Hello Kitty Loves Butthead Pipe

It is a well known fact that Hello Kitty enjoys her drugs (not to mention drug lords). Whether it is Hello Kitty cocaine, Hello Kitty acid or Hello Kitty marijuana, we now know what Hello Kitty enjoys doing when she is taking these drugs with this little memento left on a Hello Kitty pipe — getting it on with Butt Head from Beavis and Butthead:

Hello Kitty Beavis and Butthead pipe

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Hello Kitty Wedding Ring Tattoo

As difficult as it is to imagine, Hello Kitty fanatics have come up with a way to make even the Hello Kitty wedding ring look like it could be a good option. In their never ending drive to make every guy with even an ounce of sanity stay as far away as possible from them, a Hello Kitty fanatic somehow decided that a Hello Kitty finger tattoo in combination with the “always forever” sentiment of a Hello Kitty wedding ring would be a wonderful idea. Even more unfathomable, the Hello Kitty fanatic was able to convince her significant other that this idea wasn’t completely and utterly insane. Thus he has to live with the Hello Kitty wedding ring tattoo for eternity:

hello kitty wedding ring tattoo

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Hello Kitty T Shirt Collection

For some unfathomable reason, Hello Kitty fanatics feel that it’s appropriate to send me photos of their Hello Kitty collections. Believe me, opening an email filled with photos of a Hello Kitty collection is probably one of the most hellish things that one can ever experience, especially early in the morning or just after a meal. This Hello Kitty T Shirt collection left me nauseated for the rest of the week:

Hello Kitty T Shirt collection

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Hello Kitty Terminator Tattoo

For some reason which I still have not been able to fathom, people feel compelled to ruin my day by sending me photos of their tattoos of the evil feline. It’s as if they believe that their tattoo will somehow convince me that I have somehow misinterpreted my Hello Kitty Hell and all of a sudden I will become a born again Hello Kitty fanatic. The truth is that I simply see another addition to the never ending line of people who will undoubtedly regret their Hello Kitty tattoos. The latest case to perfectly illustrate this is the Hello Kitty terminator tattoo:

hello kitty terminator tattoo

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Hello Kitty Septic Tank

When we know that Hello Kitty toilets, Hello Kitty toilet paper, Hello Kitty toilet paper storage cabinets, Hello Kitty toilet signs, Hello Kitty toilet seats and Hello Kitty toilet dispensers all exist (and how can anyone forget the Hello Kitty urinal target— are we seeing a pattern here yet?), it really isn’t much of a stretch to image that those who love the evil feline would want a Hello Kitty septic tank:

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Hello Kitty Duct Tape

The problem with Hello Kitty is that no matter what your profession, the evil feline will eventually find a way to infiltrate the way you make your living and permanently scar your sanity in the process. I have no doubt that handymen thought they were safe from the terror of Hello Kitty — oh, how wrong they were. Handymen around the world have undoubtedly died a little inside (and likely have constant nightmares that this will show up in their work box) with the introduction of Hello Kitty duct tape:

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Hello Kitty Giant Bow Tattoo

While there are numerous things that one can say about Hello Kitty fanatics, I guess there is one thing that you can never say. That is that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t provide an ample amount of “wtf?” into the lives of all the sane people in the world. This is especially true when it comes to Hello Kitty tattoos as yet another one so perfectly illustrates:

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Hello Kitty Sunburn

As if you really needed any additional proof that Hello Kitty fanatics have a warped sense of thinking, you simply have to ask yourself what would you do if you were going to the beach. Most of us would put on some suntan lotion to prevent a sunburn and have a good time, but the Hello Kitty fanatic thinks a bit differently than you and me. She instead decides to put a Hello Kitty stencil on her body and then purposely get burned so that she can show off her lovely Hello Kitty sunburn to all her friends:

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Hello Kitty Deodorant – Pussy Wind

Seriously, the one thing that you quickly realize living in Hello Kitty Hell is that there is no possible way that you can make up the Hello Kitty crap that exists out there. While I am not usually a fan of Hello Kitty merchandise, there are still those rare instances when Hello Kitty goes to levels so absurd that I believe for a second that she might actually do herself in. Case in point, the new Hello Kitty deodorant which is aptly named Pussy Wind (I kid you not)

Hello Kitty Pussy Wind deodorant

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