Hello Kitty Hell

It isn’t often that I come across a Hello Kitty item that I like, but this one has potential:

Now all we need is for her to lose the bow and the body and it would be a Hello Kitty that even I could appreciate…
Courtesy of artist Joseph Senior

My wife and I were taking a walk today when she asked if I’d like some water. I said “yes” and was handed one of these:

Your eyes do not deceive you. The evil feline has her own line of bottled mineral water which I’m sure they have drugged with something that completely alters your perceptions [...]

We have already established that there isn’t a single product that Hello Kitty doesn’t love to hijack into her own likeness, but she is also the master of creating events (where no even truly exists) to sell completely useless, overpriced junk that can only leave a normal person shaking their head asking, “Do people really [...]

If anyone thought that Hello Kitty would stop at trying to take over after creating her own western religion and an alternative would have greatly underestimated the world domination plans of this little feline. She also has her hand in Eastern religion with her own shrine with (of course) her as the deity under the [...]

Earphones seem to be a theme of late. Since Hello Kitty has never found a technology she didn’t like and want to Kittify (actually, as this blog plainly shows, she has never found anything that she wasn’t willing to Kittify), it really came as no surprise when my wife found a Hello Kitty bluetooth wireless [...]

Not satisfied with only having the Hello Kitty earphone charms, my wife decided that she needed her headphones to be branded with the omnipresent feline. As is no surprise, she found exactly what she was looking for:

My wife knows that I like music and she got to get me to wear them by telling me [...]

For those of you who have been following this blog for awhile, you may have noticed I recently changed the look of the blog. While I eventually chose the theme that you see in front of you, my wife thought that I should go with the Hello Kitty Wordpress theme:

Yes, you know things are bad [...]

I guess something like this shouldn’t surprise me. If there is a Hello Kitty Star Wars stormtrooper tattoo and a Hello Kitty zombie tattoo, it was only inevitable that someone would get a Hello Kitty pirate tattoo (especially with the recent Hello Kitty skull bow tattoo):

Of course, my wife loves it, especially the heart shaped [...]

Reminder – it’s today
Time to mark your TV calendar and set your recording devices. I received an email from another poor soul that lives in Hello Kitty Hell letting me know that he and his girlfriend will be on the Tyra Banks show this Thursday, September 20th to talk about his girlfriend’s Hello Kitty fanaticism. [...]

I have avoided talking about our car and the continual Hello Kittification of it lately. The reason is simple. The damn thing just freaks me out more and more every time I look at it. All those little Hello Kitty modifications add up over time and it’s embarrassing to be seen in it. It’s not [...]

Seriously, how many Hello Kitty computer themes do you really need in this world? There was a time not too long ago that you had to pimp out your own Hello Kitty computer, but that is far from the case these days as Hello Kitty Laptops are now made. In fact, it seems with all [...]

It would seem that I would be thanking Sanrio for not creating these until after I was already married, but Hello Kitty Hell doesn’t make something like this simply disappear due to timing. While Hello Kitty wedding rings weren’t around when my wife and I got married, their appearance so close to our 10th anniversary [...]

When I first saw this, I thought I might have some fun making it go down long flights of stairs until it eventually showed the wear and tear of countless missteps along the way. No such luck because it isn’t a Hello Kitty slinky:

but a Hello Kitty letter holder. So instead of getting to [...]

My wife didn’t like this photo:

I wonder why???
Courtesy of Kat — and several others later (via threadless) who I owe a beer for finding something Hello Kitty that my wife didn’t like

If you have been reading this blog for awhile, then you may remember that I came across an item that I initially thought was some kind of weirded out Hello Kitty sex toy, but ultimately ended up being something else. You can imagine my surprise when this arrived in the mail:

I must admit that my [...]

Even though I specifically say not to email where to find Hello Kitty items, I still receive emails asking me where to find them. This has lead me to several theories. 1) Hello Kitty fanatics can’t read. 2) Hello Kitty fanatics don’t understand the meaning of the words “I’m not going to tell you.” 3) [...]

It didn’t take long for my wife to find something to match her hideously Hello Kitty pimped out cell phone that she is trying to convince me that I need because it comes with a “blog” function (whatever that means, but it is how they are advertising it) and since I write this blog about [...]

I should know by now that there is no such thing as a normal conversation when you live in Hello Kitty Hell. If the conversation has anything to do with something that might be needed, I will find it at our doorstep a week later in all its Hello Kittiness. That is how the Hello [...]

We have already established that Hello Kitty will Hello Kittify virtually everything even to the point of creating the most useless Hello Kitty product ever. Of course, having invented the most useless product ever, she couldn’t stop there and had to try and outdo herself. Thus, we have the Hello Kitty earphone charms:

Taking this to [...]

There are Hello Kitty tattoos. There are Hello Kitty combination tattoos. There are Hello Kitty tattoos on dogs, above breasts and in the form of zombies. What these all had in common was that they were tattooed onto Hello Kitty fanatics of the female persuasion. Apparently there are also men that feel a permanent etching [...]