Hello Kitty Hell

I received the following question in my email the other day: What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there? “Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics [...]

For most people that want a home, the dream is to have a little house with a white picket fence. The Hello Kitty fanatic, on the other hand, has a dream (and a nightmare to their partners) of a Hello Kitty house with pink Hello Kitty picket fence.

In her never ending quest to be a part of absolutely everything that exists, Hello Kitty has decided to morph into steampunk form:

The full extent of the Hello Kitty Hellish nightmare that my wife is imagining for our next house is coming into full view. She already has her sights set on a Hello Kitty brick house, and thinks that landscaping the yard with Hello Kitty bushes would add the perfect touch:

The problem with Hello Kitty Hell is that even something that is already far more horrendous than most people can imagine without wanting to physically hurt themselves can be made infinitely worse by additions that the Hello Kitty fanatic wants to make. Take, for example, the Hello Kitty house. Most people would take one look [...]

Anyone that lives in Hello Kitty Hell knows that Hello Kitty is more than happy to place her image on virtually anything. So it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that the evil feline would also like everyone to believe that she has been around forever (or at the very least, hundreds of years) because [...]

The never ending problem with Hello Kitty is that Sanrio and fanatics have learned that everyone has a price and therefore anything can be Hello Kittified. Want someone to make you a Hello Kitty beer stein for your Hello Kitty beer? Unfortunately, this is not a problem:

If you are ever involved with someone that insists that you paint your house Pepto Bismol pink, that is a sign that you should seriously consider getting out of the relationship. If they then take it a step further and put a Hello Kitty on the garage door with a sparkly heart underneath (and Mickey [...]

As with all things Hello Kitty, no matter how bad you think they have become, somewhere out there the evil feline is ready to show that things can always get worse. It was bad enough that they made a Hello Kitty cocktail, not to mention Hello Kitty wine, Hello Kitty sake and even Hello Kitty [...]

You really don’t know Hello Kitty Hell until a true Hello Kitty fanatic is in your presence on a daily basis. Imagine, for instance, that you had a co-worker that was a Hello Kitty fanatic. You might be saying to yourself, “oh, I know someone that likes the evil feline” but they really aren’t a [...]

If you ever see me with a smile like this on my face with that much Hello kitty crap around, you have my permission to take out any of the many Hello Kitty guns available and put me out of my misery. Seriously. (if I was ever caught in a Hello Kitty hood or Hello [...]

What would be worse than a house full of Hello Kitty crap? How about a Hello Kitty House full of Hello Kitty crap?

Anyone who has read this blog for awhile knows about the Hello Kitty sleeping bag and how I spend far too much time in it on our couch. It simply goes to show how much I suffer in Hello Kitty Hell that this sleeping bag had been used so much that my wife decided that [...]

Eight minutes of pure Hello Kitty Hell (view at your own risk of permanent brain damage)…

It’s all right. Settle down and catch your breath. I know you read that headline and just about had a heart attack thinking that I had finally completely lost it. I’m sure you pictured me having been taken away in a Hello Kitty straight jacket to spend the rest of my life knocking my head [...]

Receiving emails with Hello Kitty photos attached is disturbing in itself, but even more disturbing is the trend of people sending me photos of their personal Hello Kitty stuff: Here is a simple question. Why in the world would I want to look at your Hello Kitty crap when I already have to spend the [...]

Just one more indication that Hello Kitty fans can’t leave even a bad idea alone. I was already cringing at the Hello Kitty flower bouquets, but there was no way that the evil feline would stop at that. Instead, she morphed the bouquet from flowers to fruit creating a Hello Kitty edible fruit bouquet: Yes, [...]

One would assume that once you have Hello Kitty toilet paper, and a Hello Kitty electronic toilet paper dispenser, you have pretty much covered all the toilet paper Hello Kittification that you can, but remembering that this is Hello Kitty Hell, there is always something else to place the evil feline on. Thus the bright [...]

The things about Hello Kitty fanatics is that they take something Hello Kitty that is already unbearable like the Hello Kitty hotel room (which one would assume could never get any worse) and combine it into a video with a song that takes it to as yet unknown nauseating level (warning: play the video at [...]

Just when you think that Hello Kitty can’t possibly appear someplace more inappropriate than where she has already ventured, she once again shows that things can always get worse. It’s not often that I’m sent an e-mail with a Hello Kitty product that I’m not sure if I should despise or love — that is [...]