Hello Kitty Eye Mask

I hate Hello Kitty eye masks. My wife sleeps with them on and there are literally dozens of different patterns on the market. While they help keep the light out of her eyes, they also perpetually have me inches away from dying of a heart attack.

Imagine for a moment that your significant other rolls over while you’re fast asleep and gently snuggles against you. Still 90% asleep, you turn over so that you are face to face, place your arms around her in loving fashion. Still mostly asleep, you then slowly open your eyes expecting to see your significant other’s face and this is what greets you. Unfortunately, this is a far too regular occurrence in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty eyemask

Hello Kitty eye mask

Sent in by sophia

Update: Another way to ensure that your significant other is traumatized each and every morning:

Hello Kitty eye mask

Hello Kitty sleep mask

Sent in by HK Guy

Hello Kitty MAC Cosmetic Signage

I would basically like to wipe the entire Hello Kitty MAC cosmetic line — and the advertising they did — completely from my mind due to the traumatizing effect it caused that I’m still recovering from. It’s difficult to have a positive outlook on life when you have seen the MAC make-up video and S&M Hello Kitty men. So it is no surprise that the artwork signage for MAC also leaves one shaking their head wondering what type of drugs the people were taking that came up with the entire concept. Maybe they took a few too many tokes from the Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton bong or got hold of some of that Hello Kitty cocaine

Hello Kitty MAC cosmetic sign

Sent in by too many people – stop sending MAC stuff – the campaign is over and let’s leave it that way for everybody’s sanity…

Hello Kitty Pick-Up Truck

Since there are already way too many Hello Kitty cars out there – everything from Smart Cars to minivans – it should be no surprise that a Hello Kitty pick-up truck is roaming the streets terrorizing all those unfortunate enough to see it. I guess it makes sense. The Hello Kitty fanatic needs a place to put her Hello Kitty shotgun

Hello Kitty pick-up truck

Sent in by Miffylv

Hello Kitty Guitar Hero Wii Guitar Mod

One would think that the evil feline would be satisfied after convincing guitar makers to sell their souls and produce both Hello Kitty acoustic guitars and Hello Kitty electric guitars (not to mention what happens when people actually play them or even worse, pretend to play them). This, of course, would be greatly underestimating the lengths that she would go to to try and inflict pain on every person possible and neglect the fact that more and more people are playing Guitar Hero these days. If you are a Wii fan and a Guitar Hero fan (actually, this is good advice to anyone that is breathing), just leave now because you don’t want this haunting you for the rest of the year.

Hello Kitty guitar hero wii mod

Sent in by wiifan

Update: You knew there couldn’t just be one:

hello kitty guitar hero guitar

Left in comments by Ryouga (via Flickr)

Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton Bong

I’m not sure what disturbs me more – that Hello Kitty bongs exist or that there are several variations of them. Apparently, when a standard Hello Kitty bong is not high class enough for some Hello Kitty fanatics, they go out and make something a little more upscale like a Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton bong. With either one, when you get high and see what you’ve been smoking from, I’m pretty sure that you’re in for an very unpleasant experience…

Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton bong

Left in the comments by Harlock

Hello Kitty Stained Glass Window

Any normal person would figure that after my wife had decided on the Hello Kitty house made of Hello Kitty bricks with Hello Kitty plants in front surrounded by the Hello Kitty picket fence and Hello Kitty display cases to keep all her Hello Kitty junk that my wife’s dream house had pretty much reached the point where it could no longer be Hello Kittified. Of course, normal never applies when living in Hello Kitty Hell and the Hello Kitty stained glass window proves this point:

Hello Kitty stained glass window

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Hello Kitty History Video

Hello Kitty, as has been well established, is disturbing just being herself. It gets more disturbing when people feel it necessary to write books about her. Then it gets even worse when people get a huge crowd to listen to a lecture about a book about Hello Kitty. Basically, it’s everything that you never wanted to know about the evil feline — don’t bother watching because it’s 30 minutes of your life you can never get back:

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Hello Kitty Longboard Surfboard

When it comes to the fanatics of the evil feline, price is rarely a consideration. Take for example, this Hello Kitty longboard surfboard (not to be mistaken for the Hello Kitty surfboard). You could get basically the same effect by sticking a bunch of Hello Kitty stickers on the board for a few bucks, but they would eventually wear off (all the more reason, in my opinion, to use this approach if you for some reason momentarily lose all common sense and actually think Hello Kitty on a surfboard is a good idea). Instead, this surfboard had the Hello Kitty laminates placed under the fiberglass for about $1200. I guess you could argue it’s a good shark repellent…

Hello Kitty longboard surfboard

Sent in by ram

Hello Kitty Anthropology & Weekend Photo Dump

My wife now wants to become an Anthropologist. What would cause my wife to all of a sudden want to be an Anthropologist? Well, it seems that if you are one Christine R. Yano and an Anthropology professor at the University of Hawaii, you can get paid to write research papers such as Wink on Pink: Interpreting Japanese Cute as It Grabs the Global Headlines which is all about Hello Kitty. The fact that Cambridge University Press would be willing to publish anything related to the evil feline and give her any academic credence at all goes to show how fast the world is spinning out of control.

And for those who can still keep their food down after reading that, here is the past week’s hello Kitty photo dump which will surely leave your stomach feeling a little lighter:

Hello Kitty Panty Liners
Hello Kitty Wall Display
Hello Kitty Push-Up Bras
Hello Kitty Carabiner
Hello Kitty Appliances
Hello Kitty Birthday Balloon
Hello Kitty Kellogg’s Loops
Hello Kitty Rice Krispies Treats
Hello Kitty Pink Laptop
Hello Kitty Reebok Shoes
Hello Kitty Shopping
Hello Kitty Vodka

Anthropology article link sent in by tsnere

Hello Kitty Panty Liners

You have to love (or more appropriately, cringe) at the way the evil feline sells stuff. Take for example Hello Kitty Intimate slim panty liners (not to be confused with other official and non official feminine protection products already being sold with the cat’s face on them) which somehow “truly understands” something or another (apparently “truly understands” isn’t in reference to how horrible we know their catch phrase for this product is). And is it just me, or does the box look like they made these slim panty liners to appear similar to Hello Kitty’s bow? I don’t even want to go there…

Hello Kitty panty liners

Sent in by lovemimi

update: For those who wanted to see a close up of the Hello Kitty panty liner boxes (seriously, why the hell does anyone want to see a close-up of Hello Kitty panty liner boxes???)

hello kitty intimate panty liners

hello kitty panty liners

Sent in by Pinky

hello kitty kotex

Sent in by Allison Dixley

Hello Kitty Wall Display

One would assume that being able to buy virtually anything with the evil feline’s face on it would be enough for Hello Kitty fanatics, but that is never the case. You also need to build a custom Hello Kitty head display case into your wall in which to display all the junk that you have collected. My wife likes this idea far too much for me not to be worried that one day we will see something like this in our house…

Hello Kitty wall display

Sent in by norma

Hello Kitty Push-Up Bras

A single Hello Kitty bra is disturbing. The fact that stores sell whole racks of them is a pretty good reason to lose faith in the world:

Hello Kitty push-up bras

Sent in by Geoff (via Takecrew) which of course begs to ask the question why exactly he was looking at this stuff…

More hideousness:

Hello Kitty pink bra

Sent in by Molly

Hello Kitty Three Apples Art

Even though it is quite clear that Hello Kitty and art don’t mix, that doesn’t stop the evil feline from trying to be a part of the art world. Apparently Sanrio is throwing a Hello Kitty art show called Three Apples at the Royal/T Cafe in the Los Angeles area from Oct 23 to Nov 15 in honor of Hello Kitty turning 35 years old and they have released a sneak peek at what is going to be there:

Hello Kitty Yosuke Ueno art

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Hello Kitty Carabiner

When rock climbing, putting your life in the hands of the evil feline’s bow is a pretty good way to assure you’ll end up under a Hello Kitty tombstone. Of course, you know that since Hello Kitty is making these, it’s only a matter of time before they are offering a full size Hello Kitty head rock climbing wall…

Hello Kitty carabiner

Hello Kitty carabiner bow

Sent in by peter

Hello Kitty Plush !?

There seems to be a growing trend of Hello Kitty fanatics that not only get joy out of the torment detailed on the blog, but also in getting me in trouble with my wife. An email with the title “Hello Kitty plush” arrived in my email box and I made the bad assumption there would be nothing to worry about. So when my wife asked to see it, I didn’t even hesitate. Who would have guessed this would be the photo:

Hello Kitty plush

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Hello Kitty Hand Grenade

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

In her quest to bring “love and happiness” to one and all, the evil feline has given us a wide assortment of Hello Kitty guns and an Hello Kitty armoured personnel carrier. So I guess it should be no surprise to see a variety of Hello Kitty hand grenades available in Call of Duty:

Hello Kitty hand grenades

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