Hello Kitty Hell

What is it with Hello Kitty fanatics and Hello Kitty plush fashion? Seriously, it’s one of the most disturbing trends for the simple fact that someone with absolutely no fashion sense can look at it and know instantly that they would never be caught dead in something like that. It’s bad enough that these types [...]

Apparently the evil feline wants us to believe that flu masks adorned with her image are more than just fashion statements and are actually something you would want to wear to help prevent swine flu. While Hello Kitty fanatics may be willing to place their health in the hands of Hello Kitty products, (as I [...]

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…

There are some things about Hello Kitty fanatics I just don’t want to know. Apparently there is a a rave called Bloodfest where “the Infamous Boom Boom does his blood bath performance which is basically simulated sex in a tub full of blood and bones.” This year Boom Boom incorporated the below Hello Kitty plush [...]

The thing that I fear most in Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I have kids. It’s an absolutely no win situation, fist and foremost, because she will want to have the baby conceived in a Hello Kitty bondage room and delivered in a Hello Kitty maternity ward. If it’s a baby boy, [...]

A few more reasons that my sanity is happy that I was able to avoid the entire Three Apples art exhibit and 35th anniversary celebration in person — There was no doubt that the Hello Kitty fanatics would be out in droves with their corresponding hideous Hello Kitty fashion outfits:

Left on twitter by aminerat (via [...]

The evil feline has no shame. It was obvious that the entire Three Apples 35th Anniversary celebration was going to be Pepto Bismol pink Hell from the beginning, and the appearance of Paris Hilton made things that much worse. Now that photos from the event are being sent to me left and right (seriously folks, [...]

As if there weren’t already 100 reasons not to attend the Three Apples Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary gala torture chamber, the fact that Paris Hilton showed up pretty much ensured that the whole event would have been unbearably painful:

I have no doubt that having to sit through a Hello Kitty fashion show would constitute torture to any civilized nation and most people would consider the death penalty appropriate for anyone that actually put one on (miraculously, this is one experience I have yet to endure although my wife still has it on the [...]

In yet another example that this Hello Kitty 35th anniversary celebration has gone way past the point of sanity, Sanrio invited Portuguese fashion designer Maria Gambina to create a unique fashion piece – the results being the Hello Kitty burqa:

My was already a fan of Lady Gaga due to her Hello Kitty hair bow and visit to Japan where she professed her love of the evil feline. This has only grown as Lady Gaga posed for a Markus & Indrani photo shoot for the Three Apples art collection (yet another reason to avoid this [...]

No matter how much a Hello Kitty fanatic wishes it to be true, putting on evil feline plush ears with a bow is not acceptable behavior. Asking your significant other to try them on “just to see how they look” pretty much assures that you are comfortable with him living in Hello Kitty hell…

Sent in [...]

In another attempt to get me in trouble with my wife (which has unfortunately succeeded), I am now officially not allowed to look at any women other than my wife in Hello Kitty bras and underwear. I was tempted to ask for her to make it a 100% ban on looking at any women in [...]

There are a few things that always hold true when it comes to the evil feline. 1. If it’s something that I have no desire seeing, it’s going to end up at my house or in my email box. 2. Of those things that end up in my email box, quite a few of them [...]

I know it’s going to be a really, really Hello Kitty hellish day when photos like these end up in my email box. I don’t want to know why. I don’t want to know when. I just plain don’t want to know anything about what is going on here. I advise you to turn away [...]

A diamond ribbon, over 400 pink sapphires on its body, a citrine nose, black spinel eyes and made of platinum, there is no doubt that my wife will want this. Luckily for me, her business isn’t so good that she can afford the $150,000 it costs…

Sent in by Susan

I hate Hello Kitty eye masks. My wife sleeps with them on and there are literally dozens of different patterns on the market. While they help keep the light out of her eyes, they also perpetually have me inches away from dying of a heart attack.
Imagine for a moment that your significant other rolls [...]

A single Hello Kitty bra is disturbing. The fact that stores sell whole racks of them is a pretty good reason to lose faith in the world:

Sent in by Geoff (via Takecrew) which of course begs to ask the question why exactly he was looking at this stuff…

Can I just state for the record that I really hate fashion magazines. It has nothing to do with the heroine addict thin models that grace the pages and the unrealistic “perfect” body image that they send to those that read them. I hate them for a much more basic reason. From time to time, [...]

I received the following question in my email the other day:
What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?
“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, [...]