Hello Kitty Hell

There is no doubt that Hello Kitty likes her rings. She expects her loyal fans to wear them at every stage of their lives, including when they get engaged and even when they get married. But what is a fanatic to do when someone with common sense points out how hideous that ring actually is? [...]

When you think about the evil feline, things don’t get much worse than the things that she brands for weddings. From engagement and wedding rings to wedding dresses (with almost every type of accessory in between), you knew that there was no way that she could resist making the bride the object of hideousness by [...]

The danger with ever posting anything on this blog is that there is a good chance that whatever is posted is not the only one that exists with the evil feline on it, and someone is bound to send me other examples to completely ruin my day. While every guy in the universe secretly hoped [...]

The people at Sanrio have gotten to the point that they aren’t even trying anymore. Seriously. The don’t care at all because they know that the fanatics will buy anything. I think they have even reached the point of actively trying to see if they can find anything that Hello Kitty fanatics won’t buy. There [...]

There are some things in life that when I see, I give thanks that I was somehow spared from the Hello Kitty Hellishness. That is exactly how I feel about this recent Hello Kitty by Swarovski event in Japan (prepare for 5 minutes of sickening sweetness if you dare to watch this video — I [...]

Living in Hello Kitty Hell, you get used to seeing all the overpriced cheap crap that is out there, but the evil feline seems to take the overpriced theory a lot more seriously than most retailers. Case in point, the Hello Kitty POW! necklace which looks like it comes out of one of those gumball [...]

A diamond ribbon, over 400 pink sapphires on its body, a citrine nose, black spinel eyes and made of platinum, there is no doubt that my wife will want this. Luckily for me, her business isn’t so good that she can afford the $150,000 it costs… Sent in by Susan

Hello Kitty, not satisfied to have Hello Kitty body shaped drinks, wants to have her face on all the popular soda drinks as well. While I’m sure that the people at Sanrio are looking into ways to actually create a Hello Kitty Coke and a Hello Kitty Pepsi, until that can be worked out they [...]

Sanrio, in its pursuit to make everything Hello Kitty, has decided to take on history and religion at the same time and wants you to believe that it was Hello Kitty, not Jesus, that died for all your sins:

There are many things wrong in the Hello Kitty universe which is readily apparent by simply going through a few posts on this blog, but there are some that are worse than others. I categorize the Hello Kitty tongue stud as one of these:

It’s really not like my wife needs to pimp out her cell phone in Hello Kitty anymore than it already is, but then that simple piece of logic never makes any sense to a Hello Kitty fanatic. Thus she has her eyes on a $462 (50,000 yen) 18k gold (1.8 grams) Hello Kitty phone strap [...]

In Hello Kitty’s never ending quest to dream up new ways to sell anything with the evil feline on it, the people at Sanrio have once again outdone themselves. If expensive Hello Kitty jewelry for yourself isn’t enough, you can now share it with your dog (No, I’m not kidding…and all for the low price [...]

It would seem that I would be thanking Sanrio for not creating these until after I was already married, but Hello Kitty Hell doesn’t make something like this simply disappear due to timing. While Hello Kitty wedding rings weren’t around when my wife and I got married, their appearance so close to our 10th anniversary [...]

We have already established that Hello Kitty will Hello Kittify virtually everything even to the point of creating the most useless Hello Kitty product ever. Of course, having invented the most useless product ever, she couldn’t stop there and had to try and outdo herself. Thus, we have the Hello Kitty earphone charms: Taking this [...]

My wife has decided that we need to go on random Hello Kitty excursions around Japan these next couple of weeks which means I’m going to have limited time to actually comment about the Hello Kitty Hell I’m suffering through. Instead of leaving the blog blank during this time, I have decided to go through [...]

Sanrio is the master of series which are made specifically to suck in the Hello Kitty fanatic. Our house would be a fraction of the Hello Kitty Hell it is if series didn’t exist. That’s because it is impossible for a Hello Kitty fanatic to get a single item from any series without getting the [...]

There is something seriously wrong in the world when I have to write a blog post about Hello Kitty and diamond rings and feel the necessity to add where the diamond ring is coming from (Neiman Marcus) because it might be confused with other Hello Kitty diamond rings out there. That is just down right [...]

It is stores marketing to Hello Kitty fanatics during the Xmas season that by far worry me the most and you know that they are going to come up with some ridiculously expensive items that all Hello Kitty fanatics are going to be drooling over. This is that award goes to Nihonbashi Mitsukoshi department store [...]

When you live in a Hello Kitty Hell, your perspective on certain things can change dramatically. Take, for example, winning the lottery. Most people dream about how wonderful it would be to win the lottery and how they could buy and do all the things they wished they could if they only had more money. [...]

I received an anonymous email (not sure that opening them up will be such a good idea in the future) telling me I should show my wife the new Hello Kitty pierced belly button rings they have. My wife, of course, knew that it must be something wonderfully Hello Kitty the minute I let out a [...]