Hello Kitty Photo Dump

It’s that time of the week again when those posts that that didn’t make the front page are listed for self induced torture for those who decide for some unfathomable reason that you must go and visit them (It must be car wreck syndrome — you know you shouldn’t look, but you have to anyway…). The scariest part is that it seems no matter how many of these I list, more still arrive – a constant Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Nails (update)
Hello Kitty .45 Caliber Handgun
Hello Kitty Radio Controlled Truck
Hello Kitty and Disco Stormtrooper Costumes
Hello Kitty Box Cutter
Hello Kitty Swine Flu Mask
Hello Kitty eMac
Hello Kitty Jack-o-Lantern (update)
Hello Kitty Bloodfest
Hello Kitty Darth Vader Halloween Costume
Hello Kitty Halloween Tattoo
Hello Kitty Three Apples Fashion
Hello Kitty Headband Bow (update)
Hello Kitty Roller Coaster

Hello Kitty .45 Caliber Handgun

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

Another week, another gun to add to the Hello Kitty gun collection. It’s more than a little disturbing that Hello Kitty guns have become so common that my reaction is “oh, another Hello Kitty gun” and no “wtf is wrong with the human race?” It won’t be too much longer that the evil feline will be able to arm her own army…

Hello Kitty 45 gun

Sent in by gunlovr

Hello Kitty Coat

What is it with Hello Kitty fanatics and Hello Kitty plush fashion? Seriously, it’s one of the most disturbing trends for the simple fact that someone with absolutely no fashion sense can look at it and know instantly that they would never be caught dead in something like that. It’s bad enough that these types of outfits actually make their way onto the runway or are produced for special occasions (or worn by people that should never be let out of the house), but for someone to feel that it’s OK to wear a Hello Kitty plush coat as normal everyday wear?

Hello Kitty coat

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Hello Kitty Radio Controlled Truck

I’m not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that they actually make a Hello Kitty radio-controlled truck or the amount of fun that the person seems to be having using it. I kept hoping against hope that someone would walk by and step on the damn thing or that it would fall down a flight of stairs and give a satisfying end to the video — no such luck…

Sent in by radioman

Hello Kitty and Disco Stormtrooper Costumes

This is definitely going to be a long and horrifying Halloween if this is any indication of the Hello Kitty Halloween costumes that will be finding their way into my mailbox over the next few days. If you can be judged by the friends you keep, this pretty much explains the Hello Kitty I know…

Hello Kitty Disco Stormtrooper

Sent in by simon

Hello Kitty Box Cutter

I have no doubt that Hello Kitty will be the death of me. One day the sweetness will become so overwhelming that I will find myself trying to get it out of my system by slicing my wrists. Apparently the evil feline wants to give me a choice when this time comes: I can go for the Hello Kitty knife or I can choose the Hello Kitty box cutter:

Hello Kitty boxcutter

Hello Kitty boxcutter

Sent in by Helen

Hello Kitty Ferrari

You know that the results are not going to be good when a Hello Kitty fanatic has a lot of money. The one fact that we could console ourselves with when seeing the Hello Kitty Ferrari was that it was photoshopped, but you knew it was simply a matter of time that a Hello Kitty fanatic with a lot of money thought that making a real Hello Kitty Ferrari would be a good idea. If you love cars, simply walk away at this point and don’t come back because you won’t be able to undo what you have just seen:

Hello Kitty Ferrari exhaust

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Hello Kitty Swine Flu Mask

Apparently the evil feline wants us to believe that flu masks adorned with her image are more than just fashion statements and are actually something you would want to wear to help prevent swine flu. While Hello Kitty fanatics may be willing to place their health in the hands of Hello Kitty products, (as I have stated before, I solve this problem by never getting colds) my experience is that Hello Kitty doesn’t always produce the best quality merchandise out there…just saying.

Hello Kitty swine flu mask

KamikazeH20mln (via womensday)

Update: And more people willing to put their health care in the paws of the evil feline:

Hello Kitty H1N1 flu mask

Hello Kitty flu face mask

Sent in by Penina of herself and her friend Dana

Hello Kitty health mask

Sent in by Sabree

Hello Kitty Latex Fashion Show

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…

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Hello Kitty eMac

What’s worse than an Apple lover embracing Microsoft? When users of Apple products start accepting the Hello Kitty and deciding it’s all right to even modify old hardware to celebrate the evil feline. Let’s just pray that this doesn’t foreshadow a whole line of Apple Hello Kitty computers in the future…

Hello Kitty emac

Sent in by crystal (and also left via facebook)

Hello Kitty Bloodfest

There are some things about Hello Kitty fanatics I just don’t want to know. Apparently there is a a rave called Bloodfest where “the Infamous Boom Boom does his blood bath performance which is basically simulated sex in a tub full of blood and bones.” This year Boom Boom incorporated the below Hello Kitty plush into the act and for your sanity, I’ll leave out the details of what he did. While this certainly sounds like the crowd where the evil feline belongs, feel free not to share these stories with me in the future:

Hello Kitty Bloodfest

Sent in by Hello Kizee

Hello Kitty Darth Vader Halloween Costume

I never thought I would say this (and the fact that I’m about to is further proof that things are incredibly wrong in the world), but the Hello Kitty Darth Vader is becoming downright common. First there was the photoshopped Hello Kitty Darth Vader that lead to anime convention circuit Hello Kitty Darth Vader which lead to the Hello Kitty Darth Vader combination that just should have never come into existence (with the Hello Kitty Darth Vader tattoo thrown in for good measure). So is it any surprise that the Hello Kitty Darth Vader is now seen as an acceptable Halloween costume?

Hello Kitty Darth Vader Halloween costume

Sent in by swhero

Hello Kitty Beauty Pageant

The thing that I fear most in Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I have kids. It’s an absolutely no win situation, first and foremost, because she will want to have the baby conceived in a Hello Kitty bondage room and delivered in a Hello Kitty maternity ward. If it’s a baby boy, he’s going to have to grow up dealing with Hello Kitty all around. If it’s a baby girl, well, suffice to say that all Hello Kitty Hell will break loose and my current situation will seem mild by comparison. That’s because things like Hello Kitty beauty pageants for kids exist:

Hello Kitty beauty pageant

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Hello Kitty Three Apples Fashion

A few more reasons that my sanity is happy that I was able to avoid the entire Three Apples art exhibit and 35th anniversary celebration in person — There was no doubt that the Hello Kitty fanatics would be out in droves with their corresponding hideous Hello Kitty fashion outfits:

Hello Kitty fashion

Hello Kitty fashion at three apples

Hello Kitty three apples fashion

Left on twitter by aminerat (via laweekly)

Hello Kitty Halloween Tattoo

I have reached the point that I no longer even try to understand why Hello Kitty fanatics choose to ink the stuff they do on themselves. Despite the fact that nobody in the right mind would ever want to see it, I guess that with Halloween so close to the evil feline’s birthday that it had to happen — the Hello Kitty Halloween tattoo:

Hello Kitty Halloween tattoo

Sent in by josie

Hello Kitty Weekly Photo Dump

Another week and another list of photos that didn’t make the front page of the blog, but are still worthy of Hello Kitty Hell. As always, it’s best to turn off your computer or move onto another blog and ignore these because you will surely wish you hadn’t seen them if you click on the links. For those that feel a lot of pain and anguish is exactly what you need at the moment, click away…

Hello Kitty Crystal Music Player
Hello Kitty Munster Tattoo
Hello Kitty Car Window Decal
Hello Kitty Nails
Hello Kitty Sig Sauer p226 Gun
How To Make a Hello Kitty Mascot Head
Hello Kitty Detox Cute and the Beauty Junkies Song
Hello Kitty Cutting Board (update)
Hello Kitty Pokemon Fetish (nsfw – or your sanity)
Hello Kitty True Identity
Hello Kitty Hello Kitty (update)
Hello Kitty Jack-o-Lantern
Hello Kitty Shower

Hello Kitty Crystal Music Player

It’s not like the world needs another Hello Kitty digital music player, but just because something is not needed doesn’t mean the evil feline won’t sell it. In this case she resorts to her favorite marketing tool that is sure to appeal to all the Hello Kitty fanatics — covering the digital music player with lots and lots of bling in the form of Swarovski crystals. Not only does this keep the fanatic happy, but it also blinds everyone else to the evil that is coming…

Hello Kitty crystal music player

Hello Kitty crystal digital music player

Hello Kitty Swarovski  music player

Sent in by andrea

Hello Kitty Sid Vicious Sex Pistols Mural

The evil feline has no shame. It was obvious that the entire Three Apples 35th Anniversary celebration was going to be Pepto Bismol pink Hell from the beginning, and the appearance of Paris Hilton made things that much worse. Now that photos from the event are being sent to me left and right (seriously folks, I’ve already seen far more than I ever want to see of this event), this travesty shows that Hello Kitty will try to brand herself to absolutely anything — there is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty Sid Vicious mural:

Hello Kitty Sid Vicious Sex Pistols Mural

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