3D Printer Vibrator

The one thing that is always certain in Hello Kitty Hell is that no matter how bad things get, all you need to do is wait another day to realize it will inevitably get worse. One would assume that fanatics of the “one with no mouth” would have gotten their fill with the multi-colored HK vibrators (oh, sorry, those are technically shoulder massagers, aren’t they?) that Sanrio so conveniently decided to reintroduce when it was obvious that they could make a few bucks off of them. That assumption, alas, greatly underestimates the evil feline’s hoards who seem to have a strange fascination of placing her near their own kitty, and must always find some new way to expose the horrific underbelly of new technology.

Most people would think that the advancing technology of 3D printers is something that was pretty interesting, and they probably thought that a lot of great things could be done with them. Of course, the naively never anticipated that HK fans would step into the picture. When they did, the horrors immediately became apparent with the Hello Kitty 3D printer vibrator being developed:

hello kitty 3d vibrator

Read more

Hello Kitty Google Chrome Theme

It’s not enough for the evil feline to fill my house with all of her Hello Kitty crap, she now also wants to be part of my browsing the Internet when using Google Chrome. I guess getting this might be a good way to lose a few pounds because there is no way that you are going to be able to keep any food down if you have to look at that all day…

hello kitty chrome theme

Hello Kitty Google chrome theme

Sent in by Katy (via Chrome Plugins)

Hello Kitty Mimobots

One of the few things that I have been able to keep from being Hello Kittified is my own computer, although my wife has tried repeatedly to convince me that a Hello Kitty computer is something that I need. When convincing me to get a Hello Kitty computer failed, she decided to try and brand my computer with the evil feline by purchasing all kinds of Hello Kitty accessories for my computer. The Hello Kitty mimobots are her latest attempt:

Hello Kitty Mimobot

Read more

Hello Kitty eMac

What’s worse than an Apple lover embracing Microsoft? When users of Apple products start accepting the Hello Kitty and deciding it’s all right to even modify old hardware to celebrate the evil feline. Let’s just pray that this doesn’t foreshadow a whole line of Apple Hello Kitty computers in the future…

Hello Kitty emac

Sent in by crystal (and also left via facebook)

Hello Kitty Hand Grenade

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio┬« has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty┬« to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

In her quest to bring “love and happiness” to one and all, the evil feline has given us a wide assortment of Hello Kitty guns and an Hello Kitty armoured personnel carrier. So I guess it should be no surprise to see a variety of Hello Kitty hand grenades available in Call of Duty:

Hello Kitty hand grenades

Read more

Hello Kitty Nettop Computer

You would think that one Hello Kitty computer would be able to satisfy the Hello Kitty masses, but that seems to be far from reality. There are far too many Hello Kitty computers in existence to feel positive about the future of the world we live in (from special occasion Hello Kitty computers to Hello Kitty computer mods). Add yet another one of these to the list of pink hellishness with the Hello Kitty MiNew A10 nettop computer:

Hello Kitty nettop computer minew A10

Read more

Hello Kitty Worst of and Weekly Photo Dump

I received the following question in my email the other day:

What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?

“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, let’s not even go there. I guess my life has become so Hello Kittified that I have a hard time distinguishing between Hello Kitty bad, Hello Kitty worse and Hello Kitty worst. So here’s a challenge/question – what are the top three worst Hello Kitty items I have listed on this blog (yes, I know there are a number of items even worse that I have not listed, but I try to keep this blog semi family safe) and why do you think so?

I’m hoping that some of you will be able to put together a rational explanation that I can give to my wife to show her that some of this crap is downright crazy — all while not getting me sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the month. Yeah, I know. It isn’t going to work, but I have found that deluding myself that there is hope of one day escaping from Hello Kitty Hell makes the Hello Kitty toast and coffee go down easier in the morning…

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump:

Hello Kitty DragonCon Pasties Nightmare
Hello Kitty Birthday Party
Hello Kitty Minivan
Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary Laptop
Hello Kitty Robot
Hello Kitty Bed
Hello Kitty Rain Boots
Hello Kitty Knife
Hello Kitty Pink Room
Hello Kitty Cutting Board
Hello Kitty Mascot Costumes

And a few photo post updates:

Hello Kitty Bra Shop
Hello Kitty Anime
Hello Kitty Bar
Hello Kitty sandwich

Hello Kitty Netbook

I should have learned by now that it’s never a good idea to make a random comment about something I want since I live in Hello Kitty Hell. I have been doing more traveling lately which has had me thinking that I really need to buy a netbook so I don’t have to haul around my clunky laptop where ever I go. I mentioned this to my wife who took it upon herself to research and inform me of the Hello Kitty netbooks out there that would be perfect for me and which she wants to buy for me as a gift:

hello kitty netbook

Read more

Hello Kitty Computer Case Mod

It’s not enough that Hello Kitty comes out with a new Hello Kittified computer every few months and more Hello Kitty computer accessories than is healthy for anyone that can still refer to themselves sane to have, but of course that is not enough for the true Hello Kitty fanatics. They have to go out and Hello Kittify their computer themselves like this Hello Kitty case mod:

Hello Kitty computer case mod

Read more

Hello Kitty Antivirus and Firewall Software

You knew that this day would come. Not only does Hello Kitty want to sell you computers (such as this, this and this) in her evil feline image, she now also wants to protect your computer from the inside as well with her new Hello Kitty antivirus and firewall software (while it is currently only available in Chinese, you know it’s only a matter of time…):

Helo Kitty antivirus software

Read more

Hello Kitty Doom Mod

If there is one thing you can say about Hello Kitty, it’s that the evil feline doesn’t see anything as off limits when it comes to putting her face on it. One would assume that there are some places that she just wouldn’t want to venture, but that is obviously not the case as the Hello Kitty Doom flashlight mod so graphically illustrates:

Hello Kitty Doom flashlight mod

Read more

More Hello Kitty Computer Laptops

I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise since we all know that Hello Kitty will do anything to make a buck, but the evil feline has decided to turn computer laptops into a fashion statement and roll out new themes every 6 months. The process has been building over the years. At one point, you had to actually pimp out your own Hello Kitty computer before Epson decided to bling out the laptop for you. From there is went down hill. That success lead to monogrammed Hello Kitty themes and we all prayed that would put things to an end, but alas Epson has decided to come out with 2 more Hello Kitty themes: Flower and Airplane

Hello Kitty Epson Laptop Flowers

Hello Kitty Epson Computer Airplane

Read more

Hello Kitty Circuit Board

Today, two confounded IT technicians wandered into my office and handed me a drawer from the new rack that they were installing. Printed on the circuit board was….

I cringed with despair when people started to make Hello Kitty computer mods. This sickness only increased as manufacturers began rolling out mass produced Hello Kitty laptops (and another and another), but I figured that it had to end there. Seriously, what else could Hello Kitty really do? But, alas, as has been well established here in Hello Kitty Hell, the evil feline can always do more. For those of you not yet thoroughly convinced that Hello Kitty plans to place her face on every single product in the world, I present the Hello Kitty circuit board.

Hello Kitty circuit board

Hello Kitty motherboard

Read more

Hello Kitty Online — MMORPG Beta

While I was earnestly hoping that this entire nightmare would simply go away, it appears that the readers here will not allow that since I have received over 40 emails to date letting me know that the Hello Kitty MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) has launched. While over 40 emails from readers in itself is extremely disturbing (most with far too much exuberance), even more disturbing was the fact that I received an official press release from Sanrio Digital about this (how completely warped is that? There is something seriously wrong in the world when Sanrio begins sending me press releases…)

Hello Kitty online

As should come as no surprise, the press release shows that the Hello Kitty sticks with her true colors by making money (“The Item Mall allows players to use real money to purchase special items and upgrades for characters”) and creating violence (“Hello Kitty Online has an extensive crafting system with output such as tools & weapons…it has a sophisticated combat system”) key aspects to the game. You actually thought they would stop with Hello Kitty guns and Hello Kitty armoured personnel carriers?

Of course, my wife thinks that this game will somehow endear me to the evil feline since she knows I enjoy online games. “Don’t you just want to play?! Doesn’t it sound like the most fun ever?!” (those are questions that quickly lead to the couch and the Hello Kitty sleeping bag)

I wonder if the game will let you immediately commit suicide because even before being forced to try it out, I already know that is the only thing I’m ever going to want to do while playing it. Once again, Sanrio proves that they can always make my Hello Kitty Hell worse…

Sent in by Sanrio Digital (warning: as is to be expected from all things Hello Kitty related, annoying music will blast from your computer speakers) where all people working deserve to lose their jobs for thinking for one second that 1. creating this game was a good idea and 2. sending me a press release about it so my wife could know about it was in any way, shape or form a smart thing to do…

Hello Kitty WinAmp Skin

You know it’s going to be a Hello Kitty Hellish week when something like this happens. I should know by now. Never, ever let a Hello Kitty fanatic borrow your computer. It will always result in something horrendous. After letting my wife use my computer over the last couple of days while hers was getting repaired, I went to listen to music this morning and this popped up on my computer – A Hello Kitty WinAmp skin

Hello Kitty WinAmp skin

Even worse, the Hello Kitty theme song had been downloaded onto my computer. Unfortunately, this is nothing unusual when living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Counter-Strike

It seems that Hello Kitty is not satisfied with having her presence only in World of Warcraft. She also feels it’s necessary to be a part of other shooter games such as Counter-Strike:

Hello Kitty Counter Strike

Hello Kitty Counter-Strike

While my wife has no interest in computer games, she knows that I do so she makes the assumption that if Hello Kitty is somehow connected with computer games, it will help me enjoy Hello Kitty (fall under her evil spell). There is something just so wrong with going onto your computer to play a shooting game and finding a Pepto Bismol pink screen with Hello Kitty all over it. It’s seriously worse than all the blood and guts (at least a lot more nauseating…) and never a good omen In Hello Kitty Hell to find that there is one less place to escape the evil feline…

Sent in by PubliusCanis (via fps banana) who should have to play all his shooter games with Hello Kitty themes for even thinking for a split second that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty WoW Halloween

If you thought the Hello Kitty World of Warcraft user interface was as bad as it could get, Hello Kitty once again proves that it’s always possible to get worse. Thus we find that Hello Kitty is now providing holiday themed Hello Kitty Wow user interfaces:

Hello Kitty wow Halloween

This is what makes Hello Kitty so annoying. Not only does she Kittify everything in her path, once she has Kittified it so you think it can never get worse, she’s really only just begun — and that when the different themes start arriving. Is there really any doubt that we will be seeing a Hello Kitty World of Warcraft Christmas theme in the future? Makes you want to run to the bathroom just thinking about it, doesn’t it?

Sent in by grace via Joi’s Flickr Photos, who should have to play all her games with a Hello Kitty theme for the rest of her life for extending my Halloween horror another day and thinking it could be a good idea in any way for me to see this…

Hello Kitty Swarovski 1GB USB Memory Stick

Since it is the holiday season, Hello Kitty would never be satisfied with reintroducing a new Hello Kitty laptop look and adding a Hello Kitty mouse. She would demand more and of course, NEC would produce it in the form of a Hello Kitty Swarovski 1GB USB Memory Stick:

Hello Kitty Swarovski 1GB USB Memory Stick

Hello Kitty mouse memory stick

And because it is Hello Kitty, that 1GB of memory costs $135 (15,750 yen). With the computer likely coming to me as a present, and the mouse as a stocking stuffer, is there really any doubt that this will be hanging on the tree as a very expensive ornament? You know you’re living in Hello Kitty Hell when Halloween isn’t even over and you are already having heart palpitations when thinking about what Christmas is going to be like…

Hello Kitty Swarovski Computer Mouse

Of course, NEC couldn’t simply stop with a new computer look. They had to create more bling to make Hello Kitty fanatics drool with dreamy lust as their significant others looked on in gut-wrenching pain. Thus the introduction of the Hello Kitty Swarovski crystal bead heart shaped mouse:

Hello Kitty mouse

Hello Kitty mouse memory stick

Of course, this Hello Kitty fanatic lust has a price: $110 (12,600 yen) for a computer mouse. Should I be expecting this as a stocking stuffer to go along with the computer? Those are the thoughts that run through the mind when you live in Hello Kitty Hell…