buy this stuff:
Please, tell me where to find the mah jong set. In return, I promise to throw all non- electric HK products away. If you don’t tell me, I will mail them- ALL 28 BOXES- to you and your wife!!! — Jodi
As far as empty threats goes (have you ever known a Hello Kitty fanatic that would willingly give up their Hello Kitty crap?), this one was both pretty feeble and typical. What Hello Kitty fanatics fail to realize is that with the amount of Hello Kitty crap that my wife already has, 28 boxes wouldn’t even be noticed…
Update 2: It only gets better when it comes to dealing with Hello Kitty fanatics and their supposed threats. This is what I found in my email box today:
Empty!??? Ok, what’s yer address?? U now have 28 boxes of HK crapola on the way….seriously, that maj set is on 10 or so sites and no one knows the name of it or where to buy it. I come from one of those Jewish, mah jong playing families and i’ve been dying to learn to play….
This actually brought a smile to my face. The outrage that required an exclamation point and three question marks punctuated by having to ask where to send the crap. Obviously, it makes it a lot harder to send 28 boxes of Hello Kitty crap and take the threat seriously when you have to ask for the address of where to send it. Just saying…
Then there is the whole insinuation that she can’t learn how to play mahjong without a Hello Kitty mahjong set, and this should somehow make me feel sorry for her in some way. Believe me, I would feel much more sympathy toward your mahjong playing relatives if you were able to ever get your hands on the Hello Kitty mahjong set.
Seriously, why would anyone think that I would ever willingly give out my address to someone saying they are going to send me and my wife 28 boxes of Hello Kitty crap? I’m sure that somehow makes sense in the mind of a Hello Kitty fanatic — which I guess pretty much explains why they are Hello Kitty fanatics in the first place.
Update 3: The fun never ends. The latest email:
Ok, So now because of YOU – I had to contact other web sites about this stupid mah jong set….. I have people named “Maria Kitty” and “Bitty Kitty” writing me to say hello – they haven’t even responded about the set!!! How did I get myself into this??
So in response to your rather smarmy response…. I am not a HK fanatic – kind of used to be until it became trendy! I just haven’t tossed it out yet because .. well, I’d hate to see it NOT go to someone who wants it like you guys!! I haven’t bought any HK stuff in… uh, years!! Oh, except for electric stuff. And hopefully, a maj set soon. But after that, I will never buy any more, I promise. Also, my pals mom has a really old set but it’s made of ivory and I would feel just terrible knowing an elephant sacrificed his life, only to have me shooting what used to be his tusks across a table…. So, that’s why I need to know where to get the HK one – I doubt they are real ivory tiles. I promise not to tell a soul that you told me where to get it. — J
Right, somehow this is all my fault. And I’m the bad guy because I actually responded, although not in the way she wanted me too (note to self: remember never to respond anymore to Hello Kitty fanatics). The logic of Hello Kitty fanatics never ceases to amaze me.
It is classic Hello Kitty fanatic whining. The denial — they swear they aren’t Hello Kitty fanatics (isn’t denial the first sign that you really are an addict?), but they will still somehow not be able to live without some small piece of Hello Kitty crap.
I won’t even go into why not wanting to play with ivory mahjong tiles does not equate having to have a Hello Kitty mahjong set (if you can’t figure that out yourself, there really isn’t much hope in trying to explain it to you) and then she falls back onto the desperate plea that I eventually hear from all fanatics — the promise that they won’t tell anyone that I told them if I tell them. I’m not really sure why they believe this promise is supposed to convince me to tell them, but apparently it is a common assumption among Hello Kitty fanatics.
I’m almost tempted to tell her my address just so the hilarity can continue…