Hello Kitty Hell

If there is one thing that the evil feline can’t stand, it’s her image appearing on stuff where she hasn’t been able to fleece the buyer for the majority of their last paycheck. Because of this, Hello Kitty tattoos have always posed a problem for her. The solution for body piercings was simple. The idea [...]

What is it with Hello Kitty fanatics and Hello Kitty plush fashion? Seriously, it’s one of the most disturbing trends for the simple fact that someone with absolutely no fashion sense can look at it and know instantly that they would never be caught dead in something like that. It’s bad enough that these types [...]

There are some things about Hello Kitty fanatics I just don’t want to know. Apparently there is a a rave called Bloodfest where “the Infamous Boom Boom does his blood bath performance which is basically simulated sex in a tub full of blood and bones.” This year Boom Boom incorporated the below Hello Kitty plush [...]

The fact that Hello Kitty sushi exists is a pretty good damnation of the human race. That the evil feline also encourages fanatics to wear Hello Kitty chopsticks in their hair when she monetises this trend just further proves that all is not right in the world these days.

Sent in by Jessica

My was already a fan of Lady Gaga due to her Hello Kitty hair bow and visit to Japan where she professed her love of the evil feline. This has only grown as Lady Gaga posed for a Markus & Indrani photo shoot for the Three Apples art collection (yet another reason to avoid this [...]

No matter how much a Hello Kitty fanatic wishes it to be true, putting on evil feline plush ears with a bow is not acceptable behavior. Asking your significant other to try them on “just to see how they look” pretty much assures that you are comfortable with him living in Hello Kitty hell…

Sent in [...]

Let me make it perfectly clear that I have no desire to ever have any type of Hello Kitty plush in my life. If, however, I was forced to pick one that I had to have, the Hello Kitty head mount would definitely give the Hello Kitty tarred plush a run for her money.

There seems to be a growing trend of Hello Kitty fanatics that not only get joy out of the torment detailed on the blog, but also in getting me in trouble with my wife. An email with the title “Hello Kitty plush” arrived in my email box and I made the bad assumption there would [...]

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:
Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty [...]

Hello Kitty is no stranger to extremism, so it seems appropriate that there is a Hello Kitty Jihadist plush out there:

How do dogs get back at Hello Kitty for all the evilness that she brings into their lives? Yoshi, a miniature schnauzer, took matters into his own paws and decided that a little alternative sexual entertainment with a sleeping Hello Kitty plush was in order:

Once again the true nature of Hello Kitty fanatics arrived in my email box. Because Hello Kitty fanatics have this strange concept that Hello Kittifying absolutely everything somehow makes whatever has been Hello Kittified cute (hint: it doesn’t), the world end up with disasters like Domokitty:

If you ever see me with a smile like this on my face with that much Hello kitty crap around, you have my permission to take out any of the many Hello Kitty guns available and put me out of my misery. Seriously. (if I was ever caught in a Hello Kitty hood or Hello [...]

Just when I have about given up hope in Hello Kitty Hell, a photo arrives in my email box that brings a smile to my face. Let’s here a big round of applause for the Hello Kitty pincushion:

It was bad enough that pro wrestling decided that Hello Kitty would be a good addition to their lineup, but Sanrio couldn’t let it stop there. That is why you can now purchase your very own Hello Kitty Mexican wrestling mask:

Damn, just damn (shakes head, tries to push image out of mind, feels ice-cream type headache invade brain and no matter what is attempted, the image won’t go away…)
I know that part of living in Hello Kitty Hell is the risk that something will show up in my email that will traumatize me for the [...]

I should have known that it was going to get worse (this is, after all, Hello Kitty Hell where things always get worse no matter how bad they may seem). Thus we move from the Hello Kitty pink Christmas tree to the Hello Kitty Plush Christmas tree:

Of course, my wife loves both and is [...]

If you ever had any doubt that Hello Kitty wants it all, this should help put it to rest. Not satisfied to been the queen of cuteness, Hello Kitty also wants to be sexy. What other explanation can be found for this Hello Kitty Zent race queen plush:

What exactly is Zent you ask? It’s a [...]

As mentioned previously, Hello Kitty has a problem with other pop culture and invariably tries to make it her own. She has obviously reached the point where all the superheroes have taken too much of the limelight away from her and instead of morphing the superheros into Hello Kitty, she has gone out and created [...]

It only happens once in a blue moon, but it does happen when I least expect it. Something Hello Kitty gets sent to me that makes me believe that there might be light at the end of the Hello Kitty Hell tunnel. Something that makes me think, well, maybe, just maybe, this Hello Kitty Hell [...]