Hello Kitty Hell

In her never ending quest to unwittingly create the worst tattoos in the history of mankind (and to use absolutely any avenue possible to further her into the limelight on the backs of others), the evil feline decided that a Hello Kitty Michael Jordan tattoo would somehow be a good idea:

You knew it was simply a matter of time. With Hello Kitty retainers and Hello Kitty braces was there ever really any doubt? I even mentioned it when the Hello Kitty tooth came to my attention that it it was inevitable that at some point there would be a Hello Kitty grill:

It is already well established that Hello Kitty wants us to all eventually live in a Hello Kitty house, and she is (unfortunately) making sure that the house has absolutely every accessory that one could imagine — a Hello Kitty home bar, Hello Kitty wall displays and far too many Hello Kitty appliances to mention. [...]

One would think that Hello Kitty couldn’t get much scarier than she already is, but that would be vastly underestimating the complete incomprehensibility of Hello Kitty fanatics and the combinations that they somehow perceive to be positive. A perfect example is the Hello Kitty mime:

When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, you always have to be extra careful what you wish for. I was imagining how it would be absolutely wonderful when winter is over and the warm weather is once again upon us. Then this Hello Kitty bikini monstrosity landed in my email proving that exile to Antarctica [...]

When it comes to Hello Kitty fanatics, you can be pretty sure that their unfortunate obsession includes shoes. It doesn’t matter if they are Hello Kitty Reeboks, Hello Kitty Nikes, Hello Kitty Asics or the infamous Hello Kitty Converse (seriously folks, over 300 comments mostly from fanatics whining) — and that is not to mention [...]

I should know better. Hello Kitty fanatics waste absolutely no time spreading the torture of the upcoming holiday at hand. With the beginning of a new month, I should have known that it was going to be a mistake to open any email that had Hello Kitty and <3 in the title. Apparently Hello Kitty [...]