Braids

I’m not sure what it is with the evil feline and hair. Fanatics, in their delusional exuberance, feel that shaving the cat with no mouth into their hair is a good idea. Or turning their hair into a bow. Or going out and buying a Hello Kitty wig. And let’s not forget that there’s actually a Kitty hair salon. One would think that these people would have embarrassed themselves enough with all of this, but apparently not (which really shouldn’t be a surprise since it seems that this is the goal of their lives). Now we can add the Hello Kitty braid to the mix:

Hello Kitty hair braid

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America's Next Top Model

How can anyone possibly make reality TV any worse than it already is? Although most people wouldn’t think it could be possible, reality has shown it was actually quite easily accomplished. Simply add “Hello Kitty high fashion” and you get what can only be described as fashion created by coughing up a massive Hello Kitty hairball. Don’t believe me? Watch the video (at your own risk as it will undoubtedly scar your brain for life)

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Hello Kitty Elle Cover

You know that you really can’t take a fashion magazine seriously when they are willing to place the evil feline on the cover. You know they have gone completely insane when they think that doing a double cover is something that’s acceptable. We know that Elle Taiwan editors have guzzled the Kool Aid with their December Elle Hello Kitty magazine double cover:

Hello Kitty Elle magazine

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Hello Kitty Acupuncture Needles

If Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to carve the evil feline into their skin (as well as branding), I guess that it really shouldn’t be a surprise that someone would also have no issue having Hello Kitty stabbed into their back with a bunch of acupuncture needles:

Hello Kitty acupuncture needle artist

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Hello Kitty by Swarovski

There are some things in life that when I see, I give thanks that I was somehow spared from the Hello Kitty Hellishness. That is exactly how I feel about this recent Hello Kitty by Swarovski event in Japan (prepare for 5 minutes of sickening sweetness if you dare to watch this video — I highly recommend you use common sense and don’t as this will save your mind from losing several IQ points)

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Hello Kitty Sunburn

As if you really needed any additional proof that Hello Kitty fanatics have a warped sense of thinking, you simply have to ask yourself what would you do if you were going to the beach. Most of us would put on some suntan lotion to prevent a sunburn and have a good time, but the Hello Kitty fanatic thinks a bit differently than you and me. She instead decides to put a Hello Kitty stencil on her body and then purposely get burned so that she can show off her lovely Hello Kitty sunburn to all her friends:

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Hello Kitty Deodorant – Pussy Wind

Seriously, the one thing that you quickly realize living in Hello Kitty Hell is that there is no possible way that you can make up the Hello Kitty crap that exists out there. While I am not usually a fan of Hello Kitty merchandise, there are still those rare instances when Hello Kitty goes to levels so absurd that I believe for a second that she might actually do herself in. Case in point, the new Hello Kitty deodorant which is aptly named Pussy Wind (I kid you not)

Hello Kitty Pussy Wind deodorant

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Hello Kitty Braces

It’s more than a bit ironic that despite Hello Kitty having no mouth, she has quite an oral branding fixation. This irony is all the worse because the Hello Kitty oral branding tends to be some of the worst. It’s difficult to keep one’s sanity when you see things like the Hello Kitty tooth, the Hello Kitty retainers, the Hello Kitty tongue stud and the Hello Kitty tongue and lip tattoos. One would assume that these disasters would bring Hello Kitty fanatics to their senses and that they would realize that Hello Kitty does not belong anywhere near their mouth, but that would be making the terrible assumption that Hello Kitty fanatics have common sense. Thus someone thought that Hello Kitty braces would be a good idea:

hello kitty braces

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Hello Kitty Halloween Nails

You know it’s going to be an extraordinarily terrible holiday season when it begins with Hello Kitty nails being made worse than all the examples already out there (something that any normal person would assume would be impossible). Then again, one thing I have learned over the years is to never underestimate how bad Hello Kitty can make things, especially when you believe you have seen the worst. Thus, it should be of little surprise that someone thought that Hello Kitty Halloween nails would be a good idea:

hello kitty Halloween nails

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