Hello Kitty Baby Stuff

The issue with Hello Kitty baby stuff is that there is actually some unfortunate baby in the world that has to wear and be surrounded by it because, for some unfathomable reason, the parent worshipping the evil feline thinks that it is cute. Now, this baby will likely seek unimaginable revenge upon the offending parent for doing this to her when she is old enough to realize the child abuse that had been thrust upon her (unfortunately, I also must say “or him” — the sad fact is that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t really care). In their early formative years, however, they are absolutely defenseless to the torturous indoctrination. Skeptical? This is what happens to a baby that ends up with a Hello Kitty fanatic that has access to Hello Kitty baby stuff:

hello kitty baby stuff

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Hello Kitty vs Hagar the Horrible

It’s not often that the week ends on a positive note when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, but sometimes there is a tiny ray of light that shines through all the darkness and brings a smile to my face. This is especially true when you realize that you are not alone in your fight against the horrors of the evil feline. Apparently Hagar the Horrible shares my feelings on how Hello Kitty should be treated. Enjoy:

h is for

Sent in by many via Neil Cameron

Hello Kitty Gatling Gun

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

It has been more than obvious for some time now that Hello Kitty loves her guns. It has also become glaringly obvious that the evil feline expects that she is going to need all the weaponry that she can possibly get her hands on when making that final push to take over the world. To add to her ever increasing stash, she now has the Hello Kitty rotary gun (with matching Hello Kitty helmet and Hello Kitty ammo case just for good measure)

hello kitty rotary gun

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Hello Kitty Fanatic Kid Hell

When it comes to Hello Kitty Hell, the question is who has it the worst. Obviously, everyone and everything that has contact with the Hello Kitty fanatic has to endure their own form of Hello Kitty Hell. While I maintain that it is the significant others of the Hello Kitty fanatic that have it the worst (still doubt?), the dogs and cats of the Hello Kitty fanatic certainly have a valid claim as well. Add the kids of Hello Kitty fanatics to the mix:

hello kitty fanatic kid

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Hello Kitty Bow Ring

There really should be a law that prohibits the combination of Hello Kitty and rings which should have been evident from the Hello Kitty wedding rings. Of course, the evil feline would never let the horror stop there. Case in point — another hideous left-over from the Three Apples event which should obviously die a fiery death, but people keep insisting on sending me: The Hello Kitty bow ring.

hello kitty bow ring

I guess Hello Kitty fanatics like the boxing glove look (although I must admit that simply seeing this makes me want to punch something)…

Sent in by far too many people who obviously have way too much time on their hands and are clinically blind.

Hello Kitty iPhone

Life gives you a very different perspective on gadgets when you live in Hello Kitty Hell. While most people crave the latest and greatest electronic toys out there, those that share their lives with fanatics of Hello Kitty live in fear with each new popular gadget that hits the stores. This is because we know that it’s only a matter of time before that popular gadget comes in Pepto Bismol pink covered with the evil feline.

I already hate cell phones in general because of what my wife does to them. When we lived in Japan, I avoided having to live with a Hello Kitty iPhone because there were so many other cell phones that were superior to it there that my wife wanted, but now that we are back in the US, my wife is insisting that she needs an iPhone. I have no doubt that this is what it is going to ultimately look like:

hello kitty 3G iPhone

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Hello Kitty Magazine in UK

You know, I would think that by now people would realize that I really have no desire to help them spread the cult of Hello Kitty — but of course, that would be greatly underestimating the intellect of those that promote the evil feline. Case in point — this recently ended up in my email box:

Dearest Gatekeeper of HK Hell,

I’ve just started working for HK mag UK, and one of the segments I produce is about the bonkers things people do in the name of Hello Kitty… Needless to say, 90% of images/references/posts all come back to your site. I’m hoping you might be willing to provide me with contact details for key images/pieces/products that you feature…

This by no means would see you endorsing the mag, product or Hello Kitty, but would simply be a way for people to have an alternative avenue to showcase their endeavours. As I’ve just come on-board at the mag, I don’t have an established fan-base to draw upon; your blog is literally the best reference internationally for such things — Alessandra

It seems that now Hello Kitty magazines believe it’s my job to do their work for them because it is obvious to them how much I would actually love spending more time than I already have to with the evil feline. It really is not a good sign in Hello Kitty Hell when people from Hello Kitty magazines are contacting me for help. It’s even worse that they considered HKH the best international reference for things Hello Kitty. I have a feeling it is going to be a long, long week…

Hello Kitty War Tattoo

We already know that Hello Kitty loves her weapons and that Hello Kitty fanatics will basically ink anything and everything on themselves. The two of these separately are enough to make any sane person cringe with horrifying fear. Obviously, that is not enough for the evil feline as the Hello Kitty war tattoo plainly shows:

hello kitty war tattoo

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Hello Kitty Ultimate Cage Fighting

One would imagine that there would be certain sports where Hello Kitty, no matter how hard she tried, would never be accepted. Of course, that would once again greatly underestimating the evil feline and her quest to put her face absolutely every where. For those of you who still doubt, here is the Hello Kitty extreme cage fighter:

hello kitty cage fighting

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Hello Kitty Por Vida Tattoo

In the never ending line of Hello Kitty tattoos that make you thankful that you have at least an ounce of common sense, we now add the Hello Kitty Por Vida tattoo. I’m sure there will never be any regrets here with this tattoo just as there are never any regrets of forever giving your life to a gang…

hello kitty por vida tattoo

Sent in by Senorita Cheeba

Hello Kitty Chihuahua

I must have really done something really (and I mean beyond belief)terrible in my last life because there simply is not another explanation as to why I have found myself suffering in Hello Kitty Hell. There are very few things in the world that I can think of that would be worse than being the significant other of a Hello Kitty fanatic. One of those few things is being the pet of a Hello Kitty fanatic because you end up on the street looking like this:

Hello Kitty Chihuahua

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Pink Gun

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

The evil feline can never have enough weapons to arm her hoards of fanatics when it comes time to forcibly take over the world. Another Hello Kitty pink hand gun to add to that collection:

hello kitty pink gun

Sent in by Shelly

Hello Kitty Nightmare Video

One of the most difficult aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is explaining the complete fanaticism of Hello Kitty fanatics to people who have never met one. They simply have no reference, and any sane person would find it unbelievable the lengths that fanatics will go to surround themselves with the evil feline. This video gives a taste of what every Hello Kitty fanatic would like their house to look like (my wife is certainly doing her utmost to equal, if not surpass, it).

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Hello Kitty Hannibal Lecter Tattoo

If there is one thing that you can say about Hello Kitty fanatics, it is that they have created far more than their fair share of what becomes major tattoo regret the second they realize what that have inked on their bodies. One would think that the Hello Kitty fanatic would learn something from this and decide that Hello Kitty tattoo combinations are to be avoided at all cost. Of course, you would be wrong as the Hello Kitty Hannibal Lecter tattoo once again demonstrates that there is no end to the number of Hello Kitty tattoos that make you shake your head and wonder “wtf were they thinking?”:

Hello Kitty Hannibal Lecter tattoo

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