Hello Kitty Hell

My wife already has a Hello Kitty cell phone which has embarrassed me to no end, but in the land of Hello Kitty fanatics, extreme Hello Kitty gaudiness is never enough. Eventually someone will come along with a Hello Kitty cell phone that is gaudier than your own:

It’s not often that I get in trouble for looking at Hello Kitty stuff (my wife usually dreams that I would be willing to do this), but that is exactly what happened when she saw me looking at this email showing off Hello Kitty “Hey Baby” panties:

It’s bad enough when stuff gets Hello Kittified, but it takes on a whole new level of Hello Kitty scariness when the evil feline decides to try to add sexiness into the equation as well. There is no other way to explain the concept of this Hello Kitty mineral water:

When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, you soon learn that there are way too many people that actually want to be Hello Kitty, so I guess that it really shouldn’t be a surprise that people would do something like take their hair and make it into a Hello Kitty bow:

All I can really say [...]

Any normal person would assume that MAC coming out with a full Hello Kitty line of cosmetics would be as bad as something could get — until they viewed the MAC Hello Kitty video whereupon they would reflect on their naivety and concede that it had just gotten worse (but assume that it had now [...]

It’s always more than a bit scary when I open my emails with Hello Kitty photos attached because there can be something like the Hello Kitty low rise men’s underwear waiting to greet me inside:

I really didn’t think that there would be anything more disturbing about the Hello Kitty MAC cosmetic line than the line itself, but that once again shows that I haven’t learned that the evil feline can always make things worse. If you have any doubt, take a look at this video (be warned, once you’ve [...]

For those of you who remember the Hello Kitty nun (yeah, I know you really didn’t need to be reminded about that, especially if you had somehow managed to get that image out of your mind, but it gives you a tiny sample of what it’s like to live in Hello Kitty Hell) and imagined [...]

I have absolutely no desire to write about this and would rather completely ban them from my mind, but the readers here obviously have no intention of letting me do that. Now that the emails are coming in at several a day, I’m simply posting this so that the emails stop! For anyone that doesn’t [...]

While I hate virtually all the Hello Kitty email that I receive, I especially hate emails that give my wife ideas that she hasn’t thought about before. For example, Hello Kitty hair: