Hello Kitty Safari

Well, I guess I can always dream:

Hello Kitty safari postcard

Hello Kitty safari postcard

I think it would have been more appropriate if she had been hunted down with a Hello Kitty shotgun, but then again, who am I to nitpick…

Sent in by Aein (via commercial archive) who deserves a beer on me if we should ever meet for bringing a smile to my face, but next time needs to invite me along for the hunt…

Hello Kitty Fanatic Song

I found this in my email box today – an original Hello Kitty fanatic song by Anna Joy. The song pretty much sums up what it’s like living with a Hello Kitty fanatic…

You can listen to the song at The Ugly Trannies Myspace Page (click the “Hello Kitty” on the player – warning: words NSFW)

You will probably have to read the lyrics to be able to understand it all, so here they are:

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty s***
I cannot close my closet door, my drawers just overflow with it
And I will not take it back
I need it more than crack
If I can’t have that pillowcase then I will have a heart attack

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty crap
I go to the Sanrio store and I know full well it’s a trap
‘Cuz it’s just so f****** cute
It’s just so f****** cute
I think that I have pooped my pants
I thought that it was just a toot

Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)
Panties bras and guitars, socks and shoes and t-shirts
(I want it all!)
Sanrio will make sure every last dollar hurts
(I want it all!)

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty junk
It put it all in my backseat because I cannot close my trunk
‘Cuz it’s never enough
No it’s never enough
I’ll tattoo it on my labia
I have to have all of this stuff

Razors tazers lasers lite-brites dildos statues
(I want it all!)
Guns and ammo, crack and smokes and s***** tattoos
(I want it all!)
Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)

I couldn’t quit me all that Hello Kitty crap
So when I sleep outside the kitty store, I sleep in Hello Kitty wrap
‘Cuz I blew all my loot
My landlord gave me the boot
…but don’t you think this garbage can is hella f****** cute??

Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)
Panties bras and guitars, socks and shoes and t-shirts
(I want it all!)
Sanrio will make sure every last dollar hurts
(I want it all!)

It’s never good to start a new week with a Hello Kitty fanatic song, but at least it’s not the original Hello Kitty theme song…(warning, listen at your own risk – I’m telling you right now that you don’t want to click on it…)

I told you…

Hello Kitty Antibacterial Soap

When I go to wash my hands, the last thing that I want to see is Hello Kitty. It looks like I will no longer have a choice in the matter with the introduction of Hello Kitty antibacterial soap:

Hello Kitty antibacterial soap

I have a very simple question. Is it at all possible to classify Hello Kitty as bacteria and use this soap on her? I mean, we already know that Hello Kitty is trying to kill us…

Hello Kitty Yuko Yamaguchi

Public enemy number one of this blog:

Hello Kitty Yuko Yamaguchi

She gave an interview to Time Magazine. From the evil creator herself (as if there was ever any doubt of their plans):

What will Hello Kitty be doing in 10 years?

In 10 years’ time, everybody around the world will know her. Also, the number of male and female fans will be the same. Men who are still reluctant to be seen with Kitty in public today might be wearing Hello Kitty boxers. But they will eventually stop being shy and will show off Kitty proudly.

One more warning sign that all is not right in the world…

Hello Kitty Pirate Zombie Tattoo

First there was the Hello Kitty zombie tattoo (and Hello Kitty zombie tattoo 2). Then came the Hello Kitty pirate tattoo. So was there really any doubt that eventually there would be a Hello Kitty pirate zombie tattoo (or should it be called a Hello Kitty zombie pirate tattoo)?

Hello Kitty pirate zombie tattoo

Either way, can somebody seriously please make it stop!

Sent in by aisling who has already punished herself far more than I could ever wish upon her for sending this photo to me by permanently placing these on her flesh…

Hello Kitty Cat Hood in Death

Remember those poor cats (and more cats) and dogs (and even babies and adults) that had were forced to wear Hello Kitty head gear to satisfy the cravings of the Hello Kitty fanatic in their family? One would assume that it couldn’t get much worse than this, but oh, it surely does. If you need proof, I present to you the Hello Kitty cat hood of death:

Hello Kitty cat hood of death

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Hello Kitty men

I’m off for two weeks of vacation which for most people would mean a nice relaxing time, but for me it means having to figure out ways to avoid Hello Kitty in places I’ve never been before. If life has dealt you the unfortunate hand of living with a Hello Kitty fanatic, you already know they have a radar like sense of homing in on anything related to the evil feline.

Anyway, while I’m gone, I thought I’d throw up some of the 500+ photos sent to me that are just as bad as anything I’ve listed on here, but which haven’t gone up yet simply because I don’t have enough time to write about all the Hello Kitty crap that is out there. You can imagine what I would write about it (or you can write it for me in the comments) until I get back. Why don’t we start off with Hello Kitty men:

Hello Kitty men

Seriously, you though that Hello Kitty would limit herself to Hello Kittifying women?

Sent in by far too many people that definitely have way too much time on their hands that they would ever come across something like this…

Hello Kitty Brand Scar

It probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise that I don’t get the popularity of the whole Hello Kitty tattoo thing. You would think that once someone sobered up after getting a Hello Kitty tattoo, they would pretty much have it out of their system (as the beat themselves over the head for being so stupid), but I guess I just don’t get Hello Kitty fanatics (wow, big surprise there). It appears that a Hello Kitty forehead tattoo wasn’t enough for this guy (then again, a Hello Kitty tattoo inked squarely in the middle of your forehead pretty much already signifies that you take the evil feline a bit too seriously), so why not add a Hello Kitty brand scar as well:

Hello Kitty brand scar

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