Category Archives: Baby

Hello Kitty Breast Pump

One of the most disturbing aspects of the evil feline is her insistence of being a part of every bodily function a person has. She wants to be there when you defecate in the form of what you use, what you wipe yourself with (in a a variety of patterns including KISS) and where your waste eventually ends up. Then she insists on being around when it’s that time of the month and when things need to be refreshed down … Continue reading

Posted in Baby, Gadgets, Strange | Leave a comment

Baby Tattoo

One of the worst parts of knowing someone who loves the cat-with-no-mouth is that they can’t keep their fanaticism to themselves. They feel the uncontrollable desire to make everyone in their life as miserable as possible by making everything about the Sanrio character which everyone with an ounce of common sense loathes with a passion. While that in itself is painful enough for the vast majority of us living in Hello Kitty Hell, the fanatics can’t leave it there (surprise, … Continue reading

Posted in Baby, Strange, Tattoo | 11 Comments

Hello Kitty Fetus

Because there is absolutely nothing that the evil feline believes can’t be Hello Kittified, you have things like the Hello Kitty uterus plush, the Hello Kitty bondage room, the Hello Kitty retainer and Hello Kitty motor oil (it’s quite sad that I could go on and on with this list). Suffice to say, Hello Kitty once again shows us that she is willing to make anything in her image to make a buck — including the Hello Kitty fetus:

Posted in Art, Baby, Strange | 54 Comments

Hello Kitty Baby Stuff

The issue with Hello Kitty baby stuff is that there is actually some unfortunate baby in the world that has to wear and be surrounded by it because, for some unfathomable reason, the parent worshipping the evil feline thinks that it is cute. Now, this baby will likely seek unimaginable revenge upon the offending parent for doing this to her when she is old enough to realize the child abuse that had been thrust upon her (unfortunately, I also must … Continue reading

Posted in Baby, Clothes, Fashion | 6 Comments

Hello Kitty Pregnant Belly Art

Sometimes I get emails that simply confirm that the next generation is doomed to live their own hello Kitty Hell. A perfect example of this is Hello Kitty pregnant belly art:

Posted in Art, Baby, Strange | 26 Comments

Hello Kitty Baby Perfume

Sometimes when I see new Hello Kitty products, I think that Sanrio must actually be running out of things to Hello Kittify since there is no other explanation as to why some of these things are made. That, and the overwhelming focus that it’s never too early to indoctrinate the child masses into the Sanrio cult, is why you have products like Hello Kitty Baby perfume:

Posted in Baby, Beauty, Strange | 61 Comments

Hello Kitty Rubber Duck

It’s been well established that Hello Kitty can’t leave anything alone that may be popular that doesn’t have her on it. She co-opts anything and everything and turns what used to be something that could be enjoyed by all into a horrific example of everything that it wrong. Case in point — the Hello Kitty rubber duck:

Posted in Baby, Strange, Toys | 36 Comments

Hello Kitty Baby

Once again Hello Kitty Hell proves that it can always get worse… You knew it had to happen eventually. If Hello Kitty fanatics were willing to place Hello Kitty heads on cats and dogs, it didn’t take much of a leap to know they would eventually do it to their own babies as well: This is so obviously wrong that I don’t know where to even begin. Isn’t there a law somewhere that states completely humiliating your child for the … Continue reading

Posted in Baby, Fashion, Strange | 56 Comments

Hello Kitty Bubble Bath – It Kills You…

I always knew that Hello Kitty was evil, I just didn’t have the proof…until now. It appears that Hello Kitty Bubble Bath would like to give you cancer: The characters are irresistible to your child, but a new study reveals there’s a suspected human cancer-causing chemical inside millions of bottles of bubbles… The FDA recommends a maximum of 10 parts per million (ppm) of the contaminant. The author says of the products tested, 15% exceeded that recommendation. Among the children’s … Continue reading

Posted in Baby, Beauty | 33 Comments

Hello Kitty Baby Car Seat

While I do complain a lot about being in Hello Kitty Hell, I know that it will become 1000 times worse if we ever have a baby girl. If we have a baby boy, I’m afraid that he will be scarred for life even before he knows how to talk. But even though we don’t have kids at the moment, that doesn’t stop my wife from showing me all the baby things she wants to have when we do. When … Continue reading

Posted in Baby, Vehicle | 58 Comments