Hello Kitty Hell

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog: Hello Kitty Uterus Plush Hello Kitty Guitar Meow! Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans Hello Kitty Cat Litter Hello Kitty Asics Shoes Hello Kitty MP3 Player And a few photo post updates: Hello Kitty Darth [...]

Hello Kitty is no stranger to extremism, so it seems appropriate that there is a Hello Kitty Jihadist plush out there:

How do dogs get back at Hello Kitty for all the evilness that she brings into their lives? Yoshi, a miniature schnauzer, took matters into his own paws and decided that a little alternative sexual entertainment with a sleeping Hello Kitty plush was in order:

Once again the true nature of Hello Kitty fanatics arrived in my email box. Because Hello Kitty fanatics have this strange concept that Hello Kittifying absolutely everything somehow makes whatever has been Hello Kittified cute (hint: it doesn’t), the world end up with disasters like Domokitty:

If you ever see me with a smile like this on my face with that much Hello kitty crap around, you have my permission to take out any of the many Hello Kitty guns available and put me out of my misery. Seriously. (if I was ever caught in a Hello Kitty hood or Hello [...]

Just when I have about given up hope in Hello Kitty Hell, a photo arrives in my email box that brings a smile to my face. Let’s here a big round of applause for the Hello Kitty pincushion:

It was bad enough that pro wrestling decided that Hello Kitty would be a good addition to their lineup, but Sanrio couldn’t let it stop there. That is why you can now purchase your very own Hello Kitty Mexican wrestling mask:

Damn, just damn (shakes head, tries to push image out of mind, feels ice-cream type headache invade brain and no matter what is attempted, the image won’t go away…) I know that part of living in Hello Kitty Hell is the risk that something will show up in my email that will traumatize me for [...]

I should have known that it was going to get worse (this is, after all, Hello Kitty Hell where things always get worse no matter how bad they may seem). Thus we move from the Hello Kitty pink Christmas tree to the Hello Kitty Plush Christmas tree: Of course, my wife loves both and is [...]

If you ever had any doubt that Hello Kitty wants it all, this should help put it to rest. Not satisfied to been the queen of cuteness, Hello Kitty also wants to be sexy. What other explanation can be found for this Hello Kitty Zent race queen plush: What exactly is Zent you ask? It’s [...]

As mentioned previously, Hello Kitty has a problem with other pop culture and invariably tries to make it her own. She has obviously reached the point where all the superheroes have taken too much of the limelight away from her and instead of morphing the superheros into Hello Kitty, she has gone out and created [...]

It only happens once in a blue moon, but it does happen when I least expect it. Something Hello Kitty gets sent to me that makes me believe that there might be light at the end of the Hello Kitty Hell tunnel. Something that makes me think, well, maybe, just maybe, this Hello Kitty Hell [...]

There is a lot about Hello Kitty that scares me, and then there are Hello Kitty items that absolutely petrify me: Apparently the Hello Kitty plush couture dress didn’t remain on the runway. It takes something pretty hideous that is able to both terrify and be just plain wrong at the same time. How anyone, [...]

I know that it is going to be a truly Hello Kitty Hellish day when my wife screams, “OMG!! You’ve got to come here and look at this!!!! It is soooooo cute!” I should have learned by now when those words exit my wife’s mouth, the only logical course of action is to induce some [...]

I received an email from someone who challenged me saying that I was making Hello Kitty Hell up and exaggerating. Oh, if only that were truly the case!! The one thing that you will learn as you continue to read this saga is that it all gets so absurd that nobody could ever be creative enough to [...]