Hello Kitty Hell

Apparently there is a rumor going around that Hello Kitty was created as a result of a pact with the devil. While I would like to claim that this idea was mine (hey, I live in Hello Kitty Hell), it turns out that this episode is far more sinister: The story is how Hello Kitty [...]

It is when I get emails like this that I fear for the future generations of the human race. There really should be a rule at every college that if you feel that Hello Kitty should be on your graduation cap when you are about to graduate, you forfeit your degree and have to begin [...]

Living in Hello Kitty Hell ensures that there are plenty of mentally traumatic experiences that have to be survived on a regular basis. That being said, some of these are much more traumatic than others. The existence of Hello Kitty low rise underwear for men was one such instance and became even more traumatic when [...]

I ended up in the hospital emergency room last week (luckily I didn’t end up in a Hello Kitty hospital or a Hello Kitty examination room). Now, most people would view a trip to the emergency room as a negative experience, but when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, things tend to get a bit [...]

The issue with Hello Kitty baby stuff is that there is actually some unfortunate baby in the world that has to wear and be surrounded by it because, for some unfathomable reason, the parent worshipping the evil feline thinks that it is cute. Now, this baby will likely seek unimaginable revenge upon the offending parent [...]

It was bound to happen. When there were already Hello Kitty Converse high tops, Hello Kitty Reeboks, Hello Kitty Asics (even Hello Kitty bowling shoes), you knew that Hello Kitty would make sure to dig her claws nice and deep into Nike:

True to form, Hello Kitty has an entire nation of ancestors rolling over in their graves. You knew that something like this would have to be made because if there was one image that had not yet been terrifyingly burned into my brain, it was a man wearing a Hello Kitty skirt. The evil feline [...]

When the evil feline puts her claws into you, it’s not pretty and you do things that you will undoubtedly thoroughly regret later in your life. I would be definitely be hiding behind a camera too if I was wearing this ridiculous monstrosity on my head. Sent in by Kate

How do you take a really bad idea like Snuggies and make them even worse? Simple — add the evil feline into the mix and you get a truly horrifying piece of material that is sure to leave you friendless: Of course, Hello Kitty fanatics have been doing the Hello Kitty snuggie bathrobe mod for [...]

It’s never a good sign when you see something in Hello Kitty Hell for the first time, but you can usually console yourself with the fact that it was most likely a one time abnormality that you will never have to witness again. It’s much more worrisome when that image appears for a second time [...]

Seriously, how difficult is it to make a pair of jeans? Apparently, it’s more difficult for Sanrio than for every other clothes manufacturer in the world. Either that or the evil feline wants her fanatic base to be known to each and every person in the world because there is no way in hell that [...]

Hello Kitty is up to her old tricks of putting lots of sparklies on ordinary crap and using the pink horror to blind Hello Kitty fanatics into paying a small fortune for it. When my wife showed me this Hello Kitty Judith Leiber piece (while strongly hinting it would make a wonderful gift) she didn’t [...]

Buy a Hello Kitty sweatshirt and die. That is the warning that the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has issued for Hello Kitty Zip Up Hoodie Sweatshirts by NTD Apparel. Hello Kitty shows her love to children by providing them an effective way to strangle themselves with the hoodie drawstring. Would you expect anything less [...]

Even worse than people asking me to be a Hello Kitty wedding planner is the thought that one day I will have to hear about the concrete plans for my own Hello Kitty wedding. I make every attempt not to write anything about Hello Kitty wedding related stuff because it inevitable leads to trouble. When [...]

The people at Sanrio seem to do everything in their power to make my life miserable in winter. The pink set arrived at our house yesterday and is a perfect example to illustrate this point…

One of the many problems of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that there are far too many unexpected (usually of the horrifying variety) surprises. One would assume that the clothes in my closet would be safe from these events, but I found out a few minutes ago that is not the case when I [...]

You would think that once Halloween was over that everyone could feel safe from the horror of having Hello Kitty fanatics dress up as the evil feline. Sanrio, in all their evilness, has other ideas. In an effort to torture all non Hello Kitty fanatics into submission, Sanrio wants to make dressing up as Hello [...]

You know that you have lived in Hello Kitty Hell far too long when you take a look at photos like this and immediately say to yourself, “well at least her face mask isn’t Hello Kitty” when in reality any sane person would be running as fast as they could in the opposite direction in [...]

What is it with Hello Kitty fanatics and Hello Kitty plush fashion? Seriously, it’s one of the most disturbing trends for the simple fact that someone with absolutely no fashion sense can look at it and know instantly that they would never be caught dead in something like that. It’s bad enough that these types [...]

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…